S1 E39 Shit2TalkAbout Self Empowerment with Marta Spirk
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Jenn Junod
Hey, Marta, thank you for joining shit. You don't want to talk about. Please introduce yourself and what shit you want to talk about today.
Marta Spirk
Hey, thank you. So much for having me. So I'm Marti Burke. I'm an empowerment coach and marketing strategist. I help women entrepreneurs increasing their confidence and also increasing visibility really showing up fully in their power and owning your gifts, owning your story so that they can bless the world with that story and with those gifts through their business and the shit I wanna talk about here and I'm excited to, to discuss this with you has a lot to do with empowerment
because that's the heart of the work that I do. And really a lot of misconceptions that come along with that term, how it's become very trendy and like most things and even cliches, it gets kind of watered down and people kind of bypass it or they, I roll it and or they assume that it has to do with being empty men or women that don't want to raise a
family because they wanna pursue goals so much or even women that don't believe in God or believe that there's a higher power and that they need to do everything themselves.
Marta Spirk, Jenn Junod
So I'm excited to dive in yay.
Jenn Junod
And I will say that I am one of those guilty people that I'm like empowerment. Do I want to talk about this? Like this is like, it's, there's so many people out there in the world that it's like raw, raw and not like the actual shit you have to do to work on it and how it's not always pretty and I just really appreciate that we're going to dive into that a bit more. And also something that I just realized episode number two on this podcast was actually with a woman named Marta and she is a
confidence coach. And you are the second Marta that I have ever met and you have empowered women as we can for those of you watching on youtube, You can see her book in the background and we will get to that as well. So I just wanna say the two Marta's I know are really cool. So Marta must be a really cool name. Oh I love that.
Marta Spirk
I'm gonna have to go find this other Marta and connect with her.
Jenn Junod
Yes. Yes. And I will do that introduction as well. Now, what does I know you've done a lot of market research for your book? What does empowerment mean to you like? How would you explain it if I've never heard the word? How would you explain it to me?
Marta Spirk
So, through my own journey and with the work that I do right now and what I outlined in the book, my definition of empowerment really is taking responsibility for yourself, taking responsibility for your success, for your happiness, not depending on anyone else, and most importantly, not blaming anybody else for your lack of fulfillment and happiness.
And really understanding that if there are things that have made you feel unsuccessful or unfulfilled, it is your responsibility to take that power back because there was only one thing in this world that you can control. And that is yourself, your thoughts, your emotions, obviously, some of that is not very easy. And that's where you hire people to help you go through this process and you use specific tools and it's a daily thing and it's a forever journey as long as we're alive.
But still, it is a choice if there's anything that every single human being on this earth right now has is a choice, right? Is a choice on what you're going to be doing next. And oftentimes we operate out of victimhood. So I guess another way of explaining empowerment is saying what it's not and it's not believing that things are happening to you all the time, right?
And that is something that I've learned recently actually is four levels of consciousness and it starts with living in a victimhood space and thinking that everything is happening to you. And then moving on, you start understanding that things can happen by you and you actually have some influence in your world and you actually have the ability of changing things around.
It's not you're not just an expect or you're not just passively going about life. And then another level of that is through you is just more effortlessly knowing that those things are happening, but you don't have to work so hard. And ultimately, the, the ultimate one and the final one, which is what many people associate with Buddha like or Jesus like is as you understanding that you are everything, we are all one. So what you wish upon somebody else, you're actually wishing upon
yourself. So this has a lot to do with the definition of empowerment is really moving from that victimhood space to understanding how much influence you have in your life and in your world and in your reality, which is such a great opportunity for you to improve your relationship with yourself and with others because you then understand that you are much more influential than you could have ever imagined before. You were a awakened to this reality.
Jenn Junod
OK. So I will say me in 2022 definitely understands what you're saying of. We need to take responsibility for what has happened to us and make the choices of how to move forward and how to live with our emotions, how to change our mindset. And I really appreciate you explaining the, the four levels of consciousness. Now, if you talk to me, I would even say a few years ago, but definitely with, with my background, I don't think like between just all the physical abuse and emotional
abuse. I think that's what a few things that have really made a lasting impression on my life. I would straight up tell you that's all bullshit. That's not possible. And for myself, a way that I like to explain it is from the mindset of scarcity versus abundance and changing my mindset was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my entire life.
And it is, I think it took from it's taken me almost 10 years since I first started on this journey of self development and going inward to really start going. Oh OK. So a anything is possible, which is just like mind blowing. And then also that we are, we can make these changes because there's been a point in my life when I was in one of these self development courses and they were like, OK, cool.
It's the last day. Go ahead and visualize like what you wanna do in your future. And I'm like, I'm just lucky I live to this point or that I'm here because I was living in Indiana and it's in the course was a five day course in Santa Barbara. So it's like I'm just lucky, I'm here. I'm lucky I'm alive with all the shit I grew up with. And that is something that I know was a start to the mindset change of I'm lucky to be alive.
I'm grateful I'm alive compared to why am I stuck with all of this? So where would you say someone starts? Because this is, I think a big part of, I don't know exactly where it started. I don't know for myself. I know that a gratitude journal has always really helped me yet. I don't know how to coach someone through it because you can't make someone else change.
You know, they got to want it themselves. So I don't always know how to help someone through a situation because I'm like, it's really easy. You just do Xy and Z and they're like, no, how so? Yeah, that was a bunch of questions in one. So, no, I really like that.
Marta Spirk
And I think this actually makes me think back to some things that I have been studying recently and being a part of a program specifically right now that talks about how we're all unique vessels. And at times you may hear the same thing from different people and it never really hits you until you hear from that one person. And it's like I knew this before conceptually, but I never really embodied this wisdom in my life until it came out of that person's mouth.
And I feel like that is the moment like you're saying, I don't know when it was like, you can kind of pinpoint the timeline, but you don't know the moment or maybe there are some specific moments, but you don't know exactly how that came to be. Why didn't this happen before when I had heard this? And I feel like a lot of that is just that alignment of circumstances and you go going through certain things that prepared you for that point in time when that person comes into your life and
says this or maybe a book, it could be an ad like it could be the most random things, but it's that connection that you were missing and somehow it is made for you to then realize I am freaking powerful, right? Anything is possible. Whereas before just like what you were saying, a few years before you couldn't have fathomed that. And why is that?
And I think it has to do a lot with our own personal journey which points me back to the whole empowerment thing and why I believe this journey is so important from going to completely unaware of yourself and your influence in the world to then understanding, oh my gosh, I can literally create anything and this is the life path, right? Some people understand this right away. And I think even me sharing a little bit about my story of growing up in a pretty well off family and growing up
in church too and understanding the concept of I believe in God. And if I pray things will work out for me and then me intent really intentionally choosing to leave all of that because I felt super sheltered and I wanted to experience life. It's just so interesting how that goes. Some people like I, I would have loved to have been born in your condition. And what's interesting is that I recently found, the 90 day fiance reality show. Are you familiar with it at all?
Jenn Junod
Yeah, I recently found that show a bit.
Marta Spirk
Ok. Well, it's basically, there's this, you can marry somebody, in the United States, you can marry somebody from overseas. even if you haven't had time with them or if you have time, it's usually a long distance relationship, but there's something called a K one visa. You can apply to that and the person can come through that visa, not a tourist visa, but specifically to come to then see, within 90 days, if they wanna marry you or not.
And, I didn't do that because I actually came on a student visa from Brazil to marry my husband. But we dated long distance and it was a crazy whirlwind of a relationship now, from the outside view of this situation and being a mom myself. I see how crazy of a ride that was that I left my parents and that they were like, why are you living leaving such a great life?
But in my mind, it wasn't a great life like I was grateful. Sure. Thank you for feeding me and clothing me. But I wanted to experience life. I'd never gone to college. I'd never, you know, like I'd gone to college in Brazil, but I never lived on campus.
Marta Spirk, Jenn Junod
I never experienced life outside of my parents and then I time out, time out really quick.
Jenn Junod
Yeah. so you're from Brazil? I am. Yeah. because that, that I think is something that I, I didn't know and also, and gives a bit of different perspective because the US, it is very different that and, listening to you, I'm not hearing an accent either because some people, you know, when they come to the US or go to a different area, they pick up the accent or they don't or you sometimes hear it.
So I didn't hear an accent at least as of yet. And so, OK, going back to your story, you are in Brazil and you're, you're getting out of your parents' house and you're going to University in Brazil. Please continue.
Marta Spirk, Jenn Junod
Thank you for letting me take your phone real quick and just a quick parenthesis.
Marta Spirk
The reason why I'm saying this, I do want to go back to your question because your original question was, where does somebody start? Right? If they're not at that space that they understand what we're talking about that you in 2022 understands but maybe somebody is not in that space yet. So I do want to get to that. But I, what I, the reason why I wanted to talk about my story is to say I had a different path than you did and everybody else because it's my unique story, but it kind of helps
see that my awakening, so to speak. And me understanding that I could go from that unaware space to then seeing more things it happened with me intentionally choosing challenges in my life. Like I could have lived a very safe, let's just coast here. And for whatever reason, deep within, I felt called to put myself in distress, which is very crazy.
But now going back to the 90 day fiance, I'm watching that show, having been married for 12 years with somebody that I barely knew. Now I I've been seeing, I've been revisiting a lot of that and it's been crazy. And seeing how those parents are like, are you sure this girl is not just coming over here to get a green card that is such a valid thought and concern because pe this happens a lot and, and in my, on my end, my husband, I don't, he, he said I was kind of worried about that, but he knew I
came from a well off family. So it's not that I was trying my American dream here. I mean, granted I was because living in Brazil, you imagine what it is like to be in Hollywood? You know, that's what people imagine is that all of America's Hollywood until you get here and you're like, no, there's lots of empty spaces go to Nebraska. That's where my husband's from.
So anyway, I chose this because I wanted to experience life and I wanted to. Now I see kind of put to the test, everything that I had been given so easily. And recently I heard a quote that I was like, this is so my motivation is that I would rather eat a hot dog that I made than eat somebody else's filet mignon. This is, has been my quest for the last 12 years.
Really is I want to work for this. I want to know what it's like. And that puts me in such a unique position to turn around and mentor people. Now I see because I'm not a rag to riches story and not to take away from that because that has its own power and its own you know, worth. But it's also showing people another side of the story, you know, and possibilities and also showing me how I have been able to understand so many things about myself by putting myself in distress that I wouldn't
have understood otherwise. So I wouldn't have been able to uncover these things about myself and then say, oh heck yeah, I am empowered, not because this was fed to me, you know, or given to me on a silver platter, but because I chose the hard and I pulled myself through it. So what I would say for somebody that doesn't know where to start with this is that I wanna encourage people to start a love story with themselves because I feel like that's what I was doing unbeknownst to myself is
that I was putting myself outside of that comfort zone to really see what I was made of. I feel like that's what I wanted to do. Oftentimes life will throw stuff at you for you to see what you're made of. And I decided I wanted to take up on that challenge myself, you know. So I, I wanted to go through what everybody else around me maybe was going through already with life.
And, and that's really the steps that I outline in my book and everything that I talk about is that it starts with a love story because oftentimes we're looking for this change or we're looking for this fulfillment outside of ourselves. So that's why we look for the perfect partner or we look for the perfect life or the perfect job and that fulfillment never happens.
And in my experience that has to do with the fact that you haven't allowed yourself to meet yourself and tough experiences will present those opportunities, but it's still a choice for you to go there. So the first step in my mind is really noticing that there is a person inside of you. It's really easy to go about life and forget that there is a person inside of you because you have goals, you have expectations that are put on you.
If you have a job, if you support your family, whatever it is, you forget that you have natural talents and natural desires. So I would say, starting with that, I would say starting with that, and understanding just like, just like how you would have a crush on someone and all of a sudden they stand out in the crowd, like you may have seen that person several times.
But then at one point for whatever reason you're like, oh, my gosh. I actually think I like this person and you don't know why and then you start paying attention to the way they dress. You start getting interested in, what are your favorite things? When is your birthday? Start that process with yourself? What do I actually like? Who am I? Actually, this is really the process of personal development.
You can develop into something else until you understand where you are. So it's carefully analyzing and intentionally analyzing who you are right now. And then the next step is listening, not only to the things that you tell yourself because there's things playing constantly. Obviously, you know, if anyone has ever heard about inner talk, inner thoughts, inner dialogue and what people have told you about yourself, because I feel like that is insightful too, even if it's not
a true depiction because it's their lens, right? A lot of it is the way you are portraying yourself. So some of it can give you insights when people tell you you're so good at this. It may be something that you're not aware of, but it takes somebody else from an outside perspective telling you that to be like, you're right. I actually do enjoy this. Therefore, it is effortless to me. So that helps with, you know, career choice or like when you were saying people in that program said now,
visualize where you wanna be and you're like, oh my gosh, I can't even visualize past this. I'm grateful for right now, right? So how and I feel like many people have a hard time visualizing what they want, you know, where would you like to see yourself in 5, 10 years? Gosh, darn it. I just hope I'm alive and I'm not struggling.
Jenn Junod
You know, that is, you're, you're, you're mentioning so many things that are that are really hitting home that especially the inner dialogue. I feel like so many of us, at least I know for myself. I used to not realize that your mind is always going. I, I remember as a kid, I don't know if I overheard somebody talking about meditation or, but I got it stuck in my head that I really wanted to shut off my mind.
But I didn't like meditation is like, how to like let it go. But I couldn't shut off my mind and it always drove me insane. And it wasn't until I started doing these self development courses to realize and just observe the conversations that are going on in my head of for example, it used to be about how horrible I was or like a lot of the conversations were what I have been told growing up.
And that is something that my therapist told me is not my voice in my head. I'm like, basically playing a reel of someone else's voice. And a another part that you're, you're really that really, really, really, really, really, well, let's put a lot of really with that one Hit home was when people mention things that you may be good at and you don't realize that really happened to me during my journey.
In the fact of everyone has always told me I'm outgoing or I am a very strong leader and I never believed them because I didn't know my own self worth because I didn't love myself. I didn't know that journey. I didn't know what I liked because for me, I always clung to a new boyfriend or a new friend or because if I mold into who I think that they want, then they'll love me more and I won't be alone.
And it was the first time that it really, there I go with the wheelies again. Hit me was in this one of these courses. It was the very first day of a group of people and you all stand around in a circle and you have to go to every person, look them in the eye and say you live or you die and only you can only say that you live to two people. So, out of a group of 15, we all had to go through it.
Only two people lived like the ones with the most votes you could say. And I was one of those two people. And so it's basically, you're all on a ship. You two are the only two people that lived. So you have to write a letter to, the families of the people that died of what you're gonna do with your life. Wow. And I was so overwhelmed with guilt. I was so overwhelmed with guilt when my, one of my best friends passed away in high school, like she lit up a room and was always there for everyone and
really impacted my life. That why did she die and not me. And like it shows up in, it showed up in other ways of I've always really loved bright colors and sparkly things and I never felt that I was worth wearing those type of things because it brought attention to myself or taking care of myself because I didn't think I was worth it. And it's taken a lot to go that I love having purple hair and I love wearing sparkly overalls and it's ok to be different and be myself and learning to have
more alignment because I'm learning who I am. And another part that really stuck out to me about what you were saying. And I've always had this in my head and it still can and come up of if someone is educated, if someone is wealthy that I'll put them on a pedestal or vice versa, I've seen, I mean, anybody can be entitled. So I do want to say that but a lot of times it can be educated or wealthy people that are very entitled.
And I want to really like, call that out that you were like, no, I wanna go find these challenges because you were like, I, you wanted to be able to relate to everyone else. And I think that is so beautiful and thank you for doing that because it shows others that you're, I guess in my head, the best way I'm thinking of it is that you're more human, you're not, you know, this like make believe thing that, you know, is not attainable and something that really hit me was you kept saying
putting yourself in stress. I myself probably wouldn't do that. I'd be like, yeah, no, but I went to Peru and I really wanted to see Rainbow Mountain and it was the hardest challenge that I have ever done because it of the altitude and I've always been very asthmatic yet. I put myself through that challenge and the cold and everything because I really wanted to do it.
Now, if I say I put myself through that stress, I think I'd scare away from it. I'm, I'm not sure why that word change for myself, changes the mindset a bit. Yet. Going back to what you were talking about overcoming that challenge. I, that was the first time in my life that I ever felt so proud of myself and I felt empowered to do anything. I was like, I'm at the top of this fucking mountain that so many people can't make it to the top of or are getting donkeys to ride them up.
I made it to the fucking top. And so when I go through really hard challenges, I go, this isn't as big as Rainbow Mountain. I got this. Yeah, it's, it's definitely something that I just, I love how you talk about it that putting yourself in those situations. I do want to bring it back down to a, a bit about many of us are in our darkest, darkest, deepest days are also just trying to find, you know, our bare minimums.
Where's our next meal coming from? Where is our shelter coming from? And I've been in those situations and life seems a bit hopeless. Do you have any suggestions on where we start from there? Especially with everything seeming so destitute.
Marta Spirk
Yeah. Well, and I, I was my next thing after talking about listening was talking about forgiveness and then it was beautiful that you shared by the way, I love this exercise of the boat and who gets to live and wow, that is huge. That I mean, what would you say to those families? And then you connecting back to the story about your friend and how you felt like it should have been you.
And then what is my place? And also what you said about feeling proud of yourself. I feel, I feel like in many ways, the reason why I did what I did and it's a constant, I think, evolving reflection of what was I thinking, you know, is that I, I wanted to feel proud of myself. And I wanted to really be what people were already seeing on me, just like what you're saying, people tell me these things.
And I'm like, no, I don't see that. And a lot of it had to do with your past experience of let me hide because I'm, I don't deserve being here, right? And for me, it was kind of similar with people telling me certain things and even with me having triplets instantly, I am admired. They don't even know how I treat these Children or what I do. You know, my, my house could be a dump.
But if I tell them that I have triplets, they already see me as superwoman. And that also has bothered me because it's almost like, no, I need to earn this. I didn't ask for triplets for one for two. I need to kind of feel like I earned the right to be admired. And so a lot of me doing other things and I know it's, it was more for me than for others. It was me feeling like I was this person that everybody perceives me to be.
But anyway, so just comment back when all the amazing things that you said, I feel like and it goes beautifully because this, this was my next step was forgiveness in whatever it is that anyone is experiencing. Now, that is challenging. That is a difficult time. Besides reminding yourself that's actually the step after forgiveness of other hard times that you did overcome like, oh, this is not Rainbow Mountain.
I got this like that is that is the definition of empowerment is reminding yourself of other times that you felt like what you feel right now, you know, but before that there's this other step which is forgiving yourself, forgiving yourself for being where you are and forgiving circumstances that you can control and really reflecting on that because it's just like, oh OK, whatever forgiveness.
But what if you actually took the time to ask yourself, how am I being nasty to me right now? Again, we don't usually take the time. I think if we're in this personal growth journey, it's easier. But if not, then it's not something that just crosses your mind like I am not being my friend right now. That's, that's not a thing I'm I I need to go work, right?
But if you're actually being intentional is how can I allow myself to feel things without judgment because there's so much judgment at all times, I'm feeling this but it's bad. Right. So then you don't allow yourself to actually go through it to understand why that's even there and because we're so busy with everything else. So why would you take time to reflect and then allow yourself to look at things that you can't control because we're talking so much about taking
responsibility. But there are things that you can't take responsibility for because they did not originate in you. They were just the cards that you were dealt with, right? So instead of choosing resentment for that thing is just actually forgiving its existence and it's happening, you know, and then the final step within this forgiveness is forgiving people, right?
forgiving. I, I feel like that's the hardest part but, and that's usually where we start. I don't wanna forgive this person. But before you even get there is how is this a reflection of me not forgiving myself? Because back to what I was saying about the levels of consciousness, once you understand that you are everybody, right? And that's really, really hard to be like we're all this one thing but different kind of manifestations of this thing by different angles and different
filters of that. Then it's like, would you really the infamous treat somebody else in a way that you wouldn't want to be treated yourself? Or the cliche resentment is giving somebody else poison and, or giving yourself poison and hoping they're gonna die. I don't know. You know what I mean? That whatever, yeah. Yeah. Is we don't understand how far these negative feelings that we are in control of affect our situation.
And I know this is very abstract to, to your point of somebody that is really not knowing where the next meal comes from. But that's the thing though is that we fail to understand how much our energy and our thoughts actually impact our reality because they are really are just a projection of what's inside of us.
So if you start working on that, which is what people talk about. Law of attraction, manifestation, prayer, whatever it is that you want to call it is that is actually more powerful than your actions because your actions originated there.
Jenn Junod
There's a lot to unpack there. For number four, I do with forgiving yourself. I do want to call out another podcast, the Jordan Harbinger show. I think it's episode number seven and it talks about suffering and how one part of suffering that we don't necessarily realize that we're consciously doing is judging ourselves for the suffering.
Such as I like you can get into a car crash that can really disrupt your entire week. Especially for you, if it's like something that only specifically holds the, the triplets that, you know, having that type of experience can make you very frustrated, very stressed out, very anxious, financially everything. And then in that example, than judging yourself for having those feelings when you've overcome so much.
And I think that is a learning that really, really allowed me to realize when I'm having bad moments or I am, I have anxiety. I'm bipolar type two. I have depression. This is something that I'll be working on my entire life. And when these moments happen, forgiving myself and not judging myself for it has been extremely hard and it can be as little as I will call myself out for it.
I was like 20 minutes late to our interview today and I was not functioning this morning and I just need to go OK, cool. Like yes, these are things I want to improve on yet going. Let me still continue on and move on from it instead of guilting myself about it. And for the forgiveness step of others, it took me a very long time to realize I can forgive them. That doesn't mean that they need to be in my life with a especially with my father. I think the like for the final part about
consciousness that we are all one. I personally am still very, very much struggling with that because people like my father who are very nice narcissistic gas lighting could give two shits about anybody else and he manipulates so much. It's hard for me to go. I came from that and he destroys everything in his path and like, no, thank you. So I think those type of things are definitely something that I struggle with. Could you recap the five steps for empowerment for us real quick?
Marta Spirk, Jenn Junod
So I haven't talked about the last one but we got another one.
Jenn Junod
Let's go with that. Yeah.
Marta Spirk
Well, because I notice love story with yourself. Listen, the inner talk and what people have told about you, not as final truth, but just as insight, forgive yourself and then empower yourself, which you brought it up, which was reminding yourself of other difficult times that you've overcome and how you're still, you still got it. You're still here and you've done this before, right?
And then the final step is transform yourself, which the reason why it's the very last one is because you've gone through this entire thing and you are already transforming, but not into somebody else. You're transforming into a more self, self accepting version of yourself. And that's the ultimate transformation really is you taking the time to look at you and to love you and to embrace you.
And that's where I feel like it is so much easier to then go through the steps again because it's a constant cycle in my mind and then start forgiving other people because you're like the reason why you are nasty. The reason why you are narcissistic. The reason why you destroy everything is because you don't love yourself. So how could you possibly love anybody else?
And then it's not out of pity, but really out of compassion. If only this person knew what it was like to experience what I have been struggling so hard and working hard at understanding myself and why I do the things I do and how I can become a better person. So that this trickles down into my life and ripples into the people that I surround myself with. So that is the final step, which really is not final because even throughout the day, you're going through the whole, through the
whole cycle. But it's that idea that I am fully empowered now because I've gone like I have a client that says I forget there was three steps that it was like shed your shit, own your shit. I think there was a first one. It was kind of like acknowledge, acknowledge that it's there, let go of the stuff that doesn't serve you and really own the entire process that there are things that are not pretty but you have to address them because they're not just magically going to go away.
Jenn Junod
I like that. I like that and I know that soon we're gonna be wrapping up on time. So we started with that. The word empower is kind of this like trendy word that everybody uses and it's been very diluted and kind of bullshit. Yet the word itself originally to, to really start changing that and empowering yourself starts with anywhere from, you know, putting yourself into challenges and not just accepting things as they come to you. And then let's see if I can recap all the five steps
we got listening to like what's going on and then we have so first notice. No notice. Ok. Notice. Yeah. So like could I say, observing? Yeah. Sure. OK. OK. Cool. One is noticing or observing two is listening to what other people are saying and to your own thoughts, would you say that's also where you kind of like start to learn what you like yourself? Yes. Oh Yeah. OK. OK. And then number three is forgive yourself. OK.
Marta Spirk, Jenn Junod
Number four is forgive others within the forgiveness for is empower yourself
Jenn Junod
or is empower yourself? And that's when you go and like for me, it was rainbow mountain of I've been through this shit. I got it and then five is transformed. Yes, you got it. OK? We're gonna say that one more time. So we got notice slash observe. two is listen, three is damn.
Why am I like? is forgiveness? Four is empowerment and five is transform. You got it. Yes, we got there. Now. What are what something is there anything that we left on the table that you wanted to specifically talk about today?
Marta Spirk
Oh gosh, I feel like we covered so much and we talked about all the five steps which sometimes I don't get all of them in. I feel like we did it all. I usually end stuff with a quote that really got me started in this journey and that I hold very dear to my heart. it is a, she's a British poet. and she talks a lot about self love and one of her quotes and her name is Della Hicks Wilson if I not say it wrong, but she says, see your beauty without a compliment and without a mirror.
And I have held that dear because of my personal experience of wanting so much that external validation of wanting people to tell me things and then understanding that that doesn't mean anything if I don't see it myself. So encouragement out there for people to start this journey, not for anyone else, but starting with you because it will impact people around you too.
Jenn Junod
Thank you for that. And I feel like you just answered words of wisdom, which is gonna be the next question. And I, I do want to call out that this is a human experience, not just a your book and your focus is on women yet to all the men out there or you know, non binary or anybody listening to this, these are all steps that you can take as a human and definitely gives you a starting point.
Now, for everybody listening, if you're enjoying our podcast and really want to support, please share your favorite episode, follow on social media and donate all the links will be in the episode notes. And how do people reach out to you, Marta?
Marta Spirk
Well, you can find me anywhere on social media or just go to my website March spark.com. That's spirk. Some people tend to call me Spark or Sparks, but that's not how you find me. It's with an I and just, or search on social media, Mars Spark and or also on my podcast, the Empowered Woman podcast.
Jenn Junod
Awesome. Thank you. And very last but not least, what is something that you're grateful for?
Marta Spirk
Oh, gosh, I would have to say I'm grateful for my Children because they have been the biggest teachers I believe in the biggest mirrors for me to continue this process of understanding myself because I see lots of things in them and I relive my childhood and there's just so much there, so much wealth that I can get from them. And I'm grateful that even though it's hard, it is even more intense and even more learning with there being three of them at the same time, I love that.
Jenn Junod
And I'm not one I don't have Children and I'm learning to be around kids like my friends are starting to have kids and I'm like, kids are terrifying because I, I'm always afraid I'm gonna break them. Like because I don't know how to be around them and learning. And I just love how so many parents have talked about that. It's a reflection of themselves.
So you learn so much about that. So thank you for calling that out and something that I'm grateful for or would be just the challenges that I've gone through because they made it so that way I am who I am today and can share this podcast with others. So thank you Marta for being on the show today and talk soon. Thank you. Bye.
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