S1 E20 Shit2TalkAbout Band Life with Bill Marcks Authority Zero
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S1 E20 Shit2TalkAbout Band Life with Bill Marcks Authority Zero.mp3
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Jenn Junod
Hey, Bill. Thanks for joining. Shit. You don't want to talk about what's some shit you want to talk about today?
Bill Marcks
I guess we'll go over the origins of Authority Zero and touring life and maybe perhaps how it affects the body and brain seems like a good thing to do, you know?
Jenn Junod
Yeah. And I mean, I don't think a lot of people really think about how how banded life really affects the person.
Bill Marcks
Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's, you know, we'll fast forward to when we were tour and I could go back to the roots of it later. It was, you know, me and Jason started it in 94 and then in 2001, we were on the road as early twenties in our early twenties. So basically you would drive, you know, 4 to 12 hours to get to the venue you'd load in. do a sound check, then you'd go back to the hotel or if you had no hotel, you go take a nap in the van. So your sleep hygiene was very poor, which if you know anything about
mental health, that's terrible. So, and the writer we had was let's see, a case of beer, a bottle of Yeager and a bottle of Jamison. That's just to get this the night going, you know, like, yeah, yeah, because then we would, we would drink that pretty much before the show and then after the show you'd have fans buying you booze and you buy your own. So, I mean, I quit drinking about 15 years ago now, but back then we were super drunk dude.
Jenn Junod
Oh wow. All right. So that's definitely something we'll go into a little deeper. And for people listening. because as I say in a lot of episodes, we have people that listen and then they also see the show if they want to check it out on youtube. So a couple of different ways to listen. And one thing that I do wanna recap here is Bill and I met when we were working at an old company together, a tech company and little did I know I was like, I've heard of Authority Zero.
I loved their music. And my partner Tyler has told me multiple times that Bill was one of the founding members and I was like, ok, cool. Never registered. And then about a week ago I was like, oh, shit, Bill's one of the founding members.
Bill Marcks
We could come on the show for sure. Yeah, I have plenty of stories. Plenty of stories. Some of them, some of them I can't tell but most of them. Yeah.
Jenn Junod
And, and that's like, and just talking about because I feel like so many people don't look at behind the scenes of being in a band and what it does to you and then life after a band. And so how did you guys get started?
Bill Marcks
Well, we were just kids like Jason was 15, I was 16 and we were hanging out in Mesa and I had about four songs done. My friend Jerry Douglas Jerry was Jason's buddy Jason was visiting because he didn't live in Mesa. He came from Wyoming but he was staying with his father. He was really good at writing lyrics and hooks. So II I asked him to be part of the band and then we, we took off from there.
We used to play multiple gigs a night for many years in our early, I'm sorry, in our early twenties, maybe like 19 to 23. And we started getting noticed. So we recorded a demo with Craven Moorhead who used to be on the edge. But now he's over on 98 Kupd doing go punk yourself. So, we, we recorded an album with not an album. Well, it was an album but it was an ep it was just a demo and they were spinning at spinning it at the edge.
So back in the day, they had this thing called bds, which is a broadcast digital system. So labels were seeing that we were being constantly spun with no label. So, Craven and Nancy Stevens, who was the program director of, of, the Edge back in the day got us a bunch of scouts that came out for labels and then we got, signed to Lava Atlantic Records and, you know, we ended up touring the, the whole world. Really?
Jenn Junod
Was that always your dream to tour or was like, you always wanted to be a rock star?
Bill Marcks
Well, yeah, it's like I just had this feeling that I would work anyways when I was sitting in Mexico one time I was wasted. Of course. But what we, we had all our stuff, just all our things in a row, all our ducks in a row. And I'm like, no, we're just gonna, you know, be a rock star. I'm just gonna be a rock star. I just knew I was gonna do it.
And, my mom's like, well, why don't you still go to a college so that you have something to fall back on. So I did that and got a degree in Spanish and in case I wanted to interpret, teach or, or translate. And then right after college, I graduated in 2001, we got signed and then we toured the nation, the world.
Jenn Junod
So, what was that like when you guys got signed? And I, you know, in the movies or you hear about people when they go to get signed. So the band may break up because you know, so they may like someone more than others. So what was that experience like? Was it like instant, like day later you guys are signed or?
Bill Marcks
Oh no, it took us many years of struggling to get there for sure. Right before that, I took the demo with my friends with, with authority Zero down to Rocky Point and I, and I negotiated with via Del Mar there, which is a, it's got a swim up bar and it's a hotel. So I negotiated two weeks of room and board so that we would just play on the weekends there.
And so we stayed down in Mexico for a couple of weeks and this was strategic because the different spring breaks for different colleges and schools occurred at different times. So next thing you knew our demo was in California and Colorado and New in New Mexico cause everyone came there and we were, and you saw our lo our stickers all over.
And everyone knew me as chuo the, the cool white guy down there because I, like I stayed down there. The rest of the boys went up during the week and me and my brother just stayed down cause I took two weeks off of work or whatever I was doing at the time. I just lived as a Mexican down there. Nice, nice.
Jenn Junod
And like, what, what, how, how did you get through the grind? Because that's a hard, you said for years it wasn't until you were what, 20 threeish when you guys got found and high school.
Bill Marcks
That's a, we had a shit ton of shit, ton of energy and to be quite honest, a shit ton of booze. So that was what, that was our muse, you know, like that was Jim Morrison's muse as well. So that was our thing. We were known as a party band, you know, and everyone loved when we would come through, everyone get wasted the bars, loved us too, you know, cause that sold a lot of alcohol as well.
Jenn Junod
So, right. And what did everybody play?
Bill Marcks
Do you mean instrument wise? OK. I played guitar, my buddy Jeremy, who I'm now playing in a new band called Cerro Viejo, which means Old Zero. He played bass, Jason Devore, he was on V vocals and then Jim Wilcox was on drums.
Jenn Junod
OK. And, and so tell us a little bit about the new band because I remember right before we, started recording, you told me why. And I really relate to that part.
Jenn Junod, Bill Marcks
So, zero, old Zero, we started about five years ago.
Bill Marcks
I mean, me and Jeremy, everyone toward the end had a falling out of the old school crew, but we all buried the hatchet since. And, me and Jeremy had recorded about three songs already. Me and Jeremy and on our, on our friend's show, he's a really talented drummer, that plays with pretty much every band in the valley constantly. We put down three songs and then, like I was telling you before, you know, I had those two incidents with hypothermia in the hospital or I ended up in the
hospital where it's like your salts are too low. So you almost go into a seizure. You feel like you're drunk all that good stuff. And that was attributed to Lexapro, which I was on since I was 22. Then they threw me through a gambit of different Ss. Sris and SNRIs to try to figure out how to stabilize me once again because I was so used to, Lexapro ended up, I ended up admitting myself to mental joints twice.
The second time I actually seemed to work to stabilize me because I was, having, you know, suicide alleviation, things like that. I knew there were fantasies and I wouldn't fall through with them but I couldn't get them out of my head. because it also coin coincided with, with the divorce I was going through.
Jenn Junod, Bill Marcks
I figured I'll talk about it on this show because it makes sense, you know, I mean, it's, it's shit.
Jenn Junod
No one wants to talk about like mental health and, you know, checking yourself in going through a divorce like that is hard shit. But that is not something that, you know, a lot of people do talk about. They, they hide it.
Bill Marcks
So it's, it's taboo and it's kind of nice that you bring it to the forefront because it's like I'd rather more people did that and, you know, like my cousin recently, you know, kill yourself or anything like that, you know, I'd rather you go take care of yourself, you know, so 100% 100%.
Jenn Junod, Bill Marcks
So you, I, you got the help the second time and yeah, and then I, I'm pretty, I'm pretty much stable.
Bill Marcks
I'm functional. I'm going to, I'm back to work full time playing music. I'm doing jiu Jitsu, Brazilian jiu jitsu. I'm back in the gym, I'm training for a half marathon. And, but I did decide we needed to cover Mother's Little Helper by the Rolling Stones, which is a song about 19 sixties women who I believe it was val, you
know, it was a different drug but it's something like Valium that everyone was on and overdosing because doctors were handing it out, like candy. it's, here I'll look it up.
Jenn Junod
It's, I'm like, now I'm, like, wondering, because I know wasn't LSD, really popular about that.
Bill Marcks
It was, but this is more of like a Benzo or a barbiturate of some sort. but, you know, it just struck home with me because of all the rigmarole. I've been through psychologically and medically. so we, you know, got together, me and Jeremy and Joe put down the drums, the bass and the guitar and Jason, the old, singer from a, well, the singer from Authority Zero. He's still doing it, came in to, to, record it with us and the, the, the hook is what a drag it is getting old because we're all
getting older and, mother's little helper that he, he, he refers to the little yellow pills to get her through her day. And I'm like, that's me all day with this nonsense. They got me on for an hour to keep me stable eventually. I probably will taper off. But, I'm not doing that right now. Not, not because I'm still kind of going through the divorce and all that bullshit.
Jenn Junod
So, yeah, and I mean, like mental health, like in general and when people talk about the, the pill cocktail or your drug cocktail, like, I think it's something that so many people don't realize that a, it's so different for each individual, the long term effects on people, aren't 100% like, figured out yet because, like, as you were saying, if, because you were on it for 20 years, like, your brain was dependent on it and probably formed around it.
And, like, for myself, I have, I had adverse effects when I was on when they put me on Zoloft when I was a teenager. And like, so there's, but now I don't know what I would do without my, daily medications because it helps me with my bipolar. It helps me with, you know, my depression anxiety and a DH D.
Jenn Junod, Bill Marcks
So, you know, we all have, I know, I know for sure.
Bill Marcks
I know. Yeah.
Jenn Junod
But, what one thing that we were starting to talk to is so what was it like you guys worked so hard for so many years and yes, it was the booze and the energy and, you know, loving the music that kept you guys going. What was it like when you guys were, were found?
Bill Marcks
Right? So when we first got found, we, I'll tell the forementioned a four story, a story that occurred right before we signed with Lava, we went to Vegas because, Roadrunner Records was interested in us and they gave us a handshake deal. Roadrunner Roadrunner Records did like, New B the Bloodhound Gang and all that stuff. They were in Slayer, they were off, they didn't do Slayer, but they were off of that label.
But Lava came with a bigger offer. So we went with them. So that was kind of, I don't know, we probably should have went with the first offer, but it was nice. So basically we closed the deal for about $3.2 million for them to do our promo and all that good stuff and signing you know, they gave us about 80 K A pop as a 22 year old, 23 year old.
Jenn Junod
Was that to start?
Jenn Junod, Bill Marcks
So when you guys get signed, you get all this money and then this is the old way things were, this doesn't happen anymore.
Bill Marcks
OK. Yeah. No, they gave us that. It's called in advance and then, and then what it is is that you sell enough pieces. I think ours was about a, I think we had to get to a gold record which is 500 pieces before you even broke even that you would get, you would get money back after you've paid for that $3.2 million. They put into promotion to studio production to your to your advanced et cetera.
They, they even gave us per D MS of like 500 a week and put us up to go record out in, in Burbank and, and we used to literally drink over at dimples, which was across the street from Jay Leno. And people would always go there to get famous and we would drink them out of all the acre every night.
Jenn Junod
So Jager.
Bill Marcks
Oh no, Jason was on it. Jason was loving that shit and it just, that's what we stuck with and we would just drink bot literally bottles of it.
Jenn Junod
I would say the only time that I've enjoyed Jaeger is when I spent some time in Romania, they would do a shot of Jager with an orange slice. It actually, yeah, like it actually like balanced out and tasted OK. But the, the rest of it, no, thank you. And for anybody listening. Yes, we are talking about alcohol and you know, those type of things, please skip forward through this if it's, you know, triggering you or anything because I mean, that's a part of many people's lives but, and a
pass of bills and I know I used to party a lot but for anybody listening, like we, it's not something that we're, we're wanting to highlight. It's only a just, just the past.
Bill Marcks
As a matter of fact, I haven't had a drink in over 15 years now. So I mean that, you know, I finally did quit eventually on my own. So,
Jenn Junod
yeah, thank you. And what year? because that, that makes me curious of how you left. But I have questions before of how you left and then became sober and all of that.
Bill Marcks
So I was sober the last two years I was with him and that's half the reason I left.
Jenn Junod
Oh, wow. Ok. Ok. So we have some, some interesting parts to go through. so you guys got signed and then how did the tour start? And what was that life? How did that change? Were you still in a van?
Bill Marcks
Oh, yeah, we were, we were in a 15 passenger van with a, a 10 ft trailer, but actually we even had an RV at one point that fell apart. So most people just use those 15 passenger vans or. Now nowadays the new kids use the sprinters, the Dodge sprinters. But no, yeah, you would be driving, 4 to 12 hours a day. You'd lo, you'd lo load in for sound check at like four, you maybe get some dinner.
but then like, I think maybe we covered it, not to glamorize it, but we would have a, you know, a case of beer and a bottle of Yeager and a bottle of Jamison just to start off the night. Yeah. Yeah, we keep drinking until dawn every night and then you get up in the, or one guy stays sober enough to, to drive to the next town 12 to 14 hours, which is terrible on your sleep, your sleep hygiene in your twenties.
You're definitely more resilient, but it does catch up with the best of us. That's why you see so many of those deaths in the, in rock, in, not just rock but in the, the entertainment industry, you know, it's like they keep going as hard as they did in the twenties, in their fifties and that, or even sometimes 27 it looks like that was the 27 club that killed a lot of them.
Jenn Junod
Yeah. What was it like when? So how did you go from, you know, going everywhere in the van to going international?
Bill Marcks
Well, we did all 40. I, I never made it to Alaska. They literally just got there now and Jason is the only one original member left with four with three other dudes who are all cool. But they finally got to Alaska. We went to all 49 states, you know, besides Alaska and all of Canada and me, we did a little bit of Mexico then after that, when toward 2008, when I went to, I, I went with them.
We, we went to Tokyo Osaka, we went to, we did a Japanese run for three weeks, which was just awesome. And that was a lot of fun. We went with less than Jake and they taught us different phrases that you have to say because Japanese audiences are respectful and they won't make noise unless you tell them to and they, yeah, af after you play a song, you'd have to be like s you know, sage like make noise, moto moto more, more like so bless and Jake kind of gave us some tips on that, you know.
But when we were in Osaka, of course, there's a bunch of marines. So that, that's when you knew that they were Americans because they're yelling and, and, and having a good time. So it's the different culture there, you know. Yeah, I did, I didn't make it to the Euro runs. That happened after I left in 2008. But the next crew did, they got to all the European joints. I, I've been to Europe but not with the band.
Jenn Junod
So, yeah, what was it like having your audiences grow? Because like, you know, you were probably, when you started out with, it was really, really small gigs, smaller venues and then as you get more famous, it's, I would only imagine bigger venues.
Bill Marcks
Yeah, that was the cool part to watch it grow locally. You know, we started in and, you know, we wouldn't have many people, maybe our friends, maybe our family, little bit by little bit people, you know, either liked it or told their buddy about it. So it kind of grew on its own. And then when you, when we were on the radio, all of a sudden everyone showed up, you know, because they're like, who, who the hell is, who is this on the radio?
And then it came kind of kept stacking from their, from word of mouth and at the time, myspace and oh my gosh, I miss myspace blogs and you know, college radio stations picked this up. People were asking if they could use our music in like college classes projects, things like that because of that. Like I said, because we had done, you know, 5000 copies to hand out Mexico when we were playing down there.
So it was cool to see it grow and then it was even more immense when we like went on radio tour like Warp tour, we went on and a lot of radio gigs we were doing with like I don't know Boxcar Racer, which is Travis Barker, one of his other bands, not Travis. What the hell am I saying? No, it's the other guy from Blink. I'm, I may get shot for not knowing this.
Jenn Junod
I'm like horrible at remembering names like Tyler will play a song and be like, who is this?
Jenn Junod, Bill Marcks
And I'm like, oh, I don't know Tom Delong that Tom Delong.
Bill Marcks
I was gonna kick myself but you know, they were playing before us and they got, they got booed off stage because the people wanted to see us. 18,000 people. I felt bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because we were like the local heroes edge fest and they're like booing them because they're good. But they're just kind of like low energy and when we would play, man, like, places would just get destroyed because it wasn't a bad energy.
But it was like everyone was just so energized that everything came up, the, the barriers, they never had enough security, like trash cans were getting, we're getting crowd surfed. It's just what we did when we came through town, you know. Oh, my gosh.
Jenn Junod
I wish I, I was able to see that. I went to one war tour and it was amazing. But, you know, that was, I don't, well, maybe you guys were still touring and I saw you because I think it was 2007. Did you guys ever play war tour in 2000?
Bill Marcks
You probably saw it then? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I remember Denver because if you look it up 2007 for Denver, we had a huge pit and Jason almost got arrested because he, he went up the pole, the light pole and he was getting the crowd going. That's how bad ass he is. You know, he took a page out of Eddie Vedder's book where he was just the, the energy bomb.
also when, when you play in Colorado, the oxygen's low too. So it's, it's like when you're playing that fast punk and you're singing, it was like, even when we were in good shape in our twenties. So, we played at Mile High Stadium.
Jenn Junod
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ok.
Jenn Junod, Bill Marcks
I was there, I was there, it was so cool.
Jenn Junod
Yes, I might have seen you before. I knew you. That's so crazy. That is so crazy. and for those, listeners, when we talk about like, local and that kind of stuff, I'm from Phoenix and he's from, and Bill's from Phoenix. So, Phoenix Arizona and I am, you know, he's talking about the towns and I'm just totally following along because I know them all, but it's all suburbs of Phoenix Arizona.
but that is so cool and war tour and, that, so when you talked about like, it was a few years, prior to Andy or like, you know, leaving the band, what made you, like, how long did it take for, you know, the drinking and the partying to catch up and then what made you choose to go sober?
Bill Marcks
All right. Well, in my twenties right before I got married, I was having severe, severe, I've always had it even as a child, but it was undiagnosed, but severe depression, anxiety, things like that. I was self medicating with the booze, of course, but it wasn't, it wasn't working anymore, you know, it's like I was constantly on the road, not sleeping at all.
but you were sleeping but not enough, you know. So I got on Lexapro when I was in my twenties and that helped for a bit and, and, Benzo, which was Xanax here and there, which is pretty much booze and a pill. You know, that's the same thing thats the gabba. anyways went through that as a, a loop for a long ass time. until, 2007, I wanna say I was completely hammered and, I punched through a, hotel window because I didn't have my key and almost died, like, literally almost bled out. But like
if you look people, that people think that I try to, people try to think that I try to kill myself, which I didn't, I just punched through glass and, and I bled out about four quarts. So I should probably dead. But that was the first kind of wake up thing. And then I, I still kept drinking and then there was another thing that happened where me and my brother got a real bad fight and he got real hurt and then after that I just stopped. No, no, a a or anything like that, I just stopped.
Jenn Junod
How does your body do with that? Like, after so long of drinking?
Bill Marcks
Well, that's the thing. It's like you are addicted. You know, it's, it's in my blood too where alcoholism runs in our family. a little sh, you know, shaky at first, things like that. But I, I offset it by, training for a marathon. I ran a marathon, just, you know, ran it out of myself with the dopamine and the endorphins, et cetera. And to be honest with you, I was still on the Lex Pro which was keeping me pretty fucking stale.
And if I needed it at the time, the the Xanax. So that's it, it, it isn't like you quit drinking in that aspect because you're still taking something that acts as if it were booze. It just has a longer half life. So, but you know, I quit drinking completely.
Jenn Junod
So and that was, before you met your wife or, right around the whole time.
Bill Marcks
No, we were, me and my wife used to party all the time and stuff too. And, I quit about a year. Well, no, a year after we were married, she, it probably wouldn't look like, well, it obviously didn't work out in the long run, but back then she was about to bounce already because that was a, a mess, you know. So I just gave, gave it up the last two years. I was on tour. Ok. It, it became a lot less fun or a lot less fun for me because I was, you know, in the parking lot, lifting weights or reading the
Godfather while the while because I was like the sober ride for two years while they were getting wasted till two and four in the morning. And then it's like after a bit of that, plus we weren't making as much money. yeah. And I had two kids. I was like, All right. I'm done.
Jenn Junod
You know, I just work for me.
Bill Marcks
It's kinda shattering for a bit for Jason because him and I came up together, we're, we're still friends and because you were the first one to leave.
Jenn Junod
Right.
Bill Marcks
Yeah. Yeah. Well, me and Jeremy got into a disagreement and he left first, not by his own will, but then, then it kind of was a downward spiral from there where, you know, I, I quit and then they had, since me, I think they've literally had about six guitarists. So Jason's still going and they had good guitarists and they've been through 32 bassists, 32 bassists and three drummers.
So, but Jason is still doing his damn thing. So that's good for him, you know, and those boys like Mike, Mike's real good guy, Chris, Eric, everyone's really good but my buddy still Walsh all them.
Jenn Junod
What, what is it like, just traveling with, you know, a group of people where you literally cannot get away from them. I mean, I get, I'm an only child so it's probably like even like harder for me to imagine. But like being with people from because how old were you in 2007? 2008?
Bill Marcks
I was early thirties at that point.
Jenn Junod, Bill Marcks
But it was, that's 15 years of being stuck with the I say stuck because it was, it was, it was like a family, you know, it's like, you fought but you love each, you fought but you love each other.
Bill Marcks
But there, it wasn't like a house like we were in a van pretty much the whole time because we were never mainstream enough to afford like a, a bus. Those things are like grips of money. You know, a van is very low for a budget. But you know, you're sitting 2 ft away from people that you just got in a fight with the night before and, or I may get too drunk and headbutted someone or someone, you know, shit like
that was, it was just bad news, like, not good, you know, like I started out at happy drunk but I got more violent toward the end. That's why I had to quit that shit too, you know?
Jenn Junod
Yeah. And what, so what's it like when you left and like, you know, giving up that, that lifestyle? And how did you find your way back to? I'm gonna say a quote unquote, you know, like normal lifestyle because it's different for everybody. But yeah.
Bill Marcks
Yeah, it was, you know, it was, it was like, I don't know how to explain it. It's like I didn't even know how to, it wasn't the same world at all. Like, so I substitute, taught for about three years to kind of two years to kind of make ends meet and my wife or ex-wife at the time, she was studying to become a school psychologist. And, she, that's what she is now.
you know, so I did my best to, to make dough. So we were, I'm, I'm still, I was still getting royalty checks from Authority Zero, which, which kept dwindling because it's just kind of how the industry went after a while. Like music, it doesn't pay people anymore. It just sucks. You know, like if you look up Spotify and, and royalties you'll see tons of lawsuits, et cetera.
Just, it got harder for musicians. So I was, you know, substitute teaching and then I was doing long term substitute teaching for a Spanish class. And, I couldn't just take over from the teacher. He, he got booted because he lo he missed, or he couldn't pass the aptitude test. Yeah. Arizona education educators proficiency exam. I passed it after 10 years of being out of school for Spanish and secondary ed.
But at the time it wasn't like now where there was a shortage of teachers but they, they wanted me to go through all this practicum and all this shit and then you're gonna make 35,000 a year. And I just, it wasn't gonna cut, you know, and that's what I ended up at go daddy because my dad, oh, I don't know. Whatever. I guess I'll say it. My dad found, an, an ad for jobs there for bilingual.
So that's how I got my foot foot in the door there. I was the only no, there's two whitey in there. Me and another white cat in the, in the this was before God. Daddy is as big as it was. There was only 2000 people there and, and the supervisor Martin, he was interviewing me in Spanish and my Spanish is fine. But, but a lot of those terms as you know, are kind of weird technical in the internet world.
Plus the different dialogues or dialects like in Venezuela, they'd call it a fia for like an eyebrow for a, for a tab in other, in other places like Pastano. I, I don't know, I wait no features. The my bad feature was like if you have a Domino and Pestana was what Spain called it, which is eyelashes.
Jenn Junod, Bill Marcks
But I had to like not only speak in Spanish but learn a new dialect or you know, and learn the technology and learn what the hell is he doing, you know.
Bill Marcks
And at the time, I was the only guy that spoke Portuguese there as opposed to now, they're, they're so big that they have full departments for all these languages. So I was taking care of social media stuff, office of the President before it was the office of the CEO.
Jenn Junod
Oh really?
Bill Marcks
Ok. Yeah. If they had complaints in Portuguese, I was in there. also the extended validation ssl certificates. They had me in there translating bank documents like this is, it was like back in the day though, there's like 2000 people go daddy, you know.
Jenn Junod
So yeah. And for our listeners like this is like, yes me sound super foreign, not even just the language but the tech when I said that we worked at a tech company, like literally like literally was all internet things that I mean, it was hard enough to learn in English and that's the only language I speak. It was definitely something that I was that I can only imagine learning the tech than having to put it in Spanish and into Portuguese.
And the Godaddy is now, I believe over 7000 employees at least that was like 2018 ish. And yeah, for sure. Yeah. And they actually have locations worldwide so they have locations in South America. They have locations throughout Europe, in China. So it, it is definitely something where Bill was part of the, the OG crew there too. Totally.
Bill Marcks
They called it Equipo the, the team. So, and I was Gringo Bill. That's where I got my nickname, Gringo Bill cause there's a difficult customer that I always called it and he not only did he not like my Spanish, but he didn't like other people who were actual naturals born speaking Spanish. He's like, oh great. I'm on with Gringo Bill. So Gringo Bill is what was, was my radio persona when I was doing, a show with Craven Moorhead, because he got kicked, he got booted from the edge because
the edge was no longer. So he and I did some podcast stuff I did around the world. No, I, it got Punk Passport with Gringo Bill. But that came from that. The team all knew me as Gringo Bill. You know, I was like the one or two of the white people that were in that team. So it's pretty cool.
Jenn Junod
Ok. Well, I'm glad, I also, described Authority Zero, right? Because, like, people that have heard of you or those who haven't heard of Authority Zero, I'm like, yeah, they're like sky punk and they, and they would be, they would be like, yeah, I don't listen to that. I'm like, what is wrong with you? that is what I spoke on in, in high school. So, that is, I am very fortunate, for that because it's just the feeling and the vibe and, you know, you can get anger out or you can, you know,
sing a melody to someone that is the, some of the favorite Emmy instruments, definitely brings back memories. so you transition to being, you know, a teacher and you're back into, like, being home permanently, more or less permanently. What was that like with, you know, be like, how old were your kids when you came home?
Bill Marcks
I mean, two and one. Yeah, you know, real young yet.
Jenn Junod
So, so I bet they really appreciated having you home again.
Bill Marcks
Yeah, I wanted to be home for them too because like, I remember when Liam was born I came back and he was a huge person. Almost not really. But you know what I mean? He doubled in size and like, man, I'm gonna miss these kids' life, you know. So that was another decision to come back and live with them and take care of them.
Jenn Junod
So, yeah, how was your mental health when you got back in that transition? Because that is something that I think a lot of people don't really think about. I like, for example, I got sent to work to Europe for three months and when I came back, yes, I've talked about reverse culture shock, but it was also like the changes of this is the closest thing to a tour I've ever been on is I had to move locations almost every week and live out of a hotel for three months.
So it's definitely not the same extreme whatsoever. But I know that I had a really hard time coming back to the States and being in one spot. So what was that like for you? Like that is that is a lot of travel down to like no travel.
Bill Marcks
Yeah, you'd wake up. I wouldn't know where it was like it didn't look like a, a motel six or anything like that, you know, you wake up confused a lot. you do get this, you could look this up too like a post tour. Depression like, oh, wow.
Jenn Junod
Ok.
Bill Marcks
You know, it's, it's kind of like not, I'm not gonna equate it to like being in the military or something, but you're always on an adrenaline rush. When you're out on tour, you're like up on, you're, you're performing every night. So you, you, you're getting that dopamine, you're getting the endorphins and pretty much you have withdrawal from that because you're just doing mundane shit after that. Even though it's, it's great.
You know, you're like raising your kids and you're going to a 40 hour a week job. But you're just like, wow, this is not exciting at all. So, so you bring you, you know, you have to kind of stabilize and that's why to keep things interesting. I'm still doing music now, but it's a hobby. It's not a business. It's fun still. So that keeps me from going insane, sitting at a desk eight hours a day, you know.
Jenn Junod
So, yeah, and that's a, a big reason as well that I do this as the podcast as a passion project because, yeah, one day I have, I do hope that it becomes like, it's cool nonprofit and helps individuals and, you know, make bigger change. But I'm like, I don't wanna be so, like, stuck on it, making money or anything like that because I'm like, I'm so passionate about it.
Bill Marcks
I want to give up that passion, good fucking plan because once it becomes something that's like a LLC, like our, we became, you know, like your passion is still there, but it dwindles because it turns into a business and then it becomes like, this is my job, you know. So I'm glad I like to keep both going. I like the 40 hour week crap.
Jenn Junod
Yeah. Yeah.
Bill Marcks
But I love being able to express myself with music as well as get that energy out as well.
Jenn Junod
Yeah. and really funny. My, so, I have two people that are on, like, my podcast team. Tr and Bill and then my boss at work's name is Bill. So, I started sending, Bill that's on my team. He is the business manager. So I was like, I don't think I've ever known so many bills in my life. So I sent him a lot of like dollar sign emo or like the, the cash emojis because I'm like, it's all the bills that
I'm definitely still very silly like that because I'm like, I thought it was hilarious. Nobody else really thinks that it's not funny. But, you know, I thought it was funny.
Bill Marcks
I guess I have to see it too though. You know, it's probably more funny seeing the emojis.
Jenn Junod
That is true. That is true. So, I know one thing that we did talk about too was the fact that like fast forwarding and to the last few years you mentioned, especially like checking yourself in. what was that like, like going through the divorce and then can you tell us a bit more about the lack of salt?
Bill Marcks
Yeah, so I, I that was kind of a long time coming. she just didn't dig me anymore as best as I could put it. We tried to go through the, counseling, et cetera just didn't work out. It really threw me into a really deep depression because not only was that occurring but, you know, I was on probably my fifth medication. They were trying to, they were trying to stabilize me on and then, and that's when I was still living with her.
I went to the first place and it was OK, you know, they give you the, I, if anyone's ever been in one where I could tell you how it goes, you go into the, they, assess you to see if you're a threat to yourself or anyone else. And of course I had, you know, si su suicide alleviation. I knew I wasn't gonna do it but it was just something that was like replaying, you know, like I'm gonna walk in front of this truck when I'm walking, so I don't have to deal with this shit anymore, you know.
so you go through a lot of, they try to stab stabilize, you go in there on, you know, I was, what was it? Presti at the time, I don't know, it didn't work, you know, because my body chemistry didn't function with it. But they also go through things that I've been, used to like cognitive behavioral therapy. you know, they, they suggested exercise and all that, but at that time I couldn't, because I was still freaking anxious that I couldn't even deal with anything.
And I got out and I was still super anxious, you know, then it was just over with, with the divorce and then I was living there with her, still waiting for the paperwork to come. So I was like my anxieties kept building and then I finally just moved in with my folks to my old room, which is like, what the fuck, you know. and that's where I went in the second time where I'm like, felt like I was getting too low, you know, I was like, I gotta go somewhere so they they stabilized me there and that
seems to work the best. Like so far it's been fine. I've been back at work for almost half a year, full time because I was going half time at first, you know, I just kind of slowly getting back into it and then, you know, after the divorce, I started hitting the weights, started running again to balance myself out. But I'm in Brazilian JJ you know, I started seeing a woman, that I've known for 20 years paige and she's helped me out of a lot of dark spots.
So, and, you know, one day at a time, like the, cliche, you know, like I said, I never, I've never been in an, a, a meeting, but I did buy myself a 15 year chip when I had 15 years on it and a 10 year and I did go to one meeting for my buddy who does to attend those just to see because he needed a ride. And it was interesting. I just haven't, I don't know, it wasn't for me, but a lot of people use that as a way to get o get over the addiction.
Jenn Junod
You know, I think one thing that you mentioned that I'm, I feel like a lot of people can relate to and then there's a lot of people that have never gone through it, of what anxiety feels like. And I know for myself it's a really weird feeling like I feel it in my body itself. Like I feel it in my arms and my chest and they're just like, really tense and I'm always, I think the easiest way to say it is, I'm so worried about what other people are thinking or something like what it, what's gonna
happen or like or I there's times where I just feel it and I'm feeling really anxious and I know that I can tell I'm anxious but there's no cause like I can't figure out the, the root cause of it. And for some reason for myself, figuring out the root cause or the trigger would make me feel better cause I'm like, at least I can fix that.
But there's times where I can't even figure out what the root cause is and I'm still feeling it and it's almost like if you were to considered like you either freeze fight or flight, it's almost like I'm in flight mode but I have no idea why.
Bill Marcks
Well, I've been through it so much that because I did the testing because they're trying to figure out the low salts and then I had super high cortisol and that's what that is what you're talking about. Adrenaline and cortisol, cortisol just keeps dumping like, and you're not, you're not doing anything differently and there's not, there's not an explanation or root cause for it because a lot of times it is just genetic.
And it's like fighting the ocean like why does the ocean keep sending waves at me? I got to get to the root cause but that's why a lot of psychiatrists have to at least try to explain it to me, you know. So, and the other thing is I'm German Irish and there's a huge they in World War one, they found that a lot of people of German descent had the panic disorders cause when they would put on, put on the gas masks, they would all start panicking.
There was nothing going on with the respiration. They checked their oxygen and everything else. It was just that it triggered a panic attack. They also say that people that do have generalized anxiety disorder or things like that, their genes tend to come from a smarter pool because that was once put in place for you to escape something that was gonna kill you constantly.
So your, your genes are doing what they're supposed to. But we live in a world now of over stimulation. So that's always firing instead of the normal circadian rhythm where we should be sleeping, laying around, going to hunt. So I, you know, techno, the, the, the way the doctors explained it to me, technology has advanced far quicker than we ever can. So our bodies are still in that fight and fight, fight and flight mode from primordial times.
A and we're just constantly stimulating it with dopamine, with social media with 24 hour news cycle. And then it just like you said, then, then all of a sudden you're, you're having anxiety. You don't even know why that makes you more anxious because then you're gonna over analyze that. Exactly. It's a loop.
Jenn Junod
It is. And, and that's something like I've mentioned this book. I'm pretty sure on like literally every pod podcast episode of your body keeps the score because a lot of times, it is something that we went through that's causing it, especially like I can only imagine. And I'm not a doctor or therapist, but you talked about the adrenaline of being on the show and I know that even when I'm about to record a podcast episode, my adrenaline goes up like, I was getting ready in the bathroom
and Tyler went to go take a shower. I'm like, you can't take a shower for 15 minutes. That's too much going on. There's too much everything, there's I need over simulated. Just give me a second. Like, don't talk to me. And that still happens. And one thing as going through and meeting people is we talked to a health coach and how she talks about it is when, when we're, you know, not dealing with you know, the anxiety and causing the high cortisol, our body's metabolism stops because we
don't actually like, relax enough to let our body metabolize because if we're in run mode, it's not gonna give us a chance to metabolize because there's so much more important things that our body needs to do. And I know for myself this last, or a few weeks ago, I went to the hos the hospital for the fourth time in like a few years and I would have symptoms of, I couldn't breathe very well, I was lightheaded, I couldn't walk, like Tyler's had to help me walk and I'd be crying nonstop and,
like, I would just, like, fall asleep and I went to the hospital and they're like, yeah, you don't have anything technically wrong with you. And I'm like, what? And they're like, it's called cros hyperventilation syndrome. Wait, what? And they're like, basically everything you're talking about is when you hyperventilate, your body, produces acid that causes all of these symptoms, like tingly fingers, my face would get tingly, all the other symptoms I just mentioned and I
was just like I could tell because as soon as he said that I started feeling better and I was like, so one thing that I've had to start working on for my own mental health is like meditation, deep breathing. and it's just crazy to me because it's, it's such a process and that's something you and I have even talked about is how hard it is sometimes to work on this and almost recover from it. And because it is a take it day by day.
Bill Marcks
Oh yeah. Yeah. The like I know all about the box breathing 444, they like the Navy Seals use that and there's another one what 578, I can't, there's so many variations of it that works really well. Like you said, the more your oxygen levels go up, the lower the cortisol goes the lower your pulse goes. I've found quick trick tricks to help me get rid of that cortisol. vitamin C is a real good one for it. proper sleep hygiene, bananas or a natural beta blocker for your adrenaline. there's
a lot of little, little hacks but what I found mostly helps me is, is exercise like in combat, like in a Brazilian jiu jitsu and it just like, I'll go there for two hours and it's more of a workout than you could get in four hours in the gym because you're literally fighting to not die from a choke. But, you know, it's all controlled, but you're also every muscle you're using, I'm so relaxed afterward because it's like the cortisol is like, cool. We, we were used for something, you know.
Jenn Junod
Exactly. Exactly. And, for those of you listening, four by four is you take four, like you breathe in for four counts and then you hold it for four counts, you exhale for four counts and you hold that exhale for four counts. Like you just hold it out.
Bill Marcks
Typically they say through the nose for the inhale and then, and then, you know, wait four seconds and then blow out four seconds through pursed lips. It was a, that's a technique the, the Navy Seals would use before a fire fight because then they would be, they'd have the advantage against someone who's hyped up and doing this where they're like, but that, you know, that's a warrior
thing but there's also 578, which is five in through the nose, seven, hold eight out slowly. And, they say do 34 times and I've done it and you, you see your pulse drop and yeah.
Jenn Junod
Yeah. And I've done it before where I'm panicking about something and, you know, I'm having an email fight with someone and then I do that and I'm like, oh, here's how I actually reply compassionately instead of, you know, being mean. And I think that's a, that's a huge part of it too. And, and I love the conversation that we've had today because it's, it's a lot that people don't talk about and how they do take care of their mental health and also like the shit people goes through when
they're on tour and, and dealing with that, especially, I think the sleep hygiene and then how to choose to finally stop drinking. Is there anything that we didn't cover today that you wanted to cover today? Hm.
Bill Marcks
Not much. I mean, if you want to check out what I'm doing now, it's Cerro Viejo. It's AC, O and then Space Viejo that just means old Zero. It's just a music project I'm doing. Bill marks.com. I'll plug, I don't know. That's, if you wanted to see what I did in my life. And Mars, my last name is Ma Rcks. It's a weird eastern German spelling other things that I would cover is not everyone was lucky enough to quit drinking.
And, there's tons of death in the music industry because I think I was talking about this earlier where in your twenties it was cool. But, you know, I know many people who died, in the music industry because they just kept going and, your body can't do that forever, you know.
Jenn Junod
Yeah. And thank you for that. Any words of wisdom or you know, anything you wanna leave the, the listeners with.
Bill Marcks
Yeah, absolutely. Don't over catastrophize things. Think try to take one step at a time in your thought process if you get too anxious and, and conquer one thing at a time. That's the best thing I can say because I'm known to want to try to conquer 13 things at the same time and that doesn't work. So
Jenn Junod
I've only tried that too many times.
Jenn Junod, Bill Marcks
So it just doesn't work for anybody.
Jenn Junod
No. What is something that you're grateful for?
Bill Marcks
I'm grateful that I'm stable enough to have had an hour long conversation with you without my pulse rate going to 168 and having a panic attack for no reason. I'm, I'm super stable now when I wasn't for two years. So I'm thankful that I was able to express myself on this podcast slash video casts and hopefully someone could take it go. I'm not alone, you know, I hope someone could go.
Whoa, ok. So if that dude who's, who's fighting people in Brazilian jiu jitsu has some fucked up shit going on, then I'm cool with it too. It's not, it's not a non tough thing to have. It's just genetic. It's, it's good that to talk about. So I'm thankful that I got to put it in words today, I guess.
Jenn Junod
Yay. Thank you. And something that I'm really grateful for is even before this and back in the day, because I think I started at Godaddy in 2015. I think by the end of 2016 is when we met and I definitely wasn't the person I am today. And you have always been kind and I appreciate that. And I think that's, that's taught me a lot over the years of people have all different life experiences and it doesn't matter where you are, where you are, you can be kind to others perfect.
Bill Marcks
And that goes along with the and they debate the origins of the phrase, but it's be kind to everyone you meet because you don't know what battle they're, they're fighting at the time. It was attributed to Plato, but it really was an older scholar.
Jenn Junod, Bill Marcks
But I'll let you guys Google that and thank you and I thank you for joining the, the podcast today and I'll talk to you later be OK.
Bill Marcks
Thank you.
We appreciate you listening to the episode, please like follow and share on our social media at shit to talk about. That is shit. The number two talk about stay tuned on Wednesdays and Fridays for new episodes. This episode was made possible by production manager, Tron Nan, business manager, Bill Powell and your host J.
