S1 E29 Shit2TalkAbout Depression with Angel Evanger
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Jenn Junod
Hey Angel. Thank you for joining. Shit. You don't wanna talk about, please introduce yourself and what shit you wanna talk about today?
Angel Evanger
Oh, well, thank you so much for having me. This is great. I'm really excited because there's so much shit we don't want to talk about, right? And yeah, and, and just the idea of you kind of bringing that forward. I I really appreciate that. So my name is Angel Evinger. I really wanna talk kind of about depression or mental illness and I hate the word mental illness.
I really kind of like just brain health because really in many cases about depression, it's really about what is, what chemicals are off in your brain and it's not necessarily about, you know, somebody saying something mean to you, it, it's, there's more to it than that and I think we have, so many people that are dealing with depression, especially through COVID and, you know, everything that we've had to deal with that.
I think it's a, a very good thing to talk about and let people know that it's ok, you know, to, to, to look at how you're feeling and know that it's ok to feel that way. And let's try to figure out how to make you feel better.
Jenn Junod
Definitely. And, and I know that we talk about mental health a lot on this podcast and it, it is because it's so important that because what, whatever we've gone through and whatever we're going through, we're not gonna get there if or it'll be a lot of a very hard struggle unless we talk about the underlying and I don't like that.
health, we'll talk about underlying health and getting our feelings, emotions, brain body figured out. Now, how did you get to this point of like you have a podcast? You want to talk about this? Like, how did you get where you're at?
Angel Evanger
Well, my kids are older now. My youngest is 19, but when I had her, I went through postpartum depression, which, you know, I mean, there's a lot of women that, that go through that and after being on medication for that, after a long time the doctor basically said, I think this might be something that's gonna be long term for you. And so I went from seeing my ob about postpartum to actually seeing a psychiatrist about depression and anxiety.
And throughout the years of my kids growing up and being young, II, I had to get on medication and I would try so many times to just say, you know, I don't wanna take it. Who am I? I just, I didn't wanna be without my medication. I can handle it. I can totally do. Ok, so I'm gonna stop taking my medication and not even really talking to the doctor about it just being strong headed in the mind that I will be ok.
I should not have to have medication to live my life. And what I found that and I did this a number of times was that I wasn't, I don't wanna say I wasn't a good person, but I wasn't the best person that I could be. So I wasn't the best mom. I wasn't the best wife. I wasn't the best friend and I definitely wasn't treating myself, you know, with grace and and stuff because because I, I was just, I needed, I needed the medicine.
And what it took me a long time to kind of grip is that when you have depression or when you have anxiety, not everybody has this. But a very large proportion of people you actually have Medica, not medication, you actually have hormones or things in your brain that are not created enough. So you're lacking medication or you're lacking certain things in your brain.
So it's just like, you know, if, if you were diabetic, would you take insulin? Right? Your body needs the insulin. So you take it because that makes you f you know, become, healthy. Well, it's no different with, with mental illness or with, like I say, brain health because you're not, your body is not making that chemical that needs to be in your brain.
So if you don't have it, then you are, your body is not gonna work to its full potential, right? And we all kind of want that best life and that best way of being able to to live your life. And so I kind of found that ok, it's not fair to my kids, you know, for me to not be a good mom or for me to not have the patience or for me to yell at them or for me to spend days in bed, right? which I still had to do in many cases. But so I decided, ok, I'm just committed.
I finally, after years of trying this, I finally just said, ok, I'm, I'm gonna be ok with medication and I know there's a lot of opinion about whether medication should be an option and it's not for everyone. if you have that chemical imbalance in the brain. It is something that's going to bring you back to a normal state and, you know, that's needed for so many people agreed.
Jenn Junod
And before I go down the rabbit hole of medications, I just did the math of your youngest is 19. That means that they were born after the year 2000, which personally makes me feel really old because when I get I DD and they see the one, they don't even worry about looking at the rest because, you know, if you were born in at least 2000, you're 21 right?
I'm like, oh, I know, I feel so old. Right. And I just had to call that one out because, you know, that's at least something, a little fun about this because these conversations, I, I honestly say that these are, I have fun doing them. They can't take a toll on, you know, whoever's having these conversations yet. I, I get a lot out of it and, but for so many people it's not fun. So I like that, that we're able to do this now for the medications and even rimac some, I, you mentioned that if,
with your youngest, you were diagnosed with postpartum and they said that it would last a lot long. It could last a lot longer. How did that feel? How many, you said you have three Children? Yes. Ok. So youngest one, you've you've gone through this twice before you are feeling. How are you feeling? Like, how did postpartum show up for you and how did you realize something was wrong compared to your other two Children?
Angel Evanger
for me, I found that I was sad, you know, for lack of a better term, I just was very emotional and everything, was overwhelming. So being overwhelmed was a huge thing. Whether it was something as simple as you know, like taking care of my daughter. I, I would become completely overwhelmed just by doing that. Right. And, and not that when they are babies, there are a ton of work, don't get me wrong.
But it, I just kind of had that baby blues where everything was really sad and, and emotional and overwhelming and I, when she told me originally that you were gonna have to take that not have to, but that the option was was to take medication. I was just like, no, I don't, I, you know, I'm ok, I can get through it.
I think that's a very common, you know, thing is that you can get through it. But for me it sh and, and still till this day shows up and being overwhelmed or, and that's partially anxiety as well, right? So there's a number of different things that can come up for people when they're dealing with something.
Jenn Junod
It doesn't look the same for everyone and, and thinking about that a little deeper is anxiety is not new in the fact that it's been around for generations. It's it's just becoming more common to talk about and different solutions for it and to dig in a bit deeper on the medications, as I've mentioned before. I'm bipolar type two, depressed and anxiety.
A DH D So super neurodivergent that is who I am in a nutshell. I've had, you know, craniotomy. I have a couple benign arachnoid cysts hanging out on my brain. And so I found that finding the right medication is like finding the right therapist or the right doctor. It's a bitch.
Angel Evanger
It takes a lot of time to figure it out. It takes so much work.
Jenn Junod
Can you give us a, a bit of your journey with that?
Angel Evanger
Yeah. about five or six years ago, we just kind of, you just play with medication, right? So you get on a medication and you try it for, let's say a month. And then the doctor kinda says, ok, how are you feeling? And you say better, worse, same, right? And he says, ok, well, if it's not helping by next month, then we're gonna take you off the medication.
So you wait another month and then they, he says, ok, it's not working, let's take you off. So then you have to come down on the medication little by little right? To get it out of your system and then you stop. So now it's been, let's say, three months, that was one medication that you tried that, you know, that you didn't work and then, then he goes, ok, well, let's try a second medic.
You know what I mean? So, it's like this long process of trying to try something, see if it works for you and then eliminate it. If it doesn't, you don't, you're not gonna get the full effects of any medication unless you've been on it from 3 to 6 months. Right. So, it's really just this, every person is different and it's trying to find this combination of drugs that, that's gonna work for you.
And years ago I got on a medication, I, it's, it was like four different medications and playing with the doses and I got it right. And I was feeling good and so four or five years was good. And then my doctor came to me just last, March this, this year, March and said, you know, this medication that you're on, if you've been on, you're not supposed to be on it long term.
It's supposed to be more of a short term medication that was Geodon. And, and so I said, ok, well, he, he wanted to take me off of it. So I was like, oh, great. Now we're gonna go through this process again. So I come off of the medication which takes again, you know, a series of time because you have to, to taper off of it. And, I went into a depression and, that was March and we've been playing with medication since March.
I think we tried five or six different things in combination with all the rest of the stuff that I was taking and, coming on, coming off and waiting and seeing if it works and just gosh, within the last couple of weeks I'm, I'm thinking, oh, I'm actually feeling good. I can actually get out of bed. I have kind of a will to, or motivation. I think a big part of it is having the motivation to do something.
So you, you aren't just sad or literally exhausted. I mean, physically exhausted from being in depression and there's all these things that people don't realize, you know, is involved, involved in that. So I'm starting to now feel pretty good, but I feel like 2021 was really a waste because it was all about trying to find the right medication.
So it can be complicated, right? It can be complicated to put all of this data that you make it work and I don't want to scare anybody or, you know, say anything it's so worth going through that process to ultimately feel better at the end. And when you get there you go. God, I don't realize how bad it was, but now I feel great, right? And for some people it's one medication and that's great for me and for you, our situation is a little bit more complicated than, you know, just, just trying
11 thing. He, I've also been diagnosed with bipolar two. so that, you know, it's just all, it's all, it's all, just a combination of trying to put things together and like you said, said, take care of your shit. Right. Yeah. Trying to figure your shit out.
Jenn Junod
Yeah. And, and to support what you said at the very beginning, I medication is not for everybody. Medication can help a lot of people. And I wanna dive in a bit deeper on that one. Before we talk about more experiences with medication of there has been a, I wanna say an idea that was put out there that everybody just stuck to that if you're depressed exercise, if you're depressed, eat better, if you're depressed, sleep better.
And yes, those are all very, very, very good ideas and practices and it can keep our body healthy. And for many, many people that really does help their mental health, it really can, it does not help everyone. And I think that's a big, a big thing that we've talked about with many people on this podcast. It's, it's different for everyone. I know that I used to love going out and seeing a bunch of people and people watching and now if I the thought of being in a crowd, I get anxious just
thinking about it where I, and I'm like, that's crazy. I did that probably until I was 31 and in the last year or so, you know, during COVID, I was like, I like being by myself. And as my partner likes to tell me I nest, I basically set up a fort in our bed and when I need to recover, you could say, or, you know, get back to myself.
So it's, it's a very, very big balance. It's different for all of us. And I really want to call that out before talking a bit more about, like, medications and bipolar type two.
Angel Evanger
Right. Right. No, I agree. I, you know, it can really be overwhelming. Right. And, and I don't, for those that don't experience depression or anxiety on any level don't really understand that, you know, if you go into a group of people, like, let's say a party, which I is not my thing anymore when I was younger. Yeah, of course, I was like, you know, I, I was never a big partier but I would love to be with people.
and now my example is we like to go to Disneyland, so we go to Disneyland and I'm there for half a day and I'm like, ok, I need to go shut down, take a nap in my bedroom. Right. And, and then I'll come back for the evening stuff because it just gets completely overwhelming and my family knows that, whereas they go from seven o'clock in the morning till midnight and they are totally fine.
Right. So they just kind of understand that I need that downtime, like you said, to recover, to kind of recoup to, to shut off everything that's around you and allow yourself to kind of reboot almost. Right.
Jenn Junod
Yeah. And, and on that note, 11 thing that I do wanna mention is we both talked about bipolar type two. And for those who don't understand bipolar or bipolar to break that down a little bit is bipolar means that individuals will go into mania where they go into such grandiose where they feel like they're on top of the world. This is why you may see someone that is bipolar, it can feel like they can fly, can feel like they can do anything.
They may decide that they're in and I don't want to say decide they may feel that they are invincible and speed a lot more or and they, they go into a very, very depressed mode afterwards. Now with bipolar type two, it's, it's very similar yet, not the the mania is not as extravagant. So it is called Hypomania, which means that individuals with bipolar type two will, it could be a day or a week that they will go into being a bit more productive, being a bit more talkative.
It's definitely not as grandiose yet. The depression is just as bad, if not worse. Right. And that is something that I think and, and for all of those listening or watching that is my own interpretation of bipolar. Bipolar type two. So you want to get to know more, please Google it and, or talk to a doctor.
what I found is understanding the stigmas behind a lot of this because I was diagnosed with a DH D and bipolar type two. And for some reason when I was first diagnosed, I was like, no, I'm not bipolar, I can take my, you know, a DH D Medicaid, I'm not that poor, but no, I'm not that poor.
Angel Evanger
Right? I think part of the process of, of being diagnosed is acceptance, right? And it takes for me, it took years for me to really accept it. So it sounds like you can kind of relate to that.
Jenn Junod
Yeah. And, and something that my psychiatrist, I moved to Colorado about a year ago and I've been working with, a psychiatrist and just getting all my stuff in order. And one thing that he asked me as we're going through all, all of it. I told, had to tell him about my entire past and he's like, it sounds like you have PTSD as well. I'm like, what is PTSD?
Like? Isn't that just for like the military? Because they go through some shit and he's like, no, he's like PTSD happens to anyone that has trauma. But I what I love the most about my psychiatrist that he asked me, are you, how are you feeling with these diagnoses? How are you feeling about your treatment plan? And that's, it made me go from, you're a doctor assigning me stuff. Like you're a teacher assigning me stuff.
I have to do this to, we're a partner in this to make me feel better. Right. Yeah. Like he cares about me as a human. But, I mean, in general, like, he probably could give two shits because it's not his problem. It's my problem. And have you gone through that experience dealing with different psychiatrists in that process? Because I feel like it's a very different process. Mattering on who you go to.
Angel Evanger
Oh, totally. I remember when I first was diagnosed and, and went from my ob to a doctor, he didn't look at anything more than what the OB said. He just kind of said, oh, ok. Well, you know, postpartum here's medicine. So, like you said, he wasn't partnering with me to figure out kind of what happened. And after being there for probably a year, maybe a year and a half, my girlfriend who, had a different doctor within the same office recommended, this doctor to me.
And so I switched over to, to him and I've had him since the beginning. So, well, 18 years now, I mean, God, I'm showing my age but, you know, I've had him for, for so long that we, we have this real history and this real understanding and he can go back through all the notes and really go, oh yeah, we did this and we did this and, I think having a good partner in this makes such a big difference because you know, we talk about medication being an option.
You really want somebody that's there to support you, like you said, and to really help you become your best self. And it's not about, ok, here's medication. Get out of my office. Right. It's about how are we going to make you better? And so like one trip we go, ok, so you're feeling X, let's, let's, you know, try to make that even out with medication or therapy or whatever it is.
And then the next time I go and I'm going well, I'm feeling good on this sense, but now I'm not feeling good on this sense and there's really this balance of when one thing goes up, another thing goes down. Right? It's it. And then, so then you take something else to bring up that thing that's down and then the other thing might go down again. It's just like this, it's just a, it's just a game almost, right.
It's like trying to figure out what works for you. And, I was lucky enough to kind of find the, the, the right doctor who put me on AAA cocktail of medication that is very different, I think, than I would get from anyone else. And he says to me before he's like, if so, if some of the doctors saw the kind of stuff that I had you on or the combination of stuff, he would think that I was crazy.
Right. But it worked. Who cares? It works. Right. It gets me because I don't live a good life when I'm not feeling good. So, I mean, I don't wanna, again, I don't wanna say medications for everyone. But, if, if you have nothing else left and you're, you know, and, and you're not feeling good, you have the right as a human being to feel good about yourself, to feel good about the environment you're in to, to feel happy.
It's such a joy, is such a thing that some of us comes very easily. Right? But if you're in our position, it may not come naturally unless you really work on it and you have to have that partner to be able to do that with.
Jenn Junod
Yeah. Agreed. Agreed. And you, you mentioned about how he, your psychiatrist partnered with you and you've been, with the same psychiatrist for 18 years. I've had a primary doctor that I absolutely, absolutely love. That's in Phoenix. And one thing that she would mention and while I was going through all this journey is she and I talked about non prescribed medications.
So, like herbal medications and for some people that really works too and there's different options out there that's not something that works for me. And I don't want to promote or not promote a specific, way of doing things or a specific brand. I just want to throw it out there that there are different options. There are some people find a lot of resources with medication, with, you know, different communities around them.
There's so many different aspects and sometimes it is a lifestyle change, sometimes it is a physical location change and it's really, really hard to, to figure that all out. So while, while you've been going through all of this, what are some questions that you ask the world or ask yourself that you kinda had to deal with or figure out to get where you're at now?
Angel Evanger
Well, I think a big one for me and even for my friends that I've, you know, kind of discussed this with was acceptance was how do you just accept that this is the way you are and that you need help and I think that's so hard to do. But it's such a big part of what you do, you know. And, and knowing that once you make that step to say I need help and I'm gonna accept the help from somebody that I trust and then we're gonna work together to make this right?
And for years and years it was kind of a gamble, you know, just a juggling act. And I, like I said, I got to a point where I was like, ok, I, I feel good and I was able to stay on that combination for a number of years, feeling really feeling really good. One other thing that you mentioned too before was like the diet and how, to incorporate some of those things and whether or not they help for me, I, I, I think those things help.
I, I think it's part of, you know, your treatment plan. For example, I went through a period where I changed my diet drastically and became a vegetarian. Not nobody has to do that. You know, that's not what I'm saying. But I changed my diet drastically and it made me feel better. I felt better and I think that whether you're dealing with depression anxiety, bipolar or not doing that will make you feel better.
I just felt clear, I just felt, you know, but it's always in combination with the other things, you know, that I'm doing. So, I feel like for some people, they may be in a situation similar to ours and they change their diet and they're like, I feel better. You know, for me, it was just a small portion. It was just kind of this, this one thing that made things a little bit clearer for myself that I was able to kind of, see a difference in, in making some of those changes.
So there, there's so many things that, that might give you a little bit of a change to help you feel better that, you know, if you do three or four of those things exercise regularly, maybe yoga, you know, eat, healthily or, or really try to put nutrients in your body, just not food, that kind of thing, that you might get a couple of jumps for it that will help, you know, with how you feel.
Jenn Junod
Yeah. And, and that's actually something that we have a dietician, that came on a few episodes ago that really talks about how our gut health can affect the rest of our body. And it's almost, it's great and also kind of difficult to narrow down where the pieces are that we need to fit in the puzzle a little better or, and it's different for everyone. There are some things that I, I really do want to pick out that we, we've mentioned and I've heard you say of you felt better and that is
something that took me a long time and I've heard of this from others that they didn't know that feel better was a thing. They thought it, it is what it is and I'm never going to feel better. It's, I'm gonna, I'm stuck. I can't get out of this and they've been that way and it's surrounded by that their entire life. And how did you start realizing that there was a better, huh?
Angel Evanger
That's a good question. I don't, I, I didn't realize that there, it was a possibility until I started feeling it. Right, like you said, I think you get into a point where you're like, well, this is just, this is just what it is, right? This is just how I gotta live my life in the level that I'm gonna, that I'm gonna live my life. And, I, I think that's where we lose a lot of people right to people that just kind of give up and say I can't, I can't do this anymore.
But if you can, just keep trying, you know, just keep going one step forward. whether it's like you said, gut health or diet or, trying to incorporate certain things into your life when you, when you start to feel better, when I started to feel better, I didn't realize how bad I felt right until you start kind of feeling the positive. So for me, I didn't know it was possible until I even got there and then once you get there and like, in my case, I had to change my medicine and I went back,
you know, six years to where I was before and I was like, oh, this sucks. And, and trying to figure out what, you know, what happens now with my current situation, which really sucks. Is that when I changed my diet, I lost about £80 and with the medication that I'm currently on that we got working, worked before. But I gained weight. So I was kinda like, I don't even wanna try that medicine because I'm gonna gain weight.
Well, that's the only thing, that was the only thing that was left for me to try. And I said fine, I'll try it. So now I'm in this battle between I, I'm on this medication but I gain weight on this medication. So how am I going to feel good about myself? Right. And feel positive about things when physically I'm doing everything that I can that I used to do to keep my body a certain way and I'm just gaining weight.
So, you know, there's a challenge with everything, with every medication, there's a side effect and it, it, you really just have to choose, ok, what's more important? Like for the longest time, I wouldn't even take this medication. And my, my husband's like, really, you're going to, you know, not feel good knowing that this medication works because you don't wanna gain weight.
And I was like, yep, that's just, that's just the way it is. Right. And needing to accept the fact that there, it changes, it changes in my body, you know, and, and I don't wanna sound like it's such a downer to have to be in this position and have to take these medicines but there's challenges with everything, you know, and, and this, this idea of brain health or mental illness or whatever it is that you want to talk about, it's a, it's work and like you said, it affects your day to day
life, right? And so when you find something that does work, you have to embrace that, you know, and you have to, you have to really work for it. So if you notice that you change your diet and you feel better, then that's what's real for you, right? If you notice that when you do yoga, you feel better, then that's what you should do for you. And it may only be a small bit better but it's better than where you were. Does that answer your question?
Jenn Junod
It does, it does and, and that does show a bit of before and after and also cause and effect because I know for myself and mattering on when this one airs. But at the end of February, I'm gonna be having a hysterectomy and I don't have kids and I've been diagnosed with PC OS, which is Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. We're gonna go with that Google it, PC OS.
And for those individuals that have ovaries and a uterus and all of that, it's, it's where my periods would be so painful and so disruptive in my life and I the mood swings from it. And this is definitely something that also contributes to all of my medications. I finally, last year it was, it was very interesting. I went in and I knew that because of this.
I needed to try one more birth control. It was the last one I haven't done yet. And I was just like, I don't wanna do it. I'm going to gain weight. Right. And I totally did. I gained, like, £15. But it's, it's the type of thing that we really need to see overall what is best and what are the effects of the, of the two for me having a hysterectomy is, yes, it is scary yet.
It is very much worth it because I'm in so much pain and I, I don't know what life is really like without birth control since the age of 12. So I've been on this, like 20 plus years and to your point earlier that really does affect your hormones. That being said, like I know for myself, I'm going to adopt like that is my partner and I have already talked about it.
That is something we want to do in our future. And for the part of acceptance, it is definitely our choice and it is so scary, so, so scary to trust ourselves and to learn to trust ourselves. And that means having that conversation with ourselves, even if our spouse doesn't agree, even if our family doesn't agree, even if our support system is shit and they don't agree, which is probably why they're a shit support system.
Right. On that note though, like, you went through this while you had a newborn and kids growing like little kids. And I can only imagine how difficult that is as, not only a new mother but a mother with kids because yes, I don't have kids but many of my friends do and I can only tell they're a handful, you know, like mothers out there. and fathers like y'all like parents, I should just say parents, y'all have a lot going on.
Angel Evanger
Oh yeah, totally. Totally. I think that oh gosh, it's just, you know, really the reason why I kind of, I went where, where, where I was was because with I had to put my kids first, right? So the decision I made was that I need this medication because my kids need me to be in a better place to, to handle that. So, you know, it's, it's a challenge. You mentioned that you had PC OS again. I can relate to you on that sense because yeah, I've had that as well.
And when I got pregnant with my first daughter, we had to use something called Clomid that because PC OS basically you don't ovulate on a regular basis. It's sporadic. There's no, it makes no sense. So I wasn't ovulating when we were trying to get pregnant. So we took something that called clo me that made you ovulate so that you could get pregnant so I can relate to, to that. And that has an issue related to weight gain as well.
Jenn Junod, Angel Evanger
So, you know, it's like there's so much that that's involved in this whole process and for those of you watching for longer pauses, we have a Dago situation.
Jenn Junod
So, no, there's no need to be sorry. This is what I love about, you know, zoom and just the virtual, the world now is you're in another state than me and we still get to have this conversation and that's the beauty of working from home. It's, it's messy shit. And you, you mentioned about that you had to take this pill and you gained weight and what would you say for parents out there?
Kind of like, especially if they have a significant other that doesn't believe in, in, you know, medication or especially I've heard this in past relationships and it's one of the most painful things I've ever heard of. Well, you're always dealing with it. You always keep saying it's gonna get better. You keep saying that it's gonna be long term. Why aren't you getting better? What the fuck is your problem?
Like take any variation of them and I've probably heard it. Yeah, it is so hurtful, especially for those who have never been through this and I, I have a special place in my heart because I feel like yes, it's very hard as an individual for myself. Yet I can only imagine if you have kids, if you have a partner that isn't supportive, like, what would you tell someone going through that?
Angel Evanger
Well, I've been very lucky because my partner has been very supportive, of me and kind of my process and that's not to say that I don't feel bad because he has to, you know, deal with certain things that other couples may not have to deal with. But I, I think you need to focus on making yourself a priority so that you can provide for those that are around you, right?
So if it's the whole put, you know, the mask on yourself before you put it on your kids, I've heard that a million times because nobody's gonna understand what you're going through except for you, no matter how much you're able to talk about it, no matter how supportive your spouse is, the only one that's gonna understand it is you and learning what that is for you, what is it that you personally need?
And if you're not getting that from your spouse, you know, if, if he's not someone or she's not someone that will take, we talk about it and that will support you. Find that in other people. I mean, we have access now to so many different communities with Facebook and you know, just different, different things that you can connect online through Zoom.
You can find support groups of people that go through that. I mean, you know, we just, we talked before but we just kind of met today and there's a lot of things that are exactly the same between you and me that we could probably, you know, talk about and, and, and share and support each other. So it's just about, about finding that that person.
And I did have a, I had a really good friend that I, I don't know, I don't even know how she came into my life. Well, I know how she came into my life, but I don't know, I was very lucky to find her because she experienced a lot of these things herself and was able to say to me, this is not normal, right? This is not what you should be dealing with. This is the doctor is not doing what you need, you know.
So it's, it's great to have a community of people around you that can support you and guide you too because, you know, when you're diagnosed with depression or PC OS or, you know, bipolar, it's new, it's new to you. It's probably new to your family, new to your kids. So what resources can you tap into that will support you through the process, right?
Because that, it's just about finding that group because your, your family who's not going through it personally is not gonna understand it at the same level that somebody else that is experiencing it or has experienced it is gonna be able to, to support you. so just finding those people that, that you can connect with, that can help you with what you're going through.
you know, my, my spouse is beyond supportive but there are things that he doesn't understand. Right. So there, there are things that I can find from this girlfriend that I have that I would never be able to find through my husband just because he does not have the experience and it doesn't make him, you know, any like bad or good.
Jenn Junod, Angel Evanger
It just, it's just different, right in 100% on that.
Jenn Junod
That is something I, I love the, the, the what you said on the resource groups online because something that I think a lot of individuals think of is this is only for people that live in the city, people that have, you know, all the therapists in the world. I honestly have never met my psychiatrist in person. He's online and my therapist is online.
Now. I used to go see her in person, but now I'm like, I'm much more comfortable being in my little nest bubble in bed talking to her online than in her office. And it makes me focus a lot more. And also just the fact of you, your partner can do a lot, your partner can be there quite a bit. It doesn't mean that they need to be want to be, should be your only source of telling them everything.
That is a huge, huge burden on them. And that's something that I, I think a lot of us don't really conceptualize because we're like, oh, my gosh, we found such a cool partner that is there for us yet. It's, it's kind of like when you put it in the love box, it's a picture of like, you know, a little box and both individuals have to put a lot of love in it because if it go, if one doesn't put into it, the other person will dry up and want to go away.
And sometimes, at least for myself, what I've learned is that if I only talk to Tyler, my partner about this stuff, it can get really, really overwhelming for him because he hasn't had these types of experiences. He doesn't understand why all of a sudden I'm crying because for some reason, the conversation we're having about finances triggers me being in solitary confinement when I was four, right?
What the two are logically not associated whatsoever, but something there decided it was that is something that I really, really want to hit on is the fact that your partner can be there for you, but they're not the only ones there and they don't have the tools that you need, right?
Angel Evanger
And, and if we would expect them to take full responsibility of what we're going through, like you said, they're then gonna be completely overwhelmed and, and not be able to provide assistance. So they may feel like they're inadequate, right? Because they can't give you what you need. So find, find a group or person or community you know, that can provide that for you.
And there's so many opportunities out there right now because you know, everything's on zoom now. You know, like you said, you used to go through to a doctor's office or to a therapist office and you don't have to do that anymore. My, you know, to meet which makes it so many more opportunities available as well.
Jenn Junod
Yeah. And, and I do wanna call out like during, you know, the pandemic times a lot of people have said the, the touch, the vibe, the aura, it is, it is sometimes harder to relay that over a screen yet. I don't know, I feel such, there's such beauty in it and it does take more to, to have these deeper conversations because especially for example, coworkers or your neighbors because you're not walking by them all the time where you overhear them talking about.
I'm saying football because you know, that is a very popular topic in an office. The guys at work will still, they'll be talking. I, my main core group is a group of three gentlemen and me. So they'll talk football for 5, 10 minutes and then I'm like, ok, great. So I was able to get this new map lipstick that I absolutely love it, it's in this dark shade and I got the best eyeshadow palette ever. And you know, I don't have to red dye my hair this week.
My, you know, dry shampoo is doing great and I literally will talk about it because I'm like, I, I love the fact that they are able to talk about it. I do want to step up and you know, you guys can have guy talk. I also am invaluable as a woman, even if I don't understand or like football, I do like football and this may make people mad. Go Chargers, Tyler's from San Diego. They did move. I get it but Go Chargers were bulked up. Yes.
Angel Evanger
Yeah, absolutely.
Jenn Junod
And so what are some tips or tricks that you have like with breaking down the eyes when it, when everything is virtual now?
Angel Evanger
Well, I think that gosh, your first decision to make is ok. I need to put myself out there and put myself in uncomfortable places that, you know, you may not have experienced before. And, and I think in able to, it to be able to do that, you kind of just have to, to look at your situation and go ok, I'm gonna share this and not everyone's gonna be able to relate to it, but I'm not looking for those people who can't.
Right. So who cares what their, their thought process is or what they say they're gonna have their own opinions. And just look for that specific group that, that already states that this is what they deal with. Right? If it, it's, it's so much like when I was, my kids were born in 2000 or 95 4002, there wasn't, you know, Facebook groups really.
Then there wasn't, you know, a community of people that, can do that. I met most of my friends through like a mommy and me group club, which you can still, you know, do nowadays. So it's just about trying to find that that group that you can connect with. So Facebook or, you know, meetups or so many different communities out there that you can reach out to that, you know, even for us, if, if we said this is our situation, depression anxiety, bipolar PC OS, we could probably put all that
information out there and find a group that has, you know, that deals with all those four things for us. So, it's just a matter of looking, you know, and knowing that if people judge you, who cares because that's not who your audience is, that's not who your support group is. So you don't want to, to even worry about what they're saying.
Jenn Junod
Agreed, agreed. And also for those individuals that are in the limelight or we'll say that. So you have like influencers podcasters, youtubers, movie stars. I the world is changing to be a lot more open about this and if you have questions and you're relating to some of them, it doesn't hurt to try to reach out like there's, there's been quite a few people that I've reached out to on Instagram that I'm just like, dude, you're a badass.
Jenn Junod, Angel Evanger
Can you, like be on my show?
Angel Evanger
Right. Yes. Right.
Jenn Junod
Absolutely. And those there, it's, we are much more connected if we choose to be now Angel before I know we gotta wrap up soon. But to, to make sure that we're, we covered everything. Is there anything else that you wanted to cover that we haven't covered yet?
Angel Evanger
No, I mean, I think again, I think that making yourself a priority, and really think about what you need to feel your best. Right? Because in order to be the best person that you can be for everyone else. If you're, you know, married or in a relationship or a parent, you need to be the best for yourself. So I would just reiterate that, what is, try to figure out what that is, you know, if, if you can improve the way you feel 10% by talking to a group of people that, you know, can relate to you,
then, then do that and then maybe there's something else that will give you another 10%. So it's just a matter of trying to figure out what those things are. Right. And, and how to, take advantage of those things because you are better for everyone else when you take care of yourself. And that's a hard thing. A hard, hard, hard, hard thing to do.
Jenn Junod
Yes. Agreed. It's, it's, it's not an overnight process. I, I love that towards the end of the conversation we'll be doing. what is something we're grateful for. That is something that has helped me through years. Not something that I even really enjoyed when I first started doing it because I was like, this is d I don't want to write it out. It takes time and it's something that really helped me start changing my mindset or journaling.
like you said about like, what is something that, that 10% what is something that really lightens me up and for myself, it's these human connections, it's having these plant shitty conversations and you know, digging in deep to give others a resource that is something that lights me up and for myself, it's a lot of like having random notes on my phone or in a journal somewhere to go.
This worked. This didn't work, right? This is what I want. This is what I'm not at. So how do I get from A to B and using those resource groups? What are any words of encouragement that you have for the audience? And how do they reach out to you?
Angel Evanger
Well, words of encouragement are, are basically just know that there is a route that's, that's available for, you know, that there is a process that is going to make you feel better. So just be open to that. what that process may be. And like we said earlier, what is that? 10% or 5% or 2%? You know, what is it? One thing that you can do that may not make you feel 100% better, but that brings joy to your life.
That brings a smile to your life. And, you know, with my kids older now us getting together and having lunch is like a huge thing, right? Whereas before it was like, I would just kind of go, oh, I gotta do lunch again. You know, now it's just like that, that just brings me joy. So that's something that I try to incorporate into my life and they probably have no idea, you know, that, that, that's what it does or that's, you know, that it really makes that big of a difference in my life, but it
does. so a little bit, about me, I have a podcast, it's called The Soulful Mind. And we are almost at 100 episodes, which is just amazing to me. Yeah. So, I would love for everyone to check that out and see, we, we focus on women and basically how things that we can provide to provide more joy, a purpose in your life and, and how to go about doing that.
We have amazing women and one man, we had one man on, that, that, talk to you about their life and things that they've experienced and things that have worked for them. So I would love to, to share that with him as well.
Jenn Junod, Angel Evanger
Oh, and I'm also, I'm on, I am on Facebook, Angel Avenger and I'm also on, Instagram, Angel Avenger and of course, you will be tagged when we post about the interview.
Jenn Junod
So don't worry about that. We got you there and the show will be in the show notes so everyone can go follow and listen. And what is something that you're grateful for?
Angel Evanger
Oh, gosh, so many things. Today, I'm grateful for talking to you because I think that, I don't know, just spreading this information is so important because if there's one person that feels alone right now and feels like they can't do it anymore. Or, or is just looking for guidance if we're able to connect with that one person. I'm grateful for you giving me the opportunity to do that. So, thank you.
Jenn Junod
You are very welcome Angel. And I got to think of my, my gratitude thing now, I, I'm grateful for just different ways. My family communicates. I have a very, very old school family on one side, a very old fashioned family. Another side of our family is very I'm gonna say Lucy goosey, I guess. And it's just, it's very cool of the dynamic from each of them has really taught me to be much more open to ideas unlike my own.
Angel Evanger
That's great. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.
Jenn Junod
So thank you, Angel for joining you. Looking forward to everybody, checking out your show as well.
Angel Evanger
Perfect. Thank you so much for having me.
We appreciate you listening to the episode. Please like follow and share on our social media at shit to talk about. That is shit. The number two talk about stay tuned on Wednesdays and Fridays for new episodes. This episode was made possible by production manager, Tom Nan, business manager, Bill Powell and your host, Jen.
