S1 E2 Shit2TalkAbout Being the Greatest Pretender with Martha Mok

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Jenn Junod

Thank you for joining. Sh!t You Don’t Want to Talk About  says in the title. This is Sh!t You Don’t Want to Talk About  this can have explicit content. We do cuss and we don't censor and it could be content that's not suitable for kids under the age of 13. That being said, kiddos, please ask your parents to listen. If you want to listen to one of these episodes.

Parents, please use your best judgment if you are gonna allow your kids to listen to this. This is content that I wish I knew when I was a kid yet. It does involve explicit content and there are trigger warnings for both kiddos and adults read the description to read what it's about because there are way too many topics that we talk about that could be trigger warnings for any of us.

We do wish you the best and we really want to have this podcast out there to change shit. You don't want to talk about to Shit2TalkAbout. So we all have help and no longer feel alone. Much love. Enjoy the episode. Can you introduce yourself as the way that you want people to know about you and, just get us started from there?

Martha Mok

Excellent. Hi, everyone. My name is Martha Mock. I'm known as the super confident coach. I'm also known as someone that, who has been in silence for over 30 years. I've been for an abusive marriage for 19 years. I was bullied at school since a very young age. But the hardest thing for me to admit was being sexually molested by someone I trust.

But despite all of that, I choose to be like, I choose to be an inspiration and not let other suffer what I did. So my mission is to have no woman suffering in silence. I love that.

Jenn Junod

And thank you. And one thing that if if anybody just joining this call doesn't know anything about Martha is her career, which has been phenomenal and I, I can really relate to the fact that one thing she mentioned during our intro call is being so completely put together on the outside doesn't necessarily mean that she was put together on the inside.

And I really relate to that since she was in the makeup and bridal industry. So can you tell us a bit more about that and how you kind of started shaping from when you, how you even started that career? Because that's like so many people wish that they could start that career in general.

Martha Mok

Definitely. So I started my makeup journey when I was 26. I came back from Hong Kong after spending three year there being a supervisor of marketing. And then when I come back to Australia, I feel like that there was something wrong with me. I feel a sense of anxiety and panic attack. And the worst thing was one day when I was going to work, my knee started shaking and I'm like, oh something is wrong with me.

So I went and actually see my doctor and he suggested that I should do something a bit more easier for the time being so I can recover from my mental stress. So I went and did this reception job. They're wonderful people. But as I was only 24 6 and looking at time born and beautiful all the time. and I ask myself, what am I going to do with my life? So I was always interested in art and craft.

I was having winning the first prize when I was in high school in free unit art. I'm like, hm, maybe I can do something about it. That's how I started my makeup career. Let me go and learn to do makeup. And within the first year of learning the makeup industry, I was so grateful to be accepted into this competition and I won the first prize as a bridal hair makeup award artist.

And three years after that, I was nominated by the Australian Bridal Industry Award as the top 10 hair makeup artists in the New South. Well, then it move up to top 15 in Australia. So I have a very successful career of being a makeup artist. Then COVID hit everything change. All the one on one business, all my wedding gown business, all the decoration business all have shut down.

So I was in a state of desperation, I don't know what to do. And I remember that I must be crying for about two weeks. Yeah, when COVID hit, I was in a loss, I won multiple businesses in the wedding industry. I have a wedding gown shop, a decoration company, a makeup company, but all were shut down and I was in desperate need of looking for another venue for doing what I need you to do.

And at that time, I'm pretty sure I cried for about two weeks before my partner. my new partner have suggested me, why don't you look into the coaching world? And before that, when I was going for trauma therapy, she or my trauma therapist also suggested that this is some area that you can look at because you are quite inspirational. And I'm like, really?

Is that really me? I can inspire another person because at that time, I have never told anyone what happened behind me. They see me as a successful entrepreneur and I'm on stage talking to thousands of makeup artists and I'm traveling all over the world to do my makeup job. But then no one knows the story behind me. I was a woman that has been in silence for over 30 years and I was the greatest pretender.

I pretend that everyone, everyone is ok. I pretend that I was happy. I pretend that I was living a good life. But inside of me, I was rotten. I was lonely. I was sad and I feel like that I was so depressed into that stage that I don't want to live more than 60 years old because I thought that was enough. So on my 40th birthday, I make a decision. What do I want in the 20 years that I have left?

I wanted to find my happiness. I wanted to find someone that I can live with that I have care and love and passion. So I decided on my 40th birthday to walk out for my abuse and marriage and start my life over. So that's how my journey started of self development and learning about how do I use the confidence it work to inspire other women as well as a makeup artist.

We see women at their most insecure moment. Every single woman that sit in front of me will tell me the points that they don't like about themselves. My eyes is too small, my nose is too big. My face is too fat. That's all the comments that I hear. But in front of me, there's this beautiful unique woman, but they haven't got the confidence to see it by us putting makeup on them, it makes them feel better.

They think that they have a leaf and a change. But the truth is all I did was bringing out their natural beauty so they can see it as well. I'm so proud of myself for making a business in the coaching world because now I cannot just only help people on the outside of giving them the confidence back using makeup, but I also help them from the inside.

So they feel good about themselves every single day with or without makeup. Makeup to me is just a tool if you want them, put them on and make you feel better. But if you don't, you don't have to wear it like a mask that you hide from the world because your beauty come from within that is and thank you for that.

Jenn Junod

That is something that I committed to for myself is for this podcast. I'm just gonna show up of how I feel that day. There are days where I feel like doing a ton of makeup and putting on my fake eyelashes and there's days that I'm gonna roll out of bed for somebody's interview. I'm gonna be like, hey, I'm here. I'm ready for this one thing that I, you helped me figure out how to put into words what I felt many years ago and I felt so alone when this happened.

I was working my way up at the company I was working at and I was able to get a job where it took me international for three months and I was the thinnest I had ever been. My hair was beautiful. I had extensions. I was traveling the world. I was getting all the coolest photos. I spent my 30th birthday in Paris. It was absolutely phenomenal and yet the loneliest moment and the unhappiest I have ever been and everyone was so jealous of me or so like excited for me or was so amazed that I got to

that point and I, I can't, I've always struggled explaining how empty it felt and how unfulfilled it felt. And when we had our intro call, that was the first time that I was like, whoa, that happens to everyone, including people that had all this fame or makeup. Like that is something I just learned how to do within probably since COVID. Like I knew how to kind of do my makeup, but I got into a murder makeup Mondays with Bailey Saran and she does her makeup and she does it tells a murder

story and which I mean isn't great because now everybody's into murder stories, but she got me going into makeup which that you're right. It was part of who I was like, it's, it was just a way to bring myself out yet. I had to learn that. Yes it gave me more confidence, but it wasn't like I wasn't something with without my makeup and I feel very fortunate starting to have these conversations because I seriously felt so alone during all of it.

And one thing that I really wanted to touch base on is your 40th birthday yet. I wanna rewind a little bit because there's a lot to unpack there of what went in, like how you ended up getting married and what happened in that relationship and how, how, and I would say why you hid it for so long.

Martha Mok

Hm. I got married when I was in Hong Kong for a holiday before my 21st. It was a three months holiday. I talked with my friend. I was staying with her and he was a friend that I met on the internet, that his friend and then we just got together and as a girl that who are desperately looking for love, desperately looking for attention, I've been bully all my life.

I haven't find my sense of belonging. So I was craving for other people's validation when he show up. Yes, he's not wealthy in any sense, but he's a good looking guy. He can sing. That was my only retirement at that time and he seems like kind and love animals. I thought, yeah, that will be the guy. And since I'm staying in Hong Kong, we may as well get married.

So within 2.5 months, I was married. That's what happened when you're 21. The first three months, I feel like that I was in heaven. I was love. I was treasure that I was happy. Not until about three months later, all the creepy call things starting to show he will constantly go out for drinking. He will not come home for days. I would sit down at the bus stop waiting for him to come over at 34 o'clock in the morning.

And I become even more desperate. I become even more needy. I didn't like that person that I was in at that moment. So a lot of the time I try to get out from that marriage, especially when I moved back to Australia after being in Hong Kong for three years, I miss my family too much. I don't have a lot of friends in Hong Kong. So I was really going into a cycle of constantly feeling.

I'm not enough. I'm not good enough and he can be quite a violent person when he's in a bad mood. So he will tell me that are like, you know, you're not worth anything, you're not worthy and things like that. One of the reason that I stepped out from the marriage was that he constantly told me I was not enough. And the one sentence that hit me the hardest was that I was not worthy.

I was not worthy of his love, his attention, his nice word to me. So all I get is crap. All I get is his violence. All I get was his cool words. I thought that was my problem. I thought that I wasn't being the good wife. I constantly working constantly, not at home because I don't want to, I travel a lot so I don't see him a lot. And then we just said, like, become separated.

It's like living in a situation that you don't sleep together, you have no intimacy. We were living like housemaid for four years before I pulled the park. But at that time, in my mind, what I was scared of was being alone. I was overweight. I'm older, I'm not that pretty, pretty and I was worried that no one else was accept me as the way that I am because I've been told that on those labels that I put on myself.

I'm not pity enough. I'm not a good cook. I'm not a good cleaner. I'm not caring enough. I'm needy. All that kind of labels that people put in you as an Asian girl. We've been told that we supposed to be a good daughter, good sister, good wife, put your head down and just do your work. That's our culture. So when pop comes, I didn't know I could ask for help.

I didn't know that I could get other people's support in getting out of my situation. I was scared to tell everyone the more successful I become the more violent and distant he become. I remember that I have all this success and I go home, I'm looking at my empty house and I have my cat. Thank God for that. And I'm like, why do I work so hard for? What is the meaning of life?

Yes, I have the Louis Vuitton that I want. So I went into Paris. So I eat fine dining all the time. So it doesn't bring me happiness. It bring me a moment a cloud of freedom, but it doesn't bring me the happiness that I was looking for recently. It was my birthday in July. I was looking at the photo that I was taken on Facebook with the Facebook memory.

And I see for the past 10 years that I have been by like married, all the photo that I post up on my birthday was all the luxury things, all the goods that I have. But there was no one photo of me smiling in front of a camera. Not until I met my current partner, we've been together for almost a year and nine months now. Even on my birthday, he has, he's a navy, so he's on deployment.

So even on my birthday that he's not here physically, he sent me a song using whatsapp. He sent me Wishing me Happy Birthday and I took a smile of myself. I was in the snow at that day. I didn't have any makeup on. I was wearing a hat and my nose was completely wet. But I got this beautiful, gorgeous smile on me. So I took a photo of myself and put it on Facebook.

So this year exactly the same. He wasn't here and worse come to worse is I'm in lockdown. So I got no family that was able to come to me and I still was able to take a photo and put it back onto Facebook. And I put a post like that. I say, wow, how much I have grown in these two years during this time, I have three years now since my divorce. During this time, I have find something that I never even dreamed to have before.

I found my sense of belonging with me. My partner gave me the sense of belonging next to him, but I don't belong to him. I feel happy around him and I find my sense of belonging within me. I'm allowed to be loud. I'm allowed to be sexy. I'm allowed to be confident. That's the woman I am. And he gave me that permission to do so. Yes, I know that we don't need other people's validation.

But when you're with someone, it was an incident that we went into a drag queen hotel to look at some of the drag queen show. It was one of the best night of my life because my ex husband would tell me even my own parent will tell me not to allow don't shy, don't do too much. You're just supposed to sit there and quietly do your thing. Eat your food a certain way.

Your knife supposed to be this way, your forks supposed to be that way. There was no freedom. This time we're at the Imperial Hotel. Me and my partner, his name is Malcolm. I was dancing on the dance floor. I was shaking my hand when I was on the table. I was shaking boobies with the dancer. It was the most loud moment I ever had in my life. And I look at him. He didn't call me that I was too loud.

He didn't said that I wasn't sassy enough. He didn't cause me that I'm an embarrassment. Like what I was told always he allow me to be me. I found my sense of belonging to who I am when I'm next to him. So I'm so grateful for him to allow me to find that thing that I always dream of, but never was able to find my security, my safety and my sense of belonging within me.

Jenn Junod

I love that and who. There's just, there's so much to unpack there and you, I love how relatable your story is in, in the fact of I don't even know where to start your first off. You are absolutely beautiful and I love for the intro call. You didn't wear any makeup and you just brought yourself and your energy is, it's so impactful. Just the, just your being.

And first I just need to start with that, the I get being told that you're unworthy and those type of things. I grew up with those type of things as well with physical abuse too. And you said your ex husband got violent. it's a type of thing that I as well got married. I was 20 I got divorced when I was 22 because I found that my now ex husband was, he basically didn't really do anything.

And I myself found that I became very, very motherly and that wasn't my role. I was the role of we should have been equal. Not that I needed to be motherly in that entire situation and fast forward. Oh, goodness, almost eight years later. And I met my current partner. It was actually right before I went to Europe, for my three month trip there.

And I actually broke up with him while I was in Europe because I didn't know how to be loved. Like I, he always treated me and still does treat me with kindness and give me that safety that you talk about and allows me to be me. And that was, I never felt that before in a relationship. I always, I felt like I had to become whoever they wanted to me to be.

I became more of like a chameleon. And a few months after I got back from Europe, we started dating again and I was like, so I don't know what I like and don't like. So you can find out as I find out, I thought I liked off Roading, which is very popular here in the US and I definitely don't, it gives me way too much anxiety and he's like, oh OK. And the fact that I love that you were dancing so much, like, if I ever visit Australia, I'm gonna be hitting you up, Martha so we can go to a drag show

together like, yes, 100%. And this relationship that I'm in, this is the first time that that Tyler's like, oh, this relationship with Tyler, he's like, you wanna go to drug show with your friends? Cool. Go, he's not interested in it, but he's like, do whatever you want. And when I had my brain surgery last year, we were together at that point about three years.

And the most humbling experience is he had to bathe me because, like I had a scar like all the way through here that I can't wash my hair. I'm still like super everywhere and it didn't faze him like he barely remembers doing it. And it's one of the most impactful things I've ever had in my relationship and, and so humbling and also creating such a space of safety of he's not guilty me for it.

He's not hanging over my head and it was the first time. And because of him, I also can let go and drink more and not. Yes, there are times when I drink too much that I still get the downward spiral and he ends up with a hot mess of tears that by the morning he doesn't guilt me on it. He just says you good. Yeah, you need, you know, water. and he doesn't guilt me for how I showed up the night before. And that is so powerful, allowing people to be themselves.

And yet what I really took away from a lot of what you were saying is we need to be able to find ourselves first too. And one thing I really wanted to ask you about is let alone your story itself is so difficult to, to work through and find that confidence. Do you think that growing up in the Asian community that made it so much harder to save face and hide that from your community? Yeah.

Martha Mok

Yes. It's not easy when you are always been told that you shouldn't shine too much. You shouldn't like be the top of the center because they're, they're protecting. They are worried that you will get into troubles. So they try to keep you to be not to be seen. But I'm always been a rebel. I know I'm different from day one. I know that I'm loud. I'm just happy.

I know that I'm different to a lot of people So eventually you're starting to do your own way. And I think that by not living with my parents from a very young age, it helps to develop your own sense of confidence as well. Even that I was in an abusive marriage, it doesn't mean that I wasn't successful in my work. And my work always bring me a lot of joys and confidence.

I just don't have confidence in all the area, which is like all of us, we will have some insecurity in some area. We will have other things there as well. But by knowing that what you're really good at and put your energy into it, that's what will make a difference. A lot of us try to please other people when we are trying to improve ourselves. It's like, oh he, he doesn't want me to do that.

OK, let me go and learn how to do cooking or to impress him or let me go and do other stuff to, to, to, to make other people feel better, but we don't ask ourselves. So what we are truly good at? What am I really good at? What would make me happy? What is my passion when you find that passion in you, everything's starting to change. Everything's starting to say, hey, OK, let me focus on what I'm really good at.

But in return on investment when you are doing what you really excel in is actually 300%. But when you are trying to be something that you are not, then you try to work hard on it to get it. Your internal investment is only 30 to 40%. That's the truth. It is coming from a monk in Japan that he written a book about it. So that book really inspired me to let me know that, hey, you know what if I focus on what I'm really good at all, the other things will come.

It's like, I know the one thing when I started my coaching that I know that I wanted to be a confident coach or success coach because I am successful in the area of what I'm doing good at. And then I, and then my partner Malcolm, he actually said, why don't you call yourself a super confident coach? I'm like, really, I can do that. Not so sure. And the truth is, yes, it does take your time to actually realize how good you are.

So give yourself that time in three months time. I own it. I own that title because I can see other people. How much confidence do they still need? That's what I can feel like that. Wow, that's the difference that I can make in other people's world. I'm not saying that I'm mother Teresa or Dalai Lama or anyone like that. I'm just Martha. I'm just someone that who may be one or two chapters in front of another person.

I'm not trying to help Bill Gate, I'm just trying to help the person that who needs my help, who is one page or two page behind us. And that's all I wanted to do. And knowing that it takes away a lot of those pressure and the imposter syndromes that we have as well. Because as a good person, a compassionate person, we had that thinking that we always wouldn't give our best to everyone, but we don't actually realize what we are giving is already the best.

What we are giving out is already value. So we have to start learning to value ourselves, value our time, value our energy. If not, no one else will see you as a value. So that's the one key learning that I have learned in life.

Jenn Junod, Martha Mok

I question on that.

Jenn Junod

I even for myself and I, I feel like there's a lot of people out there that could relate is I one thing that I have found my entire life is I'm really good at people. People are my jam. And that's a weird thing because that's not something that there's not a job title saying, hey, you are great at people. You, it doesn't exist. I wish it did. And something that I found that I was good at is customer service and sales, not while I was in sales the entire like 12 years.

I've, I've been in sales and now I'm in learning and development, which is so exciting to have that change and actually be able to build people up sales. I I always sold in the fact of if people actually needed it. I was like, cool, let me know yet. I always felt so dirty. Being in sales. I don't think people in general like sales is dirty yet. It didn't feel like the right fit for me.

So therefore, even though I was good at it, like I excelled, no matter what company I went to, I, I received so many rewards. That was a big reason I was able to go to Europe. And yet even in that job and what I was good at, I felt so empty. So how would you suggest to individuals how to be able to like self identify that and work through that?

Martha Mok

Hm Firstly, understanding what your passion is, what you're good at may not be what you're passionate about. They will be something related to it. For example, if I use you as an example, you're in sales, which means that you are connecting to people. People don't buy a product, people buy from people. The product is the secondary thing. So you are passionate in people.

So that links you into the sale. And that's what makes you a good salesperson. It's because you don't just look at the end result, the product itself, you look at people and you care about them and that's the reason that how you actually bring onto it and I understand that empty feeling when you are saying that, oh, I don't feel like that I'm fulfilled it.

It is a mindset thing that we sometimes do things that satisfy the bank account. That's the first thing maintaining a lifestyle that we're on. But we may not be something that we truly, truly love. And what I say is, guess what? Your job title is not a tattoo. You can change it any day you want if you want to go for it. Of course, be sure that you have safe have a financial boundary for you to go and do that, but go and do it.

I'm 4040 years old when I changed my career into doing coaching, I know nothing about it. Everything is just learning and then I become a six figure coach in last year. So I'm very excited about that within 12 months. I make that goal but I didn't get there because I know how to sell. I didn't get there because because I was the best coach in the world I got there because of my caring and genuine love for people, which is where my passion is.

I want to help people in the best way I can. So understanding where your passion is, you can eventually align with what you're doing at the end. So more and more and it's ok to change like five, like an average person will change their career. 5 to 86 times. So that's completely normal. And every time you change your career you will find that. Oh, I like that more.

That's something that I don't like about it. Ok. Now go and look for sign, just like men. Ok? You don't like this one and then you find what you don't like and then you go and find the next one. That's just how it is. It's not a tattoo even. That is a marriage that you are, you can get out to which I wish I know that a long time ago. But you know what you can get out.

I thought that marriage is such a sacred thing, such a commitment that I don't want to break out until it was very, very late until that I couldn't take it anymore. And I wish that I knew a long time ago. But the universe always look after me. I always say that if I was divorced a few years earlier, I will not meet my current partner at the moment. If everything are meant to be just the way you are, the one thing that I will start changing to attract more good things that you want in your life.

Because based on the law of attraction, if some of you understand that law of attraction is what attract to our emotion is actually about the feelings that we have the vibration that we give out. So we always get what we ask for. And when things comes to you. There's no good or bad. There's only how your vibration is to receive it. For example, if I have a box of lollies, is that good or bad?

Sugar is bad for you is really bad for you. Please don't have a sugar is terrible or it will give me an instant leave. I'm tired. I need the energy. I learn the sugars to keep me going. Give me a mood boost, boost up. So nothing is good or bad is depending on how we see it and how we choose to do it. So I give everyone a little tip. If you wanted to find out, what do you truly want?

Why a list for yourself? I call it the contrast list. So you first have the contrast of what I don't like. So why down 10 points of what you don't like in your life list it all out and afterwards do a one of what do I want and when you're doing it because I did the exercise recently and you will find that the at about eight or nine is starting to go into a very personal level.

At first, it will be all surface level and then afterward it will go into a more personal level because you're asking the same question. So it's like peeling an onion, you go deeper and deeper and then I saw what do I want? Because the reset button in law of attraction is when you ask and get what you want. So that's what it means. So why don't, what do I want?

I want money. I want abundance. I want like I don't want to be poor. I want abundance and wealth. I don't want to look at my bank account with fear. I want to look at my bank account with excitement. So all of those that you can actually choose the more you practice on what I want and avoid free words. Don't. No and not because when you say I can't be cause that is a limiting belief right there.

That's just a limiting belief because there's no such thing as I cannot because there's just a limiting belief. So think about that, what can I do? Just like the like you say, the part part of Olympics, look at how amazing those athletes are that this, they have this ability, but look at the achievement that they got. So there's no such thing that as I can, it says, how are we going to use the resources we have at the moment to maximize it and also our desire into something and the doubt

that we have to something if we have 10 hour, 10 desire for something, but we equal it with doubt. We have so much doubt that will cancel out the desire and law of attraction will only give you hard work. So you keep working and working and working, having no result because of your disbelief. It will cancel any good thing it comes in. It's like, oh, I'm asking for some sweetness today. What you gave me a lolly that will give me weight.

So that is adult right there to cancel out all the good things that comes into you. So you always have to remember when you want something to come into you, you must have the desire but zero doubt. The less thought that you have in your life, the more abundance at the more instant manifestation will come into you. That is the basic of law of attraction.

Jenn Junod

I love that. And do you mind if I look at my phone really quick because my career coach back in October, November actually had me do this and that was a big thing that he said was, and he actually had me write out what didn't work so that way he could help me change the mindset of to what's working. So, being undermined, I hated that. So I changed it to, I want to have my own say like my voice to be heard.

Another one is change management is a don't and I could easily not working. And I can say I want to work with a company that really handles change. And it's really cool how within months that type of job actually worked out. And it was crazy because I told him I was like, hey, you know, I wanna make X amount. And he even was like, you know, that might be a little, a little far a there's a little out of range and I'm like, ok, whatever.

But that, this is what I really want to do. And I believe, you know, I'll get there and funny enough I did and I succeeded in that. And for myself, I can only look back at when I started my self development journey. I, before that time and even for years during self development, I would completely deny that anything was possible. It would be to that your mindset or what you were saying about that mindset.

I can't do that. I don't deserve that. That was a really big thing for me. And a lot of people could see that I had conf confidence but not worthiness and I was afraid of success, which I was, I never knew what that felt like. That was terrifying. And I hear you, it's crazy how for myself in the way I started changing my mindset very slowly was instead of just the don't you I want was because that seemed too scary to me for some reason.

I don't know why it was, it was way too scary. I started keeping a gratitude journal and just writing three things. I'm grateful for each day. And I also do that. I don't do it all of the time like I'm currently not doing it, but I, I do it when I'm feeling a lull. So when things are going really bad, I restart it because that is a very simple thing to get started on changing my mindset of like today.

I'm so grateful that you are my first interview. I would, I was so nervous this morning. It is, the art interview started at 7 a.m. My time. Is it like 11 pm? Your time? Is it sorry? Is it like 11 pm, New York time?

Martha Mok

Yeah, 1140. But it's ok. I've been late and all of that. I'm really ok. I actually function better. Ok.

Jenn Junod

Well, I'm glad because I our interview is 7 a.m. my time. I woke up at 430. So excited and it's, it's so powerful being able to get excited about it and waking up so early to get excited and, but all of that started with a gratitude journal for myself.

Jenn Junod, Martha Mok

So I could move on to exactly what you're talking about of changing what I don't want to, what I do want exactly like good at true is such a big thing.

Martha Mok

It's about learning how to find the gratefulness and the wisdom from the things that you've been through. A lot of us. Get hold back from our past, all the experience that we went through. All the pain that we went through. There's two ways into looking at it. You can choose to see it in a light that what did I learn from? It. What is the wisdom I learn from it?

And some people may say, oh, how can you find wisdom and learning from anything I wanted to share this story with you guys. When I was doing N LP new linguistic programming, I was doing timeline therapy with the timeline therapy. There was something that I was doing. It was about going back into where I experienced fear for the first time. And it was the moment my father used a knife to step onto my hand.

All I can see was my vein was green and blue. My blood was wet. I was like at the age of about three or four, that was the only thing I remember. And that was the first moment I experienced free. And the trainer at that time asked me. So what is your positive learning from that? I'm like ABC DEFG. Are you really kidding me? How do I find it? Like someone just stabbed me?

Are you, are you OK? Like, are you insane? Like wanting me to find positive learning in that? But I tried. So I said, I'm a good person. We got a good relationship now. It shouldn't be too bad and da da, da, da, da da. All of that. The last sentence I said was I'm in control. Wow, that woke me up immediately. I immediately realized that yes, I'm not able to control the past.

I can't control that situation, that little girl right there. I can't go back to protect her. I can't pretend the future from happening because it hasn't happened. And all I can do is to control this very moment, this mindset that I have and to realize that I'm in complete control of every single decision I make. After the call, I immediately texted my partner.

I said Malcolm baby, I need to tell you that I finally got my control back before that timeline therapy moment. I was going for another three months of depression after my cat died. What was worse was that my ex husband came back and blame me for my cat's death saying that I'm the worst person in the world how she died and it was all my fault and my cat is my baby.

I don't have a daughter. So she's the closest thing I have to a daughter for me. So when she passed away, I was going through so much grief and I was in a state that I was functioning like a zombie. So I wasn't in control of anything. I just like let life goes by every single day, just go and do what it is. Go to sleep, wake up, cry, do this, do that after that moment that I find my control.

I told Malcolm and say baby, I got my control back. I was living like a zombie for the last three months. I don't feel like I don't have the will of living. I feel like that my world is gone because my baby is gone. But this moment I realized that I cannot hold on to the past. I need to celebrate her life, celebrate the memories that we have and I need to look forward because I am not just living for me.

I'm living for the memory of her. She wants me to feel good and feel better too. That's how she had been protecting me. So I need to live for her. I need to celebrate for her. So that's when the moment I realized that, hey, you know what, no matter what situation you have in life. Yes, I have been stabbed from my own dad and yeah, I've been sexually molested.

what I was like, you know, abusive marriage being bullied, all of those things. You will find a positive learning from it. As long as you're willing to let go surrender and allow yourself to don't judge yourself when you're doing this process. There's no self criticism, there's no judgment. You just need to allow yourself to let the emotion go and realize that guess what the past is a history is not what you are today.

You have complete control of making the decision right now to do what you need to do on what's coming to you. So that's how I see it live as now that I understand the difference between care and control. A lot of us go to that stage that we care so much for other people but not so much in ourselves. So what do we do if this is very nice. Have it because I tell you is so good.

Have it because I say it's really good for you. And I tell you this is really good to have. What do we just do there? I turn myself from care, wanting to share, to controlling the other people, wanting to do what I give them. So that's something that I like to share with everyone to give ourselves a check, a trigger when we push too much? Ask ourselves, are we truly caring or are we starting to go into the controlling side?

That helps me as so many instances in work in my relationship, in my self worth. I realized that, you know what, I can't control everything. I can't control other people's belief. I can't control their values. But what can I control with myself? So I control myself in my controlling. I allow things to happen in the way that is supposed to be and I respect other people model of the world. Yes. This practice will be uncomfortable at first.

But the more you do it, the more you realize, you know what the world is not such a bad place. People are not as bad as they seem. It's only because they have a reason they have an experience that they're scared to change. We all experience that in one time. So let's be more compassionate about what their needs are and allow ourselves to help without judgment, without control, but full of respect.

Jenn Junod

100% agree. And holy bananas your dad stabs your hand. And that is as something that I'm learning with all the intro calls and then also now doing the interviews is giving people the space to share their stories and yet not take on the emotion for it because like that is something that I'm even hearing it now. I'm like, holy shit. What, what do you even do when that happens?

Because that's not something I've been through or to your point, like, how do I learn something about it? Like, how would you learn through that experience and how to let go in, in myself? That's something that I really, really struggled with is letting go. I, I actually would go to, psychics to get like a tarot reading or something like that and they would always tell me, well, you haven't let go, you haven't let go.

And I'd be like, yes, I have, I've totally like it. I'm fine and a lot of it was, I was suppressing so much of it that I had no idea. And that I really disassociated myself in the fact that when I was locked away in my room, I was by myself and, you know, that's unforgivable. And that was a big thing. Once I had my brain surgery, it resurfaced all of the all of the trauma. I thought I dealt with it.

Martha Mok

You just went off screen?

Jenn Junod, Martha Mok

Oh, am I back yet?

Martha Mok

I can't see your image but I can hear you. Well, ok.

Jenn Junod

That's weird. That's happened a few times for you too where I could hear you fine, but I couldn't see you. So, I'm not sure. I, maybe it's the internet, especially since it is the morning.

Jenn Junod, Martha Mok

I may have to look at it has been, yeah.

Martha Mok

Oh, it says that your video has been disabled due to internet quality issue.

Jenn Junod

Oh, great. Well, then they're not going to see this video.

Martha Mok

Is we still record it. So that's all right. That means that they got it on your side and that's what's important.

Jenn Junod

Very, very true. This is all new technology for me too. And thank you for was it very, just on that point? Was it very hard for you to get into the recording software? Was it difficult for you to get into the recording software?

Martha Mok

It was easy. It was, it wasn't hard at all. Normally people use stream yard. This one is a new, you're back, you're back. Like normally people use stream yard, but this one, it's a new one that I saw. So I don't really understand the technology, but your internet connection has been really, really blurry and then it has, it has a lot of lag. So it was, it was, yeah, that's why if I didn't respond. I just couldn't hear you.

Jenn Junod

Well, thank you and good feedback. And then I may look in what you said it was called Stream Yacht.

Martha Mok

Yes. Stream Yacht is another one that people use a lot. Otherwise we just use Zoom most of the time, but Stream Yacht is really nice. You can do title, you can do subtitle, you can do a lot of the stuff and you have different view as well. So Stream Yacht, the one that a lot of people go to now.

Jenn Junod

Ok, I'll check that one out too for future ones. So thank you for testing this one out. I did a test yesterday, but that's weird that how much the internet is.

Jenn Junod, Martha Mok

I'll see how the final comes out and maybe if we need to record again, it's completely fine with me.

Martha Mok

It doesn't trouble me.

Jenn Junod

You are so sweet. You are like, I, I can't, I, I don't know how to explain your vibe. Like it's, it's like so calming and yet like exciting at the same time. Like I'm like, ok, Martha is super chill like she's like open for anything and yet at the same time I'm like we got this, let's go get hyped up, hyped up.

Martha Mok

It's good. It's good. I, I I'm actually a very high pole person so I have to learn to control my vibration that I'm not too overwhelming for other people. So it was something that I have to learn because I'm this kid that is on Energizer bunny. People call me a train, a train before because I was just like, oh, wanting for everywhere.

So now I have to learn to control my vibration and control my speed and I find that people find that a little bit more calming, a little bit easier to accept. So it's good. It depends on what situation I'm doing. But trust me, I'm the hypo kid. I love that. I'm the one that will have too much sugar.

Jenn Junod

I've actually been told that before as well. And people have called me a bulldozer where they're like, Jen, like you are a driver yet. Sometimes you come off where you just like go without anybody. It's like care in the world and I'm like, oh, I'm not trying to do that thing though.

Martha Mok

It is a good compliment.

Jenn Junod

It is. It is. So I've been learning as well on yeah, like how to not necessarily like bulldoze yet, like take a step back and allowing people to join the party and step on the train instead of just, you know, going solo.

Jenn Junod, Martha Mok

So that is something that I, which, which I totally agree with you.

Martha Mok

And we have the same similar experience because I'm such a high energy person that I need to learn to come down and mimic people's vibration. That's what I said. If you want to build a rapport with them, what you want to do. First thing is not to be hired at them is about mimicking their vibration so they can actually feel related to you. So you like, I don't walk out as like I'm Tony Robbins or anything like that. I walk out as Martha Mok as me as the person that, who I'm speaking to, that I mimic

their vibration as they go. So it helps to build that rapport as well and to make everyone at ease and have that comfortable feeling. Because at the end of the day, it's about connection. It's about energy exchange. That's what we're doing, not just information but energy as well. We want to transfer the best part of us. And what is the best part is when we are most comfortable in the state we're in.

Jenn Junod

And I'm so excited because I am going to be having a few healers. So where they actually focus on energy and a few people that also work on chakras and it's where I like to tell people, it's bringing Eastern medicine and Western medicine together because people's energy is something that is very scientific that we can see in Western medicine is just not quantifiable. So thinking of it in Eastern medicine, it makes it a lot easier for people to kind of consume.

Yet a lot of people still think of it as to fru fru or woo woo or you know, out there like it, it doesn't exist and I love how it's starting to change again where yoga has become so normal that meditation and working on our energy has also become so normal as an empath. I have to consciously, oh, go ahead.

Martha Mok

Yeah, because that's what I was never thought that I'm a spiritual person and from the start. But then everyone tell me as I don't do yoga, I don't do meditation. I don't understand all of that. Don't even know what you're talking about about Chaka and all of that. And then the more people I connected with, the more spiritual I become and more understanding I have about intuitive intelligence.

Like, as a matter of fact, I'm actually going to do a course very soon about intuition intelligence to increase my memories to increase the way that I perform as well. So that would 10 X your life into a different level. So I'm like, wow, that's very interesting using the energy for cleaning my charcoals doing that. I have that lady was checking out for me of the size of my charcoal.

And and she said that I have quite a large truck like about 1.3 m when normally people are about half meter big. So I have quite a large ones that allows me to give out the energy I have. And I'm the same. I go to psychics and things like that. And a lot of them said that, wow, you have a really good energy and you. Oh, thank you. I thought that I was just someone that's happy.

Like I will walk into a shop like a health food store, especially that lady will just talk to me and say, wow, you got really good energy. I'm like, oh thank you. Like I just say it that way because I'm humble to have that energy and I didn't know that at that time that I can actually embrace that energy to help other people. I don't know how to transfer.

Don't know all of those stuff, but it's about just being kind. It's about being authentic. It's about understanding that everyone have their good day and bad day and support, give them lots of support and some people, no matter how much support you give them, they may not receive it because, but that's not your problem. That's their belief that is their world, their path and their journey. What you can do is only to stay in your lane and do the best that you can.

You can't please everyone in the world. You can take it on as a challenge, but you can't please everyone in the world because sometimes no matter what you do, it will never be enough for that person. But guess what? That's not your insecurity. That is their insecurity. So don't let their insecurity call on to you, shake it off and let you be you.

Jenn Junod

I love that. And as you were saying, it, it reminded me back to giving people energy or trying to control their energy and giving. It means that they're open to receive it. You're not forcing them to take it. So it's open to receiving versus taking. And that is something that I'm also very curious about is how do you take care of yourself to be able to give everyone else their energy like to be able to show up as this super energetic person. How do you recharge?

Martha Mok

I try not to work more than 3 to 3.5 days a week because I do work long hours. Like I've been online since eight o'clock this morning. This is almost 12 midnight here. So I would do very long hours, but only on three days. And then after that, I will just give myself some time off. Like I am very blessed that I live across the world from the beach. So I get to go and have a walk now every now and then even at night time is quite lied.

So I can go down to the beach and just to absorb some of the nature energy there. I'm not really a tree person. I have a little bit of a phobia of insect. So I'm not really like chi hacking type but the beach, I do love another things that I will look after myself is that watch what you wanted to eat. And if you really want to have that piece of chocolate, just go and have it, but just don't have it every single day.

Ok? Give yourself limits, but also give yourself freedom because food makes you happy. Food makes you very, very happy. People are very depressed when they don't eat properly. So look after yourself in what you eat. Look after yourself, if you want to do some exercise, which I'm starting to, I never done it before but wanted to do that, but do that sort of thing, not to lose weight, not to, look better for another person.

Do it because you want to feel better about yourself. And when you understand that everything you do, if that will become a self medication, it's like I am so tired today. I wanted to go out to the beach and just have the wind go into my head, which I did yesterday as a, oh, I feel really good or I feel so stuck at work. I'm just going to watch an episode of Netflix.

So do that allow yourself to do that. Life is about having fun. It's not about stuck in a corner and doing that same thing over and over again because that's called boredom. That's not our human needs, our human needs some uncertainty, some excitement to keep us going. So give yourself to that if you are, especially in relationship. Ok, I believe that of creating little excitement.

Plan little dates for your partners to go into like I organized two dates like one to a restaurant that they have. I heard that they were very rude writer. That's what they're famous for. So I actually booked in for a date for that and then I book in a s in Wonderland tea party with his daughter as well that we're going to go there. Some surprises that you can do is not going to cost you a lot of money.

But it's something that you guys do that are different to your life because we all get bored with every day, work, come home, sleep, eat. What else can you do? So add some excitement, do something that you don't normally do, even if you're not willing to spend a dollar, then go out to the beach, go out to the garden, go out to somewhere that is different to what you are.

If you normally just walk around of this block, go and walk around another block, go and do different directions of walking with your partner and like with a dog, that's perfect things to do all of the things that you can do to make your life different. People have so much resources. We just underestimated how creative we can be and creativity doesn't cost a lot of money.

And another thing to say is if I don't spend it on myself where I'm going to spend it to all that money in the bank is not gonna make me happier. I want to use the money to create memories that I can make myself feel happier. So that's how I see with my relationship with money.

Jenn Junod

I, I can relate to a lot of that. And the fact that for me to do self care is I do like the trees. I love to be able to take off my shoes and be in nature. That is something I'm in Colorado, in the US. I'm no longer in Arizona and Arizona was the desert. So it was always too hot and I couldn't touch anything in the views. As beautiful as they are. Just didn't vibe with me.

And now that I'm in Colorado, I like the snow now, which I used to hate and I like the green and being able to really communicate with nature, I could say and I love the beach. I wish I lived near a beach one day because putting my feet in the water is such a relaxing. it makes me feel so that the world is so much bigger than I am. And my, my dog is, coming to hang out.

She was asleep the entire time and now she's up doing something and a lot of it is learning our own self care and yes, self care does 100% to what you were saying, goes to relationship care because I've for myself and, and Tyler and I, we, it's so much give or take, give and take. There's times where I need much more of his support to around the house or taking care of the dogs and he needs so much support, like he needs more support in certain things. And what he always reminds me of is it's

not a tit for tat, as he would say, it's, you know, it doesn't have to be equal. As long as we're both putting into like the love box. It, we can support each other in different ways and which I love in the fact of, to your point earlier, I'm not the best cook and, I don't clean very well. I'm not, no, not something. That's my forte of cleaning or cooking. I wish it was. I've tried. I'm not even very good at either.

Martha Mok

Me too. Hi. Five girls. I get a cleaner to come in once a month to actually do the big cleaning.

Jenn Junod

Very smart, very smart.

Martha Mok

That's self care. You know, because I hate cleaning but doesn't mean I'm messy. I am, I'm quite tidy but still I don't, I like someone to go and do the big job. Like I don't want to scrap in toilet. That's the truth. So let someone else do it. It's no problem. Like I like help another, like the industry for going help another family. But, and I can afford it then why not?

Because I deserve, it doesn't mean I'm wealthy. It just means that I deserve that care and love. I rather pay someone $200 to do all the chores than me spending six hours cleaning the house. Ok. Not interested in that. And on the six hours I can do so much more thing I can make the money back. So I want to do that than the other way around.

Jenn Junod

And that's something I think a lot of people really don't think about is how much are you worth? Like, how much is your time worth such as I know for the podcast editing, it could be like, it could cost me like $500 a month or more for somebody else to edit my podcast for me where I have the experience so I can do it in an hour and keep it up myself instead of having someone else pay it. Yet. There's other things where I'm like, I don't know how to do that.

Like graphic design. I have a gentleman named Drew who does a fantastic job at all of the graphic design, but I don't know how to do that. That would have taken me like a year to figure out and that's something he's so good at that. I knew it was worth my time to get someone else to do it instead of doing it myself. And I think that's something that is taken a lot of trial and error to figure that out.

Martha Mok

Yeah, I hear you there. I have four Ds that I follow. Do what delete delegate and defer. So I follow those four D. I love that.

Jenn Junod

That is so good. I, how do you choose which one goes in which like, how, what's your process of when you look at something to choose which g it goes to?

Martha Mok

I, it, depending on the urgency of it. How urgent is, is that that thing that it must do if I give it to someone else, is that going to be in the sense that I wanted? Because they will be moment and say, ok, it's like I'm building my online course at the moment, I would love for my va to upload all of those things up there, but it's not going to work because she doesn't know what page to go to what page.

But a time that I give them all the instruction most well, do it myself with the video together. So that's why I say, ok, that part of a task I couldn't do it, however I can give them on my workbook, make it editable. That's a different story. They can actually take your time to make sure all the boxes that I have are editable. That's a completely different job that they can actually do without me worrying about it.

So all of those things are what's going to help you to understanding, hey, value your time, value yourself. Give people things that they are really good at with a very low cost. Then as long as you can afford it, just let them do it because the sanity, the sanity that you're gonna get is so worth it. Ok? There's no point being this grumpy horrible person because you don't like doing something and your partner is not happy.

Your dog is not happy. Your cat is not happy. Just be the happy person. Let someone else do it. Like I'm not happy if I'm scrubbing the toilet so I get someone else to do it once a month then. Great. Don't have to worry about it. It won't be too bad. There's only two of us in here. So like, you know, we got free bathroom. So, ok, so I'm happy that, that I don't have to do that sort of thing.

It's like we've been in lockdown for such a long time. I haven't got someone to come in for about 2.5 months and then I finally got someone to come in and then my, my, my mental state is immediately better because the house is finally a fury. I got a cat. She's very furry. So it's fury. Everything else fine is just the fur. So I was like, I don't want to do it myself.

So it's great. You get someone to help you and a lot of, a lot of mom especially that they feel like that. Oh, cleaning the house is my job and I feel guilty that if I hire someone else to do it, I have a friend that literally hire a cleaner but don't let the husband know about it. like for the big kid. Yeah, because she was scared that, oh, I'm a housewife and I have to do everything myself.

A housewife is a very busy job. You have the kids to look after. You have the house. You have ABC de managing your husband's life. This, this, this and that. Get someone else to give you a hand. There's nothing wrong to ask for help. That's very important, especially if you want a business as well. Realize that your time is so valuable that you can use it to earn more money to pay for what you have to.

That is also a money mindset that I have. I always have this mindset that I control money, money doesn't control me. I let money flow into me and I work with money. So you take away the anxiety and the wariness of what happened if I spend that money and that money doesn't come in, you take that away. That's when the universe will continue to give it to you. Because when a univer sense that you're scared of spending, they're not going to give you more.

They're not going to, to, you're going to work 10 times as hard to get more. But when you are spending, you are actually transferring the energy out. Well, when we know that when we can give more will come in, when we give more will come in it will become a healthy cycles of what we do.

Jenn Junod

It sounds like changing that mindset from scarcity to abundance, which I, I personally think is one of the hardest mindsets to change and took me quite a while to change that mindset. going back to, I love your friend that hires a, a cleaner. That is amazing. And yes, stay at home moms or, you know, moms that work from home parents that work from home.

There is so much that goes into their jobs that I'm could only imagine. I don't have any Children. I have a dog and I think she's a lot. I, it, I, you mentioned for the two D's like the do and the delegate. What about the other two D's? Can you give us an example for those? So what did you just say? You gave us an example for, do it and delegate.

Jenn Junod 

Can you give us an example of the other two Ds, do a delegate and we call it differ.

Martha Mok

If things are not a priority, you don't need to do it right now. It's like, oh, I need to finish my workbook, but then I need to do a a I need to do this. I need to do that. There's all these needs here. You need to focus on finishing one thing at a time because if you don't finish one thing at a time, that list will never go down and you will constantly feel like that you're not enough.

So defer is another good one and delete. We always think that we need to be perfect when we're doing something. But what can we delete to release the pressure? Maybe we didn't need 10 cups. We can, we can actually do with eight. So what's the point of stressing yourself out for buying the extra two cups deleted into your list? Hey, you know what, I can actually use the cup without straws delete and don't worry about the straw, but it will make it look so pretty.

But what is the return on investment? I always said that as a as an entrepreneur, I always look at something called, what is the return on investment when I spend on something? Either time? My energy, my value money. What is the return on investment? Ok. What am I doing to get that investment back? So if I'm wasting time on something is like social media.

A lot of people say social media is such a place that you can lost track into it. You get sucked in into things. I'm like that's called control because you can control what you're seeing. I use social media as a platform for me to go and work. So I go in da da da, da da, finish what I have to work and bye bye and then I move on to do other stuff. Otherwise it's a choice of not staying in there and some people will say, oh, like, you know, it's meant to make you sucked into that.

That means that you are allowing it. So when you don't allow it, it won't happen. As simple as that. We all have a choice. Yes. It's like, like, except for, like, even for my cat, she knows that if I tell her not to do something, she knows she just still do it.

Jenn Junod

It's a choice and boundaries, which is a whole another topic we can get into and I know we only have 15 minutes left. So before I derail with other things, I so appreciate you coming on and talking not only about your past but how you started working through and changing your mindset, which starts with like the four Ds, which is I'm making sure I remember is do it, delete it, delegate and defer Yeah. Yeah. And I think that that's something that so many of us don't know where to start.

You said that I earlier that it was a realization on your 40th birthday. And I know for myself that there was so many small things that led up to these changes and for like when something big like that for myself, it was like one day I woke up and I knew that this was gonna be the change be. Is there anything else that you wanted to cover? That we didn't cover to make sure that I'm not missing out a part of your story that you would want our listeners to hear.

Martha Mok

I believe that I can go and talk for days about story because every single day things happen to you is already a story. So what I choose to do is just let the story be when there's, I will call it. If there's faith, then people will listen to it. If the vibration actually transfer to them, they will listen to it. So I'm happy in whatever I'm sharing and for anyone to actually be inspired by it because I wanted to let them know you don't need to be perfect, to be confident.

I am far from perfect. And I'm the biggest mistake creator, but I'm also a confident mistake creator that I'm confident enough to make mistake, learn from it and fight for another day because our life is about living to our best. I don't know, how long do I have? I hope there's definitely more than 20 years than I expected now that I'm so happy in my life.

So, but I still don't know what will happen tomorrow. All I can do is to lift my best way to the best way that I can. So if the universe decided to take me at that moment, that place, I have no regret that day that I'm happy to move on to the next stage of my life.

Jenn Junod

Thank you for that in one thing that I did wanna touch base on is something that I think is so powerful. And about your energy, you said that you're gonna be doing an intuition workshop. Is that gonna be virtual or is it in person?

Martha Mok

Oh It in person. It's not from like, no, I'm not doing it, but my, I'm going to a workshop like that. So that will be quite interesting to actually learn about it. What I'm doing actually is this Friday? I'm actually doing like I do workshop every two weeks to help people into different areas. So people who would like to follow me later, They're more than happy to actually see all the new workshop that I come up every two weeks that I have them on.

So I enjoy doing it is because I love giving, I love having other people onto the on S MS special guests as well. Coming to a class to learn a little bit about what they don't know because we don't know what we don't know. It's always lovely to go and explore areas. And I always said that a lot of us when we feel like that we're not enough, we tend to focus on one area and keep wanting to get better just like, oh, I don't know, social media.

So you keep learning about social media and you still think that that you're not good enough. The thing is I don't tend to do that. I tend to say, OK, I learn, wanted to learn this. I go and learn it. And then I say, ok, that's enough and then keep going. It's never going to be enough until you realize that I'm ok. And that, I feel like that I'm ok. I'm good enough now.

Then I can keep going to the, there's always going to be more opportunity for you to learn something. There's always going to be more opportunity for you to master something, just allow it to happen and things will come. just like a new system that I'm using at the moment, a computer system called Coach Box. And it's something that who will help me to run my business and replace 47 different apps.

And I'm loving it at the moment. I can build my own funnel, I can build my own website. And I was the most technology challenge person you ever met. I don't even know how to use Zoom. I call funnel a tunnel because I don't understand that. It took months for people to actually tell me what a, what a funnel is. And like I there was so much, ok? Which button to push?

Can you say that again? Like what button to push again? Like is that the yellow one or the green one you're talking about? So I was that bad into technology and using Coach Box, it gives me a lot of training, it gives me a lot of understanding and now I can build my own own funnel, own stuff, having trigger set up and I was even teaching my, my team on how to use the same platform.

And I'm like, and I was teaching someone in a similar platform but not the platform that I am on. And I'm like, I'm so proud of myself. I didn't deliberately go and learn it because that's not, that is one of my weakest area technology, but because I wanted to be confident in what I'm doing, which is my Excel point. I need to then go and just let us see and get, just, just allow it to come and look at me now, I can build my own stuff and I'm so proud of myself on that.

It didn't take me that long to and I was talking to the owner of Coach Box today is that you have come over. I've never seen anyone learn as fast as you. And I'm like, I think the difference is that I'm just allowing it to happen. I didn't focus on learning it. I just allow it and I make so much mistake.

It's like, ok, Joel for our next meeting, there's 13 question I'd like to ask about this. It's quite scary because I really don't know technology. So it was like, you just learn on the way and it's just having that confidence into asking and not feeling ashamed about it.

Jenn Junod, Martha Mok

That was a big thing that you say so many things I relate to.

Jenn Junod

I, I know for myself, I've had to work with many coaches that I will actually like write out a list before I meet with them because I'm like, I have so many questions. and that's a big part that I would. I'm also curious about is if anyone wants to reach out to you and work with you, how do they find you?

Martha Mok

The best thing is to go on Google and search for super confident coach. I'm the first one that comes out or search for Martha Mok Mock. I will give you guys a link as well, which I think I already did it with the link tree and all my social media platform. And why not share with you guys. My new book, it just been released today. So this is my six books that I have. So it's a new book called How To Be of The Secret of being a successful, a super confident career woman.

The secret of being a super confident, success, career woman. So I wanted to share with all of you and I will send you the link after this because I just created this morning. I just got a feeling that I wanted to create it and I just made it. I love it. That's just what happened to me all the time.

Jenn Junod

I love it.

Martha Mok

And yeah, I'm going to share that with you all. And I also want to give the opportunity for people to reach out for help when I was going for depression. I didn't know that I could ask for help. So that kept me in the dark for so long. That kept me in uncertainty for so long. So I wanted to give the opportunity to your listeners to reach out for help, to ask for her support.

I have no judgment. I don't criticize, I don't want to sell you anything. I just want the chance to connect with you. And if you decided to work with me later, that's completely up to you. I believe the unit first, we bring the things that you need to come and help you. So I wanted to give this opportunity to your viewers to come and join me on an empowerment session.

It's completely free. All I wanted to do is to allow you to know that there's no right time. But the time is now, if you wanted to start changing, you have a choice to make because a chance has been given to you. And now is your choice to change or to just stay in where you are right now?

Jenn Junod

100%. And thank you, Martha. Is there any words of encouragement? You would want our listeners to leave with leave with?

Martha Mok

I wanted to let everyone knows that you don't need to be perfect to be confidence. Confidence is something that you're born with. Ok. As a kid, you're fearless, you don't scare about everything because we learn out. We create our belief from what we experience what we hear from other people and what we seen, other people do. So that belief can be changed when you're allowing it to be changed.

It's not removing is different. We moving mean completely canceling out and I believe cannot be canceled out, however, it can be increased by learning a different way to it. So you shift that belief into something different, creating more flavors into that belief, giving you a better insight. So understand that we all have that ability doesn't matter.

You are three years old, doesn't matter that you are 80 years old. We all have that ability and it, despite our age, our sex, our nationality, nothing comes into that or intelligent level. It doesn't come in to do that. We all got that power to be confident. So use it, embrace it, allow it because the only person who's stopping you from becoming confident.

Jenn Junod, Martha Mok

Su So when you give yourself that permission to be confident, you are already more confident than the one second I go that is so powerful and thank you and thank you for being my first interview.

Jenn Junod

It was so nerve wracking. Thanks so much for having me. So hey, thank you for listening to Sh!t You Don’t Want to Talk About  and being a part of the change from Sh!t You Don’t Want to Talk About  to Shit2TalkAbout that being said, make sure to subscribe like share on all of our social medias. It is shit. The number two talk about, we're on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and on youtube and on youtube.

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