S1 E57 Shit2TalkAbout Strength and Struggles with Kathryn Bennett
Transcript was AI generated, if there are mistakes, please let me know! Thank you in advance! Jenn Junod
Hello, beautiful human.
Jenn Junod
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Jenn Junod
Hey, Catherine, thank you for joining. Shit. You don't want to talk about. Please introduce yourself and the shit you want to talk about today.
Kathryn Bennett
Hey, it's good. To be here today. I appreciate you. My name is Catherine Bennett and I am a world record holding strong woman. I, I have two world records in grip discipline, which is picking up heavy stuff with your hands, which is really what we pick up most heavy things with, but, specifically hand hand sports type activities. and I'm here to talk a little bit to you about, about, alcohol addiction, about the idea of just showing up about some past exciting traumatic activities
in my life. And how I've overcome that with the power of discipline instead of feeling like I always had to be motivated and how the gym has helped me reach my current level of success. So that's what I'm here to share today.
Jenn Junod
Woohoo. Although because, and I know I asked you in our intro call, but I don't know if very many people meet world record holders, I would think not because, you know, there's a bunch of people in the world. So the first for beautiful humans ta listening today, the first question I asked Catherine in our intro call is, can she bench press a human?
Kathryn Bennett
Yes. And the answer is the answer is yes here. So here's some examples of human sized things that I can do. So number one, I have, I have about a £250 bench press so I can bench press many, many humans. But I can also do what's called a farmer's carry where we kind of, it's like, it's like carrying two suitcases, like one on either side. And I can carry £210 in each hand and walk around with that for, you know, 5200 ft.
so, so if you need two people removed from the situation, then I can quickly grab them by the, their shirt collars and just, you know, drag them out. That's fine. I can also overhead press about 100 and £75. So I can get a lot of people overhead too and I can deadlift about £475. So again, multiple people that we can pick up that way.
Jenn Junod, Kathryn Bennett
So lots of different modalities for getting people out the door and, and have you actually lifted anybody above your head?
Jenn Junod
Like when I'm picturing it, it's like a, you know, a barbell and you're holding someone and going up. Have you done that yet?
Kathryn Bennett
I have done it with one person after an event a couple of years ago, I think I've got some pictures floating around up to see if I can find them. But yes, I do pick up my friends on a very rare occasion, but most people don't trust me enough enough to do that. So I guess I need to cultivate some, I guess I need to cultivate some new friendships.
Jenn Junod
Well, that, and you also have to trust them to plank really hard because if they're loosey goosey, then that's not gonna work for that either. Yes. to our listeners, I used to crossfit, in a past life. So this is like, seriously, talking to Catherine, this was like, where my head went is I was like, can she put people above her head?
That it's a very, very random question. Thank you for letting me get that out of the way. Now when we were talking about discipline and motivation and the shit you went through in your past, it can to start with. Can you define for us what motivation is versus determination and all that?
Kathryn Bennett
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. So it's really surprising to a lot of people when I say that I am usually not motivated to go to the gym. Like I don't want to put on my shoes. I don't want to put on my socks. I don't want to drive there like I would really rather just stay home and eat chocolate cake like 60% of the time, right? But the thing that drives me when it comes to, when it comes to working out or when it comes to doing difficult things in my career or when it came to like stopping drinking was
was discipline and how do you cultivate, how do you cultivate discipline and what's the difference there? So motivation is like the desire or the energy or the excitement around doing something. But when you go to the gym and do the same types of heavy lifts for 45 years at a time, that excitement starts waning a little bit. Right. Like you, you know what to expect, it's not the same, you know, kind of birthday party when you show up and you hit APR and in fact, you don't hit personal
records very often after you've been going for that long, right? So that, that, that wow factor kind of wears away and what, what the root of discipline has been for me is looking into the future and saying, you know, number one, am I meant to be doing this? Like this is this part of my determined life path. And if so then I'm, then I'm kind of given the double finger to the to the universe if I'm, if I'm not following my life path, right?
But, but what are my, what are my long term goals? And is this going to actually help me achieve what I want in life? So, so figuring out how to tie those everyday small activities, every single bicep curl, every single overhead press every single school. But to what I want to do in my future. And if I sacrifice what I'm doing today, how much farther away is that goal going to get? Right. So we just acknowledging that like there's a lot of, there's a big grind in in what we're doing.
There's a big grind in what most of us do with our work. There's a grind to sobriety. That is just absolutely exhausting. A lot of the time you gotta show up every day and there's a, there's a grind to being in the gym too. It's just not sexy most of the time. And once we start acknowledging that, that that's not the experience we're going to have, then we can start really getting the, the gratitude and the benefit from those everyday kind of small victories.
Jenn Junod
And I appreciate that so much. And IA I really do want to touch base on two about the motivation and determination as well because as you were saying, like motivation shows up and determination, I feel like is very similar. And I feel like people mix that up as well. Instead of discipline. Now, one thing that I, I really wanna call out is when anybody is new at something.
Yes, it hurts the worst because it's scariest. But that's when you're always gonna see your pr s. Which, what did you say pr s again? Because I always forget personal record, personal record. So when I started CrossFitting, when I left crossfit, I was dead lifting 350 I think. And thank you. It's like the one move I could do amazing what they were my thing.
And when I started, I think I was at like £75 and you know, like with that, discipline, like you're talking about, I kept showing up those type of things and I had a lot of those quick wins. So it also kept me motivated. And when we get into our, you know, our jam, like the podcast, for example, it's been out for over six months and at first it was a lot of quick wins and now I'm like, we're not making money yet.
This is a lot more natural and it's, it's cool because I'm going, I have the discipline for the podcast because it's to your point asking those questions of yourself yet. I don't always have the motivation and the determination to show up and, and there, I just wanted to give a different frame of reference because I can't relate to the being, you know, being sober like that.
especially with like a past experience of abusing alcohol. So, where did that journey start? And how did you even do that? Like, what did it look like pre sobriety and post sobriety and the whole process? Yeah.
Kathryn Bennett
Yeah. Great, great, great question. So I started drinking when I was 16. I went, I went away to college, pretty young and, and I've, I've always been a little bit socially awkward and a little bit nervous. And then I found that alcohol really helped to take the edge off of a lot of that. A lot of those kind of social challenges that I have with making friends, help me relax a little bit, you know, feel, feel more welcome.
And so as the years went by, alcohol became a real critical part of my social life. And then therefore kind of, I built a physical addiction around it and it became, it became a cornerstone of my everyday life that was really causing a lot of problems. I had a lot of health problems, my relationships were suffering, right? And I, I had one of these, I had one of these serious days where I drove out into the desert with a firearm and said, ok, well, I'm just gonna, you know, this, so I maybe
we should put a trigger warning on that. But, but I just drove into the desert and I said, no, this is it, I'm, I, I can't get away from the booze. I can't get away from the depression. I can't get away from the sadness. Like I can't, you know, I'll just, I'll just do this in a place where, you know, it'll be easy to, easy for somebody to, to clean up.
And I, I kind of chickened out, on that day and I came back and I realized that something had to change. because I was going, this was like, I was going to die if I kept drinking in this way, right? And my significant other had also kind of threatened to throw me out of the house at that time and be like, hey, you're gonna be homeless if you don't, if you don't straighten up, if your behavior isn't, isn't more respectful and isn't more, you know, becoming of like a human adult the way that
you need to be acting, right? Because I was, you know, I was messing up a lot of stuff and, and so, so I got sober on February 18th, 20 February 19th, 2018. There we go. And, and what I did was just started to go to a, a meetings and along around that time, my partner at the time, he's also saying, you know, we need to work on our physical health. So let's start you working with a trainer.
So I, I popped into the gym with him and we started working with the trainer and then the trainer says you're really unusually strong, you should probably start competing, right? And so so, so the sobriety part and the gym part for me are really inextricably linked because throughout my childhood, I was very intensive into athletics, played soccer and basketball and tennis and did went to the gym with my parents and, you know, I skied all through my young adulthood here in
Colorado and then I got away from it because the booze just kind of took over. And then I, then then as soon as I rediscovered my sobriety, then I was able to rediscover my love for the gym and then it just accelerated from there. So, so the strength sports and the sobriety are just, are just married, in my opinion.
Jenn Junod, Kathryn Bennett
And as long as I'm doing one, the other is probably going to follow and thank you for sharing that.
Jenn Junod
And as a just because we talked about your time in the desert and that type of thing. depression and anxiety and addiction is something very, very serious. So it's not, no one's journey is the same. So beautiful humans listening. Please know that there will be resources linked in the show notes and just know that as we're talking about Catherine's journey, no one's journey is the same.
And as I've said many times, I'm clinically depressed, anxious bipolar type two A DH D dyslexic, you know, I've got a bunch of them going on. And so I don't wanna just say that alcohol or anything because, and I don't want to take away from your story because this is your life and we're all so different.
Kathryn Bennett
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Those experiences. I mean, you go into the rooms of a a, you go into any sobriety program, you go into any kind of, I mean, most of the people that I go to the gym with who do this heavy lifting, most of us are sober. because because life is really challenging and difficult, right? And so any way that we can figure out how to break it down into smaller chunks, make it more approachable. Figure out how we can work our way towards our goals without having to
rely on substances in that way. I it's just a positive, a positive outcome. So I think you're 100% right? And I'm really glad that you said that because there's lots of different ways to approach, approach mental wellness and mental health. And and I think, you know, listening to podcasts, like this makes a really big difference for people like me too. So I'm glad you're here.
Jenn Junod
Yay. Thank you. And I'm glad you're here too because when it also on just the standpoint of you said that your trainer said that you were, abnormally strong. I, at least my time with trainers and in crossfit and, across like a very, very different ways of training. I've seen how it's much more of in my own experience have seen that it's much more male dominated and that those who identify as girls and women are not always pushed to their best because society or like the fitness world
or something doesn't believe that they can or should. So let's go with both can or should. And so did you, did that show up in your journey of becoming a strong woman? And how did that go?
Kathryn Bennett
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, absolutely. No. Society tells us, society tells us that as women that we're supposed to be a bit diminutive and graceful and lean. Right. And how many times have we heard this? I'm really glad you asked this question. because how many times have we heard? Well, I don't wanna get bulky. I just, I don't wanna get bulky. Let me look, anybody who doesn't want to get bulky, you won't like, I, unless you're taking a testosterone supplement of some kind or like if
you're juiced in real hard and then you probably will get bulky. But, but you, you don't just get big and like super, super strong on accident by showing up to do regular gym stuff, right? Like those of us who are in this position look this way because we're in the gym 23 hours a day, picking up hundreds of pounds at a time. So I just want to assuage everybody's fear that like, it's very unlikely that you're gonna end up looking like a, like a muscle monster if you're doing a regular
athletic program of, you know, exercise and, and regular stuff. But yeah, it was a huge, it was a huge challenge for my mind because right when I started doing all this stuff, my, again, my ex partner and I, we went on the keto diet, which turned out to be horrible for my health, but I lost a bunch of weight and everybody. 000 gosh, don't you look great?
But, and I was so, and I was strong and I was hungry. I was so hungry. I was so hungry. I'm sure it works for some people, but I was having difficulty focusing at work and I was exhausted all the time. Like my hair is falling out and stuff and it was not, it was not a positive experience for me from that perspective. So I stopped it and I put £70 on and that was also a trip because people had seen, you know, seen this yo yoing up and down and, and, and I had to really surrender to the fact that my
body is built for a certain type of activity which is, you know, like medieval peasant farm labor. That's, that's what I was built to do. Like my ancestors are looking down being like, look at that well fed woman, right? But I'm not meant to be a ballerina. I'm not really. And, and to accept the role that I have in society in this way, yes, it took a lot of work. And what also really helped me here was finding the community of other people who are like me and finding other people who, who
say yes, it's OK. And also just getting older and you know, not giving as much of a shit. What society has. What are you gonna tell me? I have to lose weight like I, no, I'm not listening to that. I'd rather pick up £500 than be thin. And, and that's not every again, that's not everybody's perspective. And it took me a long time to get there. But, yeah, it's shirking. That societal expectation has been nothing but wonderful. 10 at a time.
Jenn Junod
That is, that is amazing. And that is a big reason I bring that up is I really struggled with the fact that when I was in crossfit I bulked up. a, I didn't know that I need to eat gluten, gluten free and mostly dairy free. So I put on a lot of muscle, but I didn't learn, lose the fat. So I just kind of looked like a strong squishy person, which I, I had coworkers that would make fun of me for it because they're like, oh, you're so strong, but you don't look like you're losing any weight and so fast
forward. I ended up getting a job in Europe and I became the smallest weight and the smallest size I had ever been like, I look at pictures of this and I'm like, damn, I looked good, but at the moment and I was absolutely miserable and thought my body was disgusting and I was weak because I stopped working out to lose all the weight. And, now I am about £40 heavier than that point.
I'm like, dude, yeah, I like it. I like, I wanna work out. I wanna be strong yet. I want to realize that I'm 52. I'm a little human and I'm like, very stout like our bulldog and I look very similar in the fact that we're short and stout, but we're very strong and we both are very, very give my partner a lot of, you know, push back on everything. So yes, I like to say I'm like full do. It's great. It's like, I feel like so many women don't get that opportunity because of society.
So thank you for sharing your journey. And now how has it shown up in your life giving that discipline in? Ok. How did you go from motivation to discipline? Because I know for myself, my journey doesn't sound anything like yours when we were talking pre show. So how did you end up getting the discipline to do it? Did that exist because of sports growing up in sports? So it's easy to fall back into that or how did that happen?
Kathryn Bennett
Yeah. Well, so, ok, so here's what happened after I got sober is my, during early, early in quarantine, my partner and I broke up, which was really difficult because so, so I had a, I had a bunch of, I had a bunch of reasons to go to the gym to like get the dopamine hit at the beginning. And for like maybe the first two years, right? Like I would go because that was my only lifeline to feeling normal.
I would feel I'm certain that people who are listening to this podcast know what like the ick is like, you just get the ick and the, like, the depression or the anxiety or the inability to focus or just like, oh, I feel uncomfortable and I would go to the gym and it would purge all of that out. It was like, like taking a shower and whoosh, the ick is gone.
Right. And, and I felt relief and, and then, and then there's this day that there was a, a moment when it converted from motivation to discipline for me. And that was the day in, September of 2020 when I was at the Utah strongest woman contest, which I, which I won. But I was, I thank you. Thank you. I was doing a, a deadlift and the deadlift was £50 over what any other woman had ever lifted in that contest before £475 on the bar there in front of me and, and we hadn't planned to go that high.
But my coach is like, you're in good shape. You're gonna get this today. And I said, OK, so I showed up and, and I stepped, I stepped in front of the bar and I grasped onto it and I pulled and I pulled and all of a sudden just the roar of the crowd around me just turned into this like encompassing swell. And I, I pulled and I pulled and I hitched it, it took forever to get it up and then I, I finished that lift and every muscle in my body was like, screaming in pain and I dropped it and I unclasped my
belt and I, like, kind of dropped to the ground because I was so, I was so excited. I'm like, on the verge of crying. And in that moment it was like a lightning bolt hit me like this is what you're supposed to be doing with your life. Right. Like you picking up, which sounds really, it sounds really like existential, right? But at that moment, I was like, I know that that weightlifting is a critical part of who I am now.
Like it's gone from being a thing that brings me relief to something that I'm going to wrap my identity around because that was the best feeling I've ever had in my whole life. And now I'm back in the gym every day chasing that as opposed to chasing the relief. I want that, I want that glory. I want everything to sync together like it did in that moment and it happens again and again and again, since I've been competing, but that was the first time that I had that moment of revelation. And
so so for me, I'm convicted that my life path has to involve this certain thing. And that's why, that's why I go because it's unavoidable. This is, this is what I'm meant to be doing, right? I, I don't think it's that dramatic for anybody. And in fact, that's, that's, that's one of the very few moments in my life that I can say there was some serious, you know, kind of serious emotional impact like that. but that, yeah, that's the moment, that's the moment when everything shifted.
Jenn Junod
That is, and congratulations. Thank you. That is an insane weight because I know that there were a lot of people at the couple Crossfit gyms that wouldn't get very high. That's why they were so surprised that my weight and I was like, it's just because I'm little and all of my, my strength is in my legs and now that existential moment I can relate to with the podcast of like, and this is, it does get a lot more disciplined yet.
There are many times where I'm like, I don't feel like you're doing that and when you talk about the ick, that is, is something that I even am currently going through. Like, I'm looking for work and, you know, and y'all just in case you were wondering, we were, were recording this back in April. I had a look, I don't know when it comes out yet, but it's back in April.
So hopefully when this comes out, I got a job or money by then. But, it, it definitely keeps coming up with that ick of the rejection of not working out. I'm recovering from surgery, you know. I'm more stressed out. I'm in Colorado where the last seven years I've lived in Arizona. So, like, I have friends out here but not, like, not as many or not as accessible.
And sometimes you just need somebody to sit on the couch with, like, I miss that. And for myself, what I've really found is when I don't have that motivation or that discipline, there's times where I need to look externally because I know that I've had a personal trainer, organic Crossfit for years. But if you tell me to go to the gym by myself, I'll be like, so what do I do?
Because it never, like sunk in with me. Like, it literally never has computed to like what I'm supposed to do when, where, how, but if I go with a friend or I go with a, trainer or I'm at Crossfit. So it's more of a group thing. I'm like, cool. I got that and the same goes with, I'm working with a writing coach and so she's like, you need to do XYZ. This is how you take X to go to Z. And that's been, that's been something that I know these are things I want to do yet.
Don't always click for me and I had to get help for that discipline. Yeah. Now, for a lot of people I would imagine and, and for myself, I used to think getting external help means I'm never gonna be disciplined. And I'm curious how, what your thoughts are on that because does discipline always have to be internal only?
Kathryn Bennett
No, no, no, no, no. Ok. Number one, I want to talk about the fact that you, that you just mentioned that you have all these coaches. I, I have a bunch of coaches too. Right. I, I have a therapist. I have a life coach who's also a writing coach and like a speaking coach. She does a bunch of those things. I have an athletic coach. I have people that I consider consider to be like informal career coaches or mentors.
So I will tell you that I think one of the biggest ways in which we can it and it's not even accountability because I really hate that word. I think most of us are want, we want to achieve the thing that's in front of us and then we beat ourselves up when we can't get there. And a lot of the times it's because we don't have the path, we don't understand what the next step is.
But if you find somebody who's already done it before or if you find somebody who knows how to like how to take you to that next step, to guide you along the way, then like I wrote, I wrote a, I wrote a book, right? I, there's no way I could have, right? But there's no way I could have done that if I didn't have a writing coach to tell me. Well, now time to edit, well, now it's time to put, to put, put it into this type of a document.
Like you don't, you don't just know that. And going out to read that on the internet is really overwhelming because you don't know who to trust. Right. So, 100% I think the best way to be successful in life if you want to do something is to find someone who's done it before and ask them how they did it like that. It's, it's that simple. You can pay them sometimes.
You can just be their friend sometimes. But like find the people who have done you want to do. And then second of all, the reason that I compete is because I need external motivation to do this stuff. Right. And it just turns out that I'm pretty good at competing. But even if I wasn't winning first place in many of the competitions I was going for, if I wasn't hitting world records, I can tell you when I get to be in my fifties and I'm biting the dust out there and only picking up like £100 at
a time. I'm still gonna be doing this because the competition is what drives me to one to do better and I get to go see my friends, I get to do something that's really thrilling that a lot of people don't get to do. It's my hobby. It's part of my identity. And I think that the competition is really what helps me try to stay motivated.
So no, it can, your external motivation can be all kinds of different things. And it's, it's reasonable to combine your internal drive with the external motivation to actually reach success. Good, brilliant point. Brilliant point.
Jenn Junod
Thank you. Thank you. And I love that you mentioned that you have multiple coaches and a therapist isn't always considered a coach yet. They're in your corner, they're cheering you on and those are behind the scenes. I feel like so many people don't talk about their coaches or like the people cheering them on or, and believe me especially, I still have those downward spirals.
That is something that I've had to work really hard on finding my own coping mechanisms and finding who to reach out when and how to reach out. And the, the reason I mentioned that is finding all of this external motivation, having the discipline, having everything, you know, figured out isn't going to change that I have depression and anxiety.
And I, with my bipolar type two, I have hypomania episodes where I'm like super productive and then I feel like bus hit me and I just wanna lay in bed and cry. and those something that you said earlier of just accepting who you are as you are and then finding those people who help you become more you.
Kathryn Bennett
Oh, I love that.
Jenn Junod
Yeah, it's a, it's something that's like, so difficult yet. II I would love to get your advice because I really, really appreciated how you mentioned to get to a coach is just, you know, you know, reach out to them, see how they did it, that type of thing. I would say from my own experience, easier said than done sometimes because, well, people have busy lives. You have no idea what's going on in their lives and on linkedin, people get hit up all the time.
I still get hit up all the time for random stuff. And I'm like, y'all, I don't even work at a job or like, I don't have a real job. Why are you trying to sell me this stuff? So a lot of people will ignore linkedin or, you know, people get so many D MS on Instagram. So how would you suggest, you know, finding somebody to help life co well, life coaching. I feel like there's a lot of them out there.
Kathryn Bennett
But yeah, so, so first I wanna talk about like, let me get to, let me get to how do you find the right coach? But I just want to say that the fact that you're talking about you, you know, I, I don't want everybody out there to think that even elite, like I'm considered an elite strength athlete, right? And, and there are days that I'm on the injured list, like there are days that I, I broke my foot last year and I couldn't work out my whole lower body.
But did I give up on my dreams of being like an ongoing strong person? No. What I did was I figured out a way to make it work even though I was injured and we have those physical injuries, but we also have emotional and mental injuries and like my dog died in November and it, it leveled me for four months. Like I was just, I was consumed with grief and I could barely get out of bed, but I did what I could.
Right. And, and I, and all of us, like, I just really don't want anybody to think again that even elite strength athletes are going 100% all the time. We have, we have grief, we have physical ailments, we have family concerns. We have, you know, things that surround us that make our lives really difficult or depression. Like I, you know, I have been diagnosed with seasonal depression.
I've got all kinds of neuro neuro atypical things, right? Like neurodivergent stuff that's going on in my own head and it, and I run out of spoons really quickly. I've run out of energy really quickly. So I've got a shepherd my own resources thoughtfully and it's ok, like, genuinely, if you can't go do the thing that you love one day or even if you can't do it for six months, it doesn't mean that it's gone from who you are.
It just means that maybe you need the rest and you can come back to that thing at any time. I left for several months and now I'm back and it's ok. I'm still strong, right? So, so, so, so give yourself that grace to take a break and be on the injured list. And then second, when you think about finding a coach, what I would say is let it develop organically chase the thing that you like and then find somebody who's already doing it, who has the capacity to help you.
And I'll give you a couple of examples of how this worked for me. So I showed up to a a and you have a coach in a, a which is your sponsor, right? And I, I asked 11 person at first, I said, well, would you be my sponsor? And she said, no, I don't have the time and I could have stopped there. And I could have said, well, I guess I'll just never have a sponsor, like because the one lady that I wanted didn't have time, but I just kept asking and eventually I found somebody who did have the capacity and
who was the right fit. So I would just say, don't give up. But I found a good coach in an environment where coaching was part of the program similar to showing up to the gym. But, but the, the third life coach that I found that I, that I think is really important here is, is I set a, a goal for myself back in 2020 to do a speech, like any speech, a public speech. Right. And, and I did it in January. I ended up getting my speech in January. But they, they pair you with a speaking coach as part of
this program. And so I went and met with her and I loved the experience I had. And so I stuck with her. And she has been the person who has helped me develop my public speaking career, who has helped me write my book, who has supported me through some of the most challenging parts of my life. But I met her because I was doing something I loved to begin with and she was also there. So, so chase the thing first and find your coach as that develops. Does that make sense?
Jenn Junod
It does make sense. And one thing that really stood out in our call, like our chat before we started recording and then also in your introduction is the concept of just showing up because like how what I'm hearing from you is, you know, if you start going in the direction of something, we'll go with like anything, it could be your dream, it could be making money, it could be like literally anything you start.
Oh, I feel like I'm talking about this secret and woo woo shit. But but like you start attracting that so you start finding these opportunities places. And I feel like that to me when you say just show up, it's not just show up at the gym because I'm horrible at the gym, but it's, you know, just show up and start taking those steps to the right direction.
An example that I have been struggling with the last couple weeks is I'm getting really overwhelmed with applying for so many jobs or applying for, you know, ads for the podcast and speaking gigs and like, it's getting really overwhelming because I'm like, they're all gonna say no and yeah, they might. That is true. Yeah. Instead of thinking that I have to spend eight hours a day every single day doing this.
If I do it five minutes, a lot of times if I can get the five minutes done, I'm good with still going and that shows up for me. I'm honestly, I don't have a lot of structure. I've never had a lot of structure like a day to day, like any habits like the dishes, which Tyler has never really appreciated and I don't blame him. I'm really bad at that kind of stuff.
Like it just doesn't register which he realizes now. But yes, it's so frustrating. What I found was, if I make my tea, it has to speak for five minutes. So I just use that time to start the dishes and then nine times out of 10, I complete that because it's a daily practice it. I'm just showing up. I want my tea. I have to start the dishes. And one thing that I, I really do wanna point out is just showing up can, if we're showing up to something negative, it can attract more negativity.
How would you suggest? And I, I, I'm really curious what you, you've learned, especially going from the desert to sobriety in the gym. How the fuck did you get over that mindset? Because like I remember there was no way I could change my mindset. Like there was, it was not possible like there like people are batshit crazy. This is not like humanly possible to change my mindset. Yeah.
Jenn Junod, Kathryn Bennett
And you have no, it's a great, no, I haven't.
Kathryn Bennett
I haven't underneath the hood. I still every single day struggle with self esteem problems. I still struggle with depression. I have just decided I just decided that I'm going to live a life despite those things, I, I think we have this concept that when we get treatment for our mental illness or when we get treatment for these conditions or social, social problems or whatever that they just magically go away.
And I want people to know out there that there are a lot of us who are living with these, these mental and emotional burdens every day. It's just that I got strong enough that I can carry it and a regular life now, like I got mentally and physically strong enough so that I can live my life despite having all this other garbage going on in my brain.
And I'm able to put it in a box most days and set it to the side. But it's not gone. My depression gone, my, my neuro divergence is, is gone. It, it messes with my life every day. I had to set up good. Like you talked about setting up a system so that you can have a life that's, that's ha has clean dishes in it, right? I have systems. I my house, my house looks absolutely bad shit.
Like like nothing that I can't have guests over because the way I've organized things doesn't make sense to anybody else, but it helps me to get through my day. And so like we again accepting your so, so I think there's a big part of like accepting my own limitations. Like I don't have the energy to go out with people at the end of the day and all these, all these, all these burdens of like, well, I should be this way or I should be that way.
I don't care how I should be. This is how I am. I am a, a very strong lady who's also very depressed and also very exhausted and just trying to be out here sharing my story to give other people a little bit of hope. Right. and I think a big part of this too is that getting better means that you're going to be very lonely and you have to get used to the solitude of getting to know yourself, which is absolutely.
Yeah, I see your face. It's terrifying. It's awful. Nobody wants to do it. And you, and the only way out of that is through and it takes a lot of time and it takes a lot of energy. I don't think anybody gets there quickly. Right. You don't just flip a switch and become enlightened. I'm not there yet. Who knows, who knows if it will ever happen. But, but I've been very lonely.
I had a lot of points and, you know, I talked to this guy at one point in my journey who was a, an amputee and he said that there are days for all of us that we sit alone in the dark with whatever it is. And you're the only person who can pick up that weight in that darkness, in that solitude. But if you make yourself strong enough, what you're going to be able to do is pick up that weight and walk out of that dark room, you can have a condo in hell that you visit, but you don't get to live there
anymore. And that's, and that's what he told me. And that was some, some of the wisest words that I had ever heard is like that. You're just gonna have to, you're gonna have to get strong enough. There's no other way and knowing that other people have gotten strong enough and they have come out of this should inspire, should comfort and should, should kind of provide some, provide some so solidarity for people who are walking that path themselves.
Jenn Junod
I appreciate that. And I, I wanna, a couple call outs is only because I feel like you and I both probably don't like the, the words should. So to, to kind of just recap what you just said of our hope with doing this episode and the podcast itself and everything that I've learned about Catherine is our hope is to give others hope that they can get through it too because the shoulds are what a is common language and so many people are like, language doesn't really matter.
I will say for myself, it definitely matters and knowing that getting rid of the shoulds of, hey, I hope it helps. And that has really helped me. Apparently, the theme of it is just show up because it, it really helps when I'm like, I wanna do my best for my friends, for our listeners, for my family. I hope it does. It, it's not, it should help. I hope it does because this should means that I'm taking responsibility for their reactions where if I hope it dies, they're responsible for
their reactions. I hope my, you know, my being is, is helping them, but it might not and that's not on me. Well, I mean, if I'm being a douche, it is. But, you know, like as long as I'm trying to be a good human, my intentions are good. You know, there's always a learning opportunity yet. It's their choice, you know, so I just wanted to call that out, but something that I absolutely love.
So for all of those watching on youtube, you'll be able to see this. For those listening, Catherine keeps taking notes of being able to keep you know, track and the questions and coming back to it. And I absolutely love it because I am horribly a DH D and I never knew that at least for myself and being incredibly dyslexic, I can bounce around and bring it all back around. And that was something I learned in sales that oh yeah, we're almost to the end of the call.
I'll bring up something from the beginning. No worries. I got you. And I love that you and I have very different ways of being able to keep our thoughts going. And I really wanna say I appreciate you doing that on this because you're showing others you're showing up. Jeez. That is literally the theme of the entire entire call episode is just show up because you're showing up as you.
Jenn Junod, Kathryn Bennett
And that's all we can ever ask of each other is just show up Yeah, I, I appreciate that.
Kathryn Bennett
Reframing on the should and I'm, I, I'm, I'm pleased to take that feedback and definitely incorporate that into my own everyday life because I think that I think that should, is probably to your point that that was a, that was a very illuminating, very illuminating perspective and I appreciate you there. but yeah, I, I think when it comes down to this is, 2021 I have, I have a canvas.
It's sitting downstairs. I have a canvas that has a word for the year. Every year. My word in like 2019, I think was confidence. 2020 was uncompromising. Who? That was a spicy. It was a spicy year. It was a spicy 2020 2021 was authenticity and this year is delight. And so oh, yes. Oh, and you think, you know, I, I keep thinking that delight is going to bring me like these kind of delicate moments of joy.
And it's not, it's like it's punching me upside the head with, but I'm finding what I'm learning is to find delight in the moments that are, that are you know, kind of, kind of in between the challenges, I guess. It's not, it's not, it's not like, oh, look, I took myself to out to a night's dinner. It's like, oh, I'm delighted that I made it through today.
You know what I mean? But, but when I had authenticity on my, as my word, it really challenged me because I came out as queer that year, you know, II, I ended up picking a totally different job. I ended up showcasing myself and getting more tattoos and doing the whole thing. Like I'm like, I am my authentic self. We're just gonna let it hang out.
And I, and I have to tell you that there's a lot of fear behind, behind doing that. And there are some ramifications like it is, it is difficult to be yourself wholeheartedly, right? And, I would not now, I would never go back into the bottle. You know, I wouldn't, it's out, we're out now the party on Garth, you know.
Jenn Junod
Oh my gosh. I feel like that could be its whole other episode just, just on that topic itself. And we have about 15 minutes left. And before I ask you, you know, is there anything we missed something that we've mentioned throughout this episode yet? I would love to hear you talk about. It. Is, somebody has a book.
Kathryn Bennett
Oh, yes, yes, I do. Well, ok, here since we're on video, I can actually show you this is the first hard copy of my book. It's called Productive Pain In My Life as a strong woman. And in it, I talk about my sobriety journey, some of it, which we, we discussed today, but also some hot takes and great secrets for you to be able to integrate your own authentic journey into your future and figure out where to find your own purpose and meaning mostly through entertaining stories of my own
personal failures at the gym. So you'll get to hear all kinds of funny things in, in this book, it comes out June 26th, which is coincidentally the same day as the National Strongman Competition, which I'll be competing in near Boston this year.
Jenn Junod
Congratulations. And only because, you know, when it says Strong Man or Iron Man or something like that, do you think they're ever gonna rename it to like strong people or strong human?
Kathryn Bennett
You know, I hear that all the time.
Jenn Junod, Kathryn Bennett
I think we've got to come up with a different name for the sport because people get cranky when you say I don't, I don't know why, but I think specifically because I'm talking to you that I'm like this is, it's, it's not just men.
Kathryn Bennett
Yeah. Well, I mean, I mean, if I'm honest, I'm gender fluid. So some days I'm a strong man too. So there we go. I don't take as much personal front to it. But, but, but, but I do see, I think, I think that there is an opportunity for us to consider renaming the sport, that's for sure. I mean, picking up heavy shit in the field would probably be a good sports league name because that's pretty or picking up heavy shit in a parking lot is generally more accurate.
Jenn Junod
What did you say that your, your ancestors did or? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like you in the field, like whatever you use. Beginning of the episode is what it should be called.
Kathryn Bennett
Just medieval peasants.
Jenn Junod
There we go. Done.
Kathryn Bennett
Well. Now they already have the highland games which I don't participate in, but I'm totally interested in because that's things like sticking a pitchfork in a bale of hay and throwing it over a bar or like throwing a log as far as you can. So there's lots of very bizarre strength sports that people are out here still doing.
Oh, yes. Check out the Highland Games. You're required to compete in a kilt. There's a million different interesting sports that go along with that. So. Ok. Yeah, it's very good.
Jenn Junod
Interesting. I'll, I'll definitely have to look that stuff up. Now. Is there anything that we didn't cover that you wanted to cover today?
Kathryn Bennett
no, I would just say I would just say that I want to reinforce the facts that no matter what it looks like, just waking up and putting your feet on the floor, even if you put them back into your bed some days, it's ok. Any effort that you're putting in towards your dreams is going to be effort well spent. And I think that it's really important for you to get clear on what you want to do with your time.
at least for some short period of the future and point yourself in that direction and see what you think. But, but I think we have this concept of everybody always having to go full bore towards their dreams at every moment of the day and, and even if you just pick up £2 you're still doing the thing.
Jenn Junod, Kathryn Bennett
So, so keep going no matter what that looks like.
Jenn Junod
Thank you for that. And would you say that's your words of wisdom or are you gonna use something else for words of wisdom?
Kathryn Bennett
Oh gosh. No, that sounds like it might be the words of list. Ok. Ok.
Jenn Junod
That happens a lot. People are like, like I'm just excited to get that and knock that one out of the park. All right and beautiful humans listening or watching, please share support, you know, donate to this podcast, a share it. So that way to someone that you really think that it can make a difference because that is how we're really going to change the conversation from shit. You don't want to talk about into shit to talk about and how do they reach out to you, Catherine?
Kathryn Bennett
Yes. Anybody who's interested in joining the War Maiden Fitness Movement, which I'm striving to one day, open an inclusive gym that is a great safe space for women and non binary folks to come and enjoy heavy weightlifting sports. You can find me at War Maiden Fitness dot com. Which is where you can also order a copy of Productive pain for yourself. I am on tiktok at, at War Maiden underscore official and also on Instagram at War Maiden underscore official.
Jenn Junod, Kathryn Bennett
And you can find me on linkedin if you have so such inclinations at Katherine Bennett writes awesome and last but not least what is something you're grateful for?
Kathryn Bennett
Yeah, I'm grateful for community and I think that that comes through every time I get to come onto a podcast like this and every time I go to the gym and I see all my big meat head buddies community, I love it.
Jenn Junod
And I would say something that I'm really grateful for is timing of. I recently was on Doctor D's Social Network podcast and he talks about just walks of life and he also is a personal trainer, which I was like, huh, I need a personal trainer. I need to get back into that and half an hour before Catherine and I recorded this, he killed me is the best way to say it. because my legs are worse than jello because when I was trying to go down the stairs, I almost fell because my legs went out from
under me. And I am not saying that fitness is for everybody. You know, I, I personally have always loved it and found out that even though I didn't grow up as an athlete, I can be an athlete. And I'm really, really grateful for getting back into this because as this to me is a good pain.
Kathryn Bennett
Would you say it's, it's even a productive one?
Jenn Junod
I would say it is a productive thing. There we go. I'm just gonna start looking back, just show up and get productive pain.
Kathryn Bennett
That's what we're going with now. Full circle. I'm here for it.
Jenn Junod
Well, thank you for being on the show today, Catherine. Talk soon.
Kathryn Bennett
Thank you.
Jenn Junod
Bye.
Jenn Junod
Hello again. Beautiful human. What did you get out of today's episode? We'd love to hear what was most impactful to you. We all know someone that could have really used this episode so please send it their way. Remind them that they're not alone. Stay tuned for new episodes every Wednesday. Here's a few ways that we could really use your support to keep shit.
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