S1 E10 Shit2TalkAbout Intersectionality with Darcy Rosario
Transcript was AI generated, if there are mistakes, please let me know! Thank you in advance!
Jenn Junod
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Jenn Junod
Hey, Darcy. Thank you for joining. Sh!t You Don’t Want to Talk About. What shit do you want to talk about today?
Darcy Rosario
Hi. Thank you so much for having me on.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
And today I would like to talk about intersectionality and for our listeners.
Jenn Junod
This has literally taken us like 10 minutes to figure out how to summarize because Darcy is not like a like, you know, we are not one dimensional, we are very multidimensional. And it was actually Darcy was kind enough to talk to me like six months ago when I first started this journey of wanting to launch the podcast and taught me about the word intersectionality because I didn't even know it was a thing. So Darcy to get us started. What is intersectionality?
Darcy Rosario
I went ahead and Googled it just to make sure that I gave you guys the right definition. It's the interconnected nature of social categorization such as race, class and gender as they apply to a given individual or a group regarded as creating overlapping and interdependent system of discrimination or disadvantage. And so, basically, what that means is think about marginalized communities within our society.
You know, Black Lives Matter, we, you know, women's rights, LGBT Qi A plus dis disabled people. Latinos Muslim. Basically, we tend to look at a person and maybe put them in the one category and just think OK, well, they're disabled, they maybe go through these things because they're disabled but in our society, in the, in all these intersections.
So let's I am non-binary, I am Puerto Rican, I am disabled and all those things contribute to discrimination in, in the society. And so I don't, I don't experience them separately. I experience them all together until they compound issues like receiving appropriate medical care or being treated respectfully by service people. If I'm out in need extra help with something or just being discriminated against because of my gender or my my, my race, I'm Afro indigenous.
but I look white, but still I still struggle with all the intersections that I live with. And so people who are like are black trans women, black trans women who are disabled have the most amount of intersections and they tend to be the most neglected and most discriminated against.
And so I it's become very important for me to talk about intersectionality because a lot of people don't understand how much more difficult life can be. Having multiple aspects of your life, put you in these marginalized groups.
Jenn Junod
And thank you for that because I think that you taught me when we first talked about intersectionality because I was just at to our listeners and those watching this, I somehow fell on following Darcy on Instagram. And I just loved the fact that she would post or they see it's going to be a hard, I recently recently and I just want to call myself out on this recently, Darcy changed their gender identity.
And that is something that as, you know, a human that's not part of that, you know, I'm somebody on the outside. I still need to be respectful and work on, you know, if I say she to correct myself because that is being respectful to Darcy. And I just want to call everybody out on that because yes, there's gonna be times I slip up, there's times that we all do, especially when it's somebody that's changing something that we're used to yet.
I really do want to call out that it's, it's also our job to be respectful. So, going back to the Instagram, I somehow followed Darcy on Instagram and they were always posting about yoga and MS and, you know, gardening and I had like a gazillion followers and I'm like, who is this person? And I love how, like, honest darcy is and it, like, seriously they're like the best at social media too.
And I don't know how, like, I'm just in shock and I was like, you know, I'm just gonna like, slide into their D MS and see if they'll be on the show when it's a concept at this point. So it wasn't even like, imagine like what it would be called, right?
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
II, I talk to me.
Darcy Rosario
Yeah, I love talking to, I talked to everybody like you hit me up, I'm gonna talk to you.
Jenn Junod
I know I was firing because I was like, this person's so dope and like open like I just want to talk to them like I just wanna be friends and we found out that we're only a few hours away from each other. So I'm probably gonna go down and visit where you're at some time to hang out.
Darcy Rosario
Please do I love having, I, I love having people over and if I and I love cooking for my friends too, so I'm down.
Jenn Junod
You said cooking like I can't cook. I am I burn butter.
Darcy Rosario
So I used to be, I used to be my first career was as a chef. Like II, I got a degree in culinary management and I worked in kitchens in my late teens all the way through my twenties, part of most of my twenties. And then, and then I became a stay at home mom and then I transitioned into fitness. And after being diagnosed with MS that being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis was a catapult.
To me learning how to make my body run better and be healthier just through movement, nutrition, stress management, learning how to manage my chronic pain. and then using that information and putting it out there so that other people could learn too because when it comes down to it, Google is a cluster H and when you're first diagnosed with a disease as serious as MS, it can be really scary and you're trying to grasp for anything that's gonna help.
And I figure if my platform can be a place where I could sift out appropriate real scientific peer reviewed information that is actually shown to help you, then, then that's what I'm gonna do. And so even with my movement, even with the things that I teach through yoga, mobility, I teach neurological drills that help reduce chronic pain and help increase overall mobility.
I teach mobility drills that help reduce chronic pain and help just you be able to function throughout the day and do the things that you need to do to increase your quality of life in spite of suffering with symptoms on a daily basis.
Jenn Junod
Yeah. And that, that is so powerful because it's something that even those that don't have MS can really appreciate. I, I would let's go into MS a bit more for our listeners that don't know what that is. Can you tell us about multiple sclerosis? See, I'm not even saying it, right. How do I say it?
Darcy Rosario
Multiple sclerosis. So, sclerosis is scar and multiples more than one. But what it is is a demyelination of the central nervous system caused by the immune system attacking the myelin sheath. So the myelin sheath is this nice little fatty patting that we have on some of the nerves in our central nervous system. Some of them don't have that.
But the fatty padding helps transmit electrical signals efficiently. And when that fatty padding, that myelin sheath is eaten away by the immune system, it causes scarring causes lesions and those lesions and the inflammation are the reason that we experience the symptoms that we do. And so any part of the central nervous system can be can, can be affected by multiple sclerosis.
So imagine all the things that your brain, your central nervous system controls. So my e everyone has individual symptoms to them too. So I have friends who are in wheelchairs. I have friends who use walkers. I have friends who have gone legally blind. I have friends who have a difficult time swallowing and talking. Luckily, for me, my mobility has remained pretty intact I have left sided weakness for more lesion on the right side of my brain.
Sometimes I have speech issues from a lesion in the broken region of my brain and I have lesions on both my optic optic nerves. So I have spots where I can't see very well in both eyes. And then there are so it can affect you on a cellular level that you can't see in an MRI. So you'll have lesions in certain places. But then overall there is fatigue, there can be tremors, t problems being able to regulate your own temperature.
cog cognition issues where you can't like think of words or you can't remember things or you just have a hard time, just be being aware of your surroundings like it can manifest in a whole variety of ways. And so mine, I have con I have pain conditions too. I have optic occipital and trigeminal neuralgia. And so the trigeminal nerve runs along your face branches out and trigeminal neuralgia feels very stabby, very zings of electricity very much like I've been stabbed with
something and still in there. And the occipital nerve runs behind in the occipital area where your vision is controlled, but the nerve itself innervates the neck and the back of the head. And so the pain that I feel there is very much like I got hit in the side of the head. Yeah, I know it doesn't sound, I, I have, I've luckily found an amazing doctor and the assistant that I see for her as well is amazing.
And so we have come up with a very appropriate treatment plant that, that helps me be able to do the things and be able to take care of my kids and be able to like live a pretty good quality life in spite of suffering with chronic pain. So, wow, just, wow.
Jenn Junod
And for our listeners that I So Darcy may reply to something of facial expression. So on youtube, you'll totally be able to see what they're seeing. But if you're listening to us on Spotify or itunes or something, there may be some pauses that you're like, how did Darcy know that's what Jen was talking about?
Darcy Rosario
Oh, yeah. Ok. I mean, yeah, I need to be more cognizant of the fact that they might not be able to see what I'm doing.
Jenn Junod
No, it's totally cool. I try to let people know. So that way they, they just realize that we're, there's movement Not just listening. But so how old were you when you, ok, how did you find out that you were, you had MS and how old were you when you got diagnosed?
Darcy Rosario
So my first symptom was I started going blind in my right eye and it, I had excruciating pain, moving the eye and when everything started going, really foggy and hazy and I couldn't move my eye left or right. And I started seeing kind of like fireworks when I closed that eye. I went to my primary doctor and, she was like, well, you need to see an ophthalmologist.
I've never seen an opal. I didn't even know what an ophthalmologist was at that time. you need to go right up to the desk. You need to let them know what your symptoms are and they'll see you today. Oh, yeah. And so I, I was on an army base so the, the hospital that I went to had all the departments and I went to the ophthalmologist. I waited, I waited for a little bit and then finally a doctor came out and they were like, ok, we're gonna take you right back right now.
They ran a few tests and then he explained to me that I had optic neuritis. There was a de demyelination of the nerve and then he said that it was, it could be the first symptom of MS. And that's when I was referred to a neurologist who did all the tests. And at that point I didn't have any other lesions. So they didn't diagnose me then. But later that year, so that was July of 2012.
Later that year in December, I started having weird, like my muscles on the left side would seize up a little bit. And then when they released I would, I couldn't hold my baby. I couldn't hold my phone. I couldn't bear like my leg was dragging when I walked. And that's when I told my then husband need you to take me to the hospital. I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure I have MS and I need to have these MRI S and so I was immediately hospitalized.
They gave me MRI S my do, my neurologist came in and said, I'm really sorry, but you have MS and I told them I'm like, I knew it because it's not just the optimized I was dealing with at the time, I was also dealing with the fatigue and I was also dealing with like sensitivity in my face and like I had all these other symptoms. So I knew it wasn't just this isolated, an isolated incident with my eye.
I didn't really know what I was going to be experiencing. So it was very much like, oh no, it's all good. I'll figure it out. I got this, no worries. So I threw myself into school. I went back to school for health sciences. I got myself a personal training certification through NASIM. And then I put myself on treatment. I was injecting myself every day with copain to help modulate my immune system to reduce any progression.
Then I started having issues with the injection that was causing me. So with copain, you get an immediate post injection reaction sometimes very rare, but it makes you feel like you're having a heart attack. So I, I went, I, this was about 2015. I went to see my doctor and I said, I don't know if I want to be on any medication right now. I've got a really good diet.
Like, when it comes to my nutrition, I had found Paleo, it was working for me. my MRI S has stayed stable for a few years. So they took me off of meds and I was off of meds for five years and I actually did pretty well. I also was in a a stable relationship. I was, I was married at the time. and we own a house and I didn't have to work. I was a stay at home mom.
So life was pretty, pretty chill. So I ran a few spartan races and I ran a marathon and I got certified to teach liquid motion, which is a movement modality that uses central movement but is for pole dancers, but it's also for women who wants to get down on the floor right around and feel really he assy.
Jenn Junod
sign me up. Yeah, I feel like we need to talk about this at some point. Yeah.
Darcy Rosario
Yeah. Yeah. Well, because one of the, one of the things that ended up happening with MS is that I developed fibromyalgia and so fibromyalgia is a sensory disorder that basically our, our nerves don't respond the same way. And so we end up with all over body pain fatigue and, and you could feel stiff if you don't move enough. And so that's when movement really became important for me because it was gonna keep me from from getting even more pain suffering even more disabling symptoms,
movement, even if it was walking, even if it was rotating my finger in a circle and just mindfully making circles with, with these tiny little joints. I was learning III I wanted to learn all of it. And so I started implementing that. And when I started seeing benefits, I started, I started, I actually created my own movement modality.
I created my own program and it is for people who can't get out of bed and all the way to doing headstands and handstands and, and, and forearm stands and being upside down on a pole and doing crazy shit.
Jenn Junod
So I, I've seen the post and y'all you have to go like follow Darcy like like Instagram. Yes, but go follow their tiktok because I have seen and don't understand why they banned your tiktok. I am so sad because there was so much good content there. And so that's a story for another day. But please go follow Darcy on those.
There's I know I don't really talk about going and following people a lot because I don't on the podcast. I don't necessarily want to talk about the coaching aspect of it. Specifically for Darcy, I do because I've gotten a lot out of it and they don't post just mobility stuff.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
Like as I said earlier, Darcy posts like fucking everything like it's just phenomenal like it's just good content to so on my Instagram, on my Instagram, I post, I tried to advocate for the tools that I use to increase my quality of life with chronic disease.
Darcy Rosario
So I'll post the mobility but I also post cannabis advocacy and studies, you know, II I back it up with the science. I don't just tell you what my experience is. But II, I show you a wide range of ways that you can utilize cannabis to help reduce chronic pain and CRE reduce fatigue, help with insomnia. All, all that jazz and then I also speak on intersectionality and you know, the, the multiple layers that a person, the, the multiple layers that a person can, can have within themselves
that can also leave them up to being discriminated against, to having to basically live a harder life just because they belong to multiple marginalized communities, bringing awareness to that. You know, and I also talk about being single and almost 40 being disabled, being non binary, being Puerto Rican and like the challenges and struggles with that.
And, and then I like to like highlight people within the community that are also doing amazing things and, and try to put their voices out there so that we can all connect with one another, basically building a nice support system
Jenn Junod
and, and thank you for that. And one thing that I, I do wanna touch base on and something that I'm and for those listening or watching Darcy has shared a few stories with me and in the back of my head, I'm like, how do I weave these together? Because they are just like so fascinating as a human and yet we are never going to and no one can put fit their entire story in an hour.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
Like that is the beauty of humankind is we are so there's so many different dimensions, complex tapestry of experiences, you know, we are a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time.
Darcy Rosario
Exactly. Yeah, that is, that is so true. I completely agree with you on that.
Jenn Junod
And one thing that you mentioned and I'm curious about because it's something that we talked about before our interview today was you mentioned that you were married earlier and that your newborn, it sounded like your newborn was right around the time that you got diagnosed with MS. Has has it been shown that having Children can cause MS or affect it or fast? It make it faster or?
Darcy Rosario
Oh, so having babies, it can be, can be something that ends up causing you to have a major relapse within a few months after having a child. And so I had my first relapse after five months after my third child was born, I have four kids. So when she was, when Sophia was born in 2012, 5 months later, I got hit with my first set of symptoms. I'm pretty sure that even if I hadn't had her, I would still have developed MS.
But I feel like it was like kind of a cat. catalyst to that. What happens is that our hormones drop so sharply and estrogen is a supportive home supporting hormone when it comes to our immune system and inflammation. And which is one of the reasons why women tend to have MS more than men. But unfortunately, men, when they do get it, they get, it tend to get it more severe than us because they don't have estrogen.
And so when our hormones drop really sharply after giving birth that sets us up to for, for a relapse. And, and that's what happened. I ended up with very low vitamin D levels. I had to be prescribed vitamin D and then, and then I got sicker, but I had my fourth child in 2018 and because I was implementing certain nutrition, anti-inflammatory foods for my body, stress management, making sure I was moving regularly.
I didn't have a relapse after I had Danny in 2018, I was very fortunate. I actually had really easy pregnancy and I gave birth naturally in my living room right there. And I was walking a couple days later and I was doing yoga a couple weeks later. And it was honestly my best pregnancy, but I was really, really a stickler to, to trying to put in use, utilize all the tools at my disposal.
Lately though, with the Pancetta, the pandemonium, the pan pandemic, it's been, it was a lot more difficult, especially when I had all my kids at home. And so I was drinking a little more, I was eating gluten and then I was going through a high conflict divorce last year. And so that's when I had my, I had a major relapse last year. And so I went on OK, so now I'm on OK, Liz Zoo. OK. Crevis. It is a monoclonal antibody treatment that basically annihilates your B cells and makes it so that
those cells that are causing the blood brain barrier and attacking the myelin sheath, they don't exist anymore. And so twice a year, I go in for about 5 to 6 hours and I get an infusion and so far that's been really helping like I have a reduction in symptoms and my, I feel like they're, I'm not progressing right now.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
So, yes, that's where I and on that note is, is MS hereditary.
Darcy Rosario
It can be. There are families, there are families with many family members who have MS, I'm the only one in my family who has MS, but I'm not the only member of my family that has an autoimmune disorder. But I honestly feel when it comes to my family, the reason that so many of us have autoimmune issues, like my sister thinks she has lupus, she's getting tested for that.
Another sister has issues with her skin. One has cholinergic Oakar out which temperature like heat causes like rashes and inflammation. My mom has fibromyalgia and probably another type of inflammatory disease that she's not been tested for but continues to complain about. I feel like the trauma that we experience having abusive parents, including my mom, my mom's dad, my grandfather who I love still very much is an alcoholic and suffered trauma from his, his childhood and
that kind of just it compounded in the rest of us like it came out in the rest of us. And so we me and my sisters especially had abusive parents. And so the body keeps, the score is a book that I started reading that really connected everything for me. And it's like I have complex post traumatic stress disorder from the abuse that I experienced as in my childhood and adolescence and even throughout parts of my adulthood when I was trying to reach out to my parents, but they were
continuing to be abusive. and, and then II, I read this amazing book and then I was like, oh, wow. No, it wasn't the pop tarts that I was eating when I was like 18 or 19 or, you know, sort of like going to bed too late or waking up too early or not, you know, not getting enough sleep.
There wasn't those choices that I made for my body at that time that contributed to that. It was all the trauma that I experienced and the way that my body process that trauma and the amount of stress hormones I was releasing.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
And now like my, my, you suffer brain damage from trauma like that you suffer brain damage and it's just the, the MS is a symptom of trauma for me and, and that is so true in so many different people.
Jenn Junod
That is a book that I bring up so very, very often in an episode that's already aired with patience. I believe it's episode five. We talk about generational trauma. This is something that comes up in multiple episodes in the fact that if we don't work on ourselves to change it for our future generations, it is something that it's not just, you know,
abuse to abuse to abuse, it can also show up as medical issues as you know, high anxiety, there's so much that goes into it. So I love that you mentioned that it's a domino effect.
Darcy Rosario
It really is a domino effect because the trauma that you experienced earlier on in your life will will affect the way that you form friendships and relationships and the way that you can do your job and the way that you basically look at your outlook on life, how you perceive the world, how you respond to the world, you know. and because the way that the way that our brains work, you know, we, we make these neural connections and we deeply ingrain those connections, we strengthen
those connections by repeated action, repeated experience, repeated stimuli. If you're going in years and years and years suffering trauma, then that's just deeply ingrained, deeply ingrained. You know, I, my dad used to say trigger, trigger warning. My dad used, used to call me things like a retard. I'm not worth an opinion. I'm not worth nothing.
Oh You think you're a princess? You're not a princess, you're not royalty, you're nothing. You don't deserve an opinion repeatedly for years on end. And so that's all I knew. That's all I knew. The only way for me to get out of that wasn't just talking to myself. I it was repeatedly repeatedly every single day working on rerouting those connections to something new.
That means as often as he told me all that awful stuff. I had to tell myself the opposite. I tell myself I'm worthy of all the good that's available to me in this universe. Of love that is available to me in all this in the universe. My body size does not dictate my worth. My weight does not dictate my, my appearance does not dictate who I am and how much I have to give to others repeatedly, repeatedly.
Every single, even if I didn't feel it. I said it because fake it until you become it. I watched this amazing TED talk and I forgot what her name was but she, it was 10 years ago, I remember her talking about how our posture can affect the way that our brain feels like do the power poses, the power poses. So having having your arms out next to your hips and making yourself bigger, making yourself bigger instead of making yourself smaller, not having your arms crossed around you closing
yourself off. So I started using the power poses. I would tell myself, OK, arms out, arms out, don't cross, don't cross. And even though I wasn't feeling it at the time, you're kind of tricking your brain a little bit. And so the more that you implement these things, the more that you practice them, you start rerouting, you start
rerouting those connections in the past that were, that were tied to trauma and our reactions that were tried to that tied to that trauma then become responses that we then choose.
Jenn Junod
Agreed and, and something that I, I definitely want to add to that is we've talked about gratitude. We end every episode in what are you grateful for? And I've, I've mentioned in a few episodes that a gratitude journal can really help with changing your mindset and affirmations like I am something, those are all things that I've done in slowly throughout the years.
Something that I really do want to mention is and people have probably heard this on the intro episode and also on my trailer, I had a craniotomy done a year ago. I had, you know, I don't have a gallbladder. I don't have like I have a shit. You had medical things. I got medical shit and a lot of growing up it was solitary confinement, physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse. I was fat. I was ugly.
I am worthless. Like those are all things that I was told like you are the scum of the earth is what I would be told. And it's something that to this day I still really struggle with. I can be a good 90% of the time and there are times where it is really hard for me. It's not downward spiral and also know and forgive those have that have done harm against me, which can I interject real quick?
Darcy Rosario
And you don't need to forgive anybody?
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
You don't for your own healing. You don't need to forgive a single person 100%.
Jenn Junod
I I am glad you interjected that that is something that I would guilt myself for not forgiving. So it was part of my journey. It's not necessarily B's journey. And the fact that I, and now starting to see that my brain surgery actually had me re deal with this trauma to be able to launch the podcast.
And it made me who I am, which I'm so grateful for. I, I love that you talk about how the trauma causes this shit because if we catch it early enough, we can really start working on this and start changing our mindset and changing the stigma of who we were to who we want to be.
Darcy Rosario
I mean, it's acknowledging like that exists, this trauma exists. How did it affect? How did it affect me? How can I heal myself from this? How can I rebuild neural connections that are gonna help me have healthier coping mechanisms, a healthier outlook on life and a healthier healthier self perception, self love, you know, all that. and it is work. It is years and years. I'll be 40 in January. And I started this journey when I was 19 and my first hospitalization was at 19. I was told I
just had anxiety. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed with dysemia which is like low level depression and it wasn't actually none of those things. Not, not for me because the more that I real started making the connections back to the trauma and the more that I started working on it and then this past year I did E MD R, I've been going through that, that shit's just like mind boggling crazy.
Jenn Junod
I love it. And it's really hard.
Darcy Rosario
Yes, it's not easy. But Bobby, I'm sorry, my dog is, my dog is, he's very excited. He wants to go out, but I'm going to leave him alone for now.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
Hopefully he'll chill that he just wants to be friends with us. Hi, baby, he's being cute.
Darcy Rosario
Anyway, the, the, the journey I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to let my dog out. I'm sorry, he's being a pest. I get it for those who can see. These are my dogs. These are my dogs. Oh, all right. Let's go outside. I'm sorry about that. Trauma MD R MD R changed my life made it so that I can really, really dig in deep to who I am. Like my authentic self, my genuine self, my, my me and, and, and accept it and embrace it and embrace Darcy.
So that was a name that I could, it, it, it held so many negative connotations for me. It's the name my dad gave me. It's been, it's been used against me so often and then feeling like I am both male and female and sometimes not and sometimes, yes, sometimes I'm more of a dude, sometimes more more fam. I wanted, I wanted to start living like that and not be ashamed of it because I was taught like you're a girl, you need to be thin and curvy her long hair, you need, make sure your nails look
good. I got weighed at the dinner table. Oh yeah. My dad used to weigh me. My mom would give me diet pills in, in my teens. all to look feminine and have be soft and have features. But I love being strong. I love being strong and I love having broad shoulders and I love having masculine features. I really actually do. And when I started letting go of all that that from, from my parents and from my childhood, I started realizing like my true self encompasses so much more and not what I was
being forced to be. And with a MD R, I was able to make new neural connections, which is one of the things E MD R helps you do attach. It basically made the trauma less stifling and the triggers less intense, the emotional flashbacks easier to handle. And with that, I, I've been able, I've been able to realize my worth. And so I ended my relationship with my ex boyfriend, my partner of five years this year because I realized I was trauma bond to him, bonded to him.
I I bonded to him out of fear of abandonment, fear of being alone. Feeling like I wasn't worth being with somebody who was gonna treat me the way that I deserve to be treated. And, I actually, it's so funny because I used to go to therapy every week and my, my therapist, Tanya, would congratulate me on a, on a small step forward. Oh, I'm glad you realized that this is fantastic.
You know, I'll be like, oh, yeah, I woke up this morning and I told, I told my ex like, oh, you're stepping on my boundary and at the time he wasn't my ex. and she'd be like, I'm, I'm really happy. I'm and I'm like, oh, I graduated therapy. No, I'm just kidding. I didn't graduate therapy. But last month, the last time I saw her, I had already gone a few months just updating her on the things that happened and how I dealt with them and they're healthy.
They're, they're for me. I see things differently. I see life, life became different, it became joyful. I started focusing on the things that I am grateful for. And in spite of having done like things online where I ask people post something. You're grateful for every single day for 30 days and write a streak for MS, gratitude for MS, things like that. I still wasn't, it wasn't infused within me.
I wasn't really living it until this year until E MD R until really like digging deep in therapy, doing the work, reading not just reading the books, but implementing the things that the books are telling me to do every single day, every single day, every moment I have to, to use a healthy coping me mechanism. I try my best.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
And then the times that I fail, I've learned to give myself compassion and that is so hard and I it's hard to learn.
Jenn Junod
I have found, at least for myself, it's gotten a lot easier to give myself compassion. And one thing that I definitely want to go back and circle on with gender identity of it's a different path for each of us. So I, the reason I mentioned that is I grew up, I am an only child and my dad always wanted a boy, like that's all he wanted. He just wanted me to be a boy.
Like I would have to go do stuff in the shop. I would have to go move everything I would have to go do like car stuff or like, you know, anything feminine he didn't want me to do. And so until probably the last few years, I was too scared to really wear dresses, to wear anything sexy to. like there was a lot of it where I was afraid to be too girly. And I absolutely love being a woman and girly.
And that was something that I at the same time, I also love working on stuff. Like I love refurnishing furniture. I wanna learn how to like my dream is to buy a house and rebuild it myself and learn how to do all of that. Like, yes, that is part of me yet. It doesn't mean that for myself, that doesn't mean that I am changing my gender identity.
Darcy Rosario
It doesn't take away who you see yourself as and how you want to be perceived. And you know, the sad thing is in this society, they're like women that's not associated with being able to change the light picture, which all the light pictures in my house. I changed that.
Jenn Junod
That's so important because just because I identify as a woman, doesn't mean I need to force other people to go into male or female. Like just as I was saying earlier, like we as other people that are cisgender need to be more gracious to individuals around us that are not the same such as you were talking about different minorities and intersectionality.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
That is something that as a cisgender human, we need to be more open because, well, Cisgender cis hetero white, that in itself is like the trifecta of privilege.
Jenn Junod
And I hate that yet. That's why I'm starting this podcast and doing this podcast because if I have all these inherent privileges, why the fuck am I not using them for good? Like why am I not giving other people a platform for, to share their story to show that, you know, even though there could be incredibly different than me. We all have different short stories to share and really, like, I love the fact of how you learned and felt that you, you, some days you feel more masculine and
some days you feel more feminine and changing your name to something that it associates good for you and associates, you know, good vibes and good feelings because that means you'll show up how you're meant to show up to others.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
I'm honoring myself.
Darcy Rosario
Exactly. First of all, and the other day, II, I, so I also advocate for the legalization of psilocybin when it comes, especially for treating conflicts, post traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety, and chronic pain because the science is there, the studies are showing how effective it can be if utilized properly. And so I utilized some of it this weekend.
And the thing that I came across that, that hit me the most during my journey with it was you need to stop doing yourself dirty and you need to try to practice self care in the ways that are accessible and available to you on a daily basis, fill your cups. So it runneth over. I am full of myself. Therefore, I have enough to give to others. So that, that I feel is like the most important thing that you can do if you wanna be kinder to others. If you wanna be more generous, if you wanna be just a
better overall person instead of focusing on what you can do for other people. Pour that shit into yourself first, pour that shit into yourself first. Give yourself all the love, give yourself, give yourself all the love that you didn't receive throughout your childhood, throughout your adolescence or adulthood, even adulthood. Provide you for you first and it's not being selfish and it's not being narcissistic.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
It's honestly the best thing that you can do for the people around you 100% and on so much of that.
Jenn Junod
And I can see how your journey with MS has also done that and something that I found is I've had to cancel. I do about 3 to 5 episodes to record per week. And there are days where in my life, I can't imagine doing an episode because I am so drained either emotionally physically. Like there's times where I will, can't keep my eyes open halfway through the day and it doesn't matter my sleep or anything. Like it's just something that happens and I used to fight it or feel guilty.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
And I know with us, I've had to reschedule, you've had to reschedule like we don't have honey, we just go whenever we are expected to, we are not robots.
Darcy Rosario
And we need to allow ourselves grace on those days that you have to tell people. I'm sorry, but it's not going to happen today. Let's reschedule. You will never ever, ever hear me have an issue with rescheduling because I have to do it all the time too. There are times I wake up and I really can't speak very well. Or I know the last time I think the last time, oh, I was sick. But then the problem is if I have a virus like a cold, all my MS symptoms are happening and so it wasn't going to happen,
but beating yourselves up for that counterintuitive to our journey of healing and it's counterintuitive to self care and self love. Because if somebody around us was sick, well, we do and allow them space, allow them grace, allow them compassion, give them, give them the things that they need to help heal them and help them feel better. Why don't we do that to excels? Why don't we extend that to ourselves?
Jenn Junod
Agreed. And something that I do wanna touch base on and you mentioned it a little earlier with while working with your therapist, you would see how you would work with boundaries and in your own relationships and something that we've talked about beforehand was that you our polly and it's something that I how has you grown like I know MS has definitely affected it and I would love to hear
your, your insights there as well as how you've been working, especially in this last year. Working on yourself has affected your relationships and what that looks like.
Darcy Rosario
Well, I, I divorced my husband, my d divorce went through in February that we were separated for over a year. I asked for that because he was not treating me right and he went a while not treating me right. So it was very apparent he wanted to divorce me but didn't want to say it. so I did take that step forward but with my ex partner and we were in a poly relationship, but it was very unbalanced.
They would gang up on me regularly and because I hadn't done the work yet when it came to my own healing, I felt this is, this is it, this is what I'm stuck with. I have to settle. No one else is gonna let me, I'm, if I leave these relationships, I'm gonna be alone. So II I hit a wall with my ex-husband and I was done. He moved out. So I was like, ok, me and my boyfriend, we're together, we're working on things going therapy.
But at the end of the day when, when the boundaries aren't being respected, when it's clear that the work isn't being matched, he's not matching my energy, he's not matching my goals. He's not matching my values. And I feel degraded in this relationship. And I start coming out of the fog because of therapy and I start seeing things clearly for what they really are.
And the truth is the truth regardless which is what Tanya would tell me the truth is the truth regardless. And it's like, 00, this is the truth. This is the truth. This is the truth. He doesn't respect my boundaries. He doesn't give me the kind of love that I really wish that he was giving me. He is not even taking care of himself. He's allowing his own mental issues to affect the way that he cares for himself.
And if he's not taking care of himself, how am I expecting for him to help take care of me? And so I put it into the relationship to the, to the relationship in June. At the end of June, I said, you know, we both can live together, we both can cohabit and co parent very well. Like we take care of our Children so well. And but trying to, the expectations for one another weren't matching and he wanted way more for me than he was willing to give to back.
And, and I said, so I don't wanna be in this romantic relationship. It's just not satisfying. So we, we separated in that regard, but we still live together. And there are days where it's difficult because he's still in the process. He's still like deep in the process, he's still not even fully aware of th certain things that he needs to work on.
He's not even aware of it and he's still in this denial phase where he doesn't want to really want to listen to the criticism and so I can't push him to do that for himself. So I'm just hoping that he continues going to therapy and he finds that out on his own. But in the meantime, I'm free, I'm free to be happy. I'm free to be feel healed, which I do.
I've never thought that I would get here. Do I still have emotional flashbacks? And I get triggered? Yes. But the difference is, is that before I used to feel I didn't have control over it. It was a tsunami that was inundating me and I couldn't breathe a fucking glass cage of emotions that I couldn't break out of. And now these emotional flashbacks are just glimpses of what I experienced in the past that no longer affect me as, as severely as they used to and I have control.
I have control. What is my response gonna be? What are the things that I can do to help me get through this moment of, of this trigger? So that then I can be present again for myself and my Children and anyone else around me? That's, that was the most important thing. And so I'm sorry, my dogs are barking.
Jenn Junod
It's ok like, you know, these, these episodes aren't going to be perfect and you know, it, it's definitely about getting the content out instead of, you know, going for perfection.
Darcy Rosario
I have my life is kind of crazy. I'm surprised that my 12 year old hasn't come upstairs to ask me for something because she, she goes to all my school but then I have three other kids in, in three other schools.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
So that is crazy.
Jenn Junod
Like I just feel like I don't have Children. So it's also really hard for me to imagine like how much parents have to put into it and to, to just name a few of the things just recapping. So you're a mother. You have MS Fal Bromy, fibromyalgia, fibromyalgia. You know, you just came out and changed your gender identity. You have relationships and you're polly. You know, there's, you're also just a human altogether.
Darcy Rosario
I'm Afro indigenous Puerto Rican.
Jenn Junod
We haven't talked about that one yet though.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
Oh Yeah, a bit more like I am.
Darcy Rosario
Yeah. No, my, both my parents came from the island. They, they actually didn't move to the States until they were adults. Like, and my, my dad joined the Air Force for a better life and they got married. My mom was 21 when she had me and they didn't speak English. The first language I learned was Spanish and all our friends were Mexican because my, my parents didn't speak English. You know. So my, my identity is very centered around being a proud Latin X individual.
I'm very, very proud of being Puerto Rican. I advocate for Afro indigenous rights becau and, and, and being Afro indigenous a lot of it's unfortunate there is colorism within my community that makes it so that like my dark mother was discriminated against by Puerto Ricans who are lighter skinned. And I actually learned in the past few years, I have white privilege because I look white.
Jenn Junod
So I was just about to ask that. So for our listeners, what is Afro indigenous? And can you explain that really quick?
Darcy Rosario
So a lot of, a lot of the Car Caribbean was settled by colonizers and they brought African slaves to the islands while the people that were there before the colonizers showed up were dios they were natives. And present day we are an amalgamation of all that. We are an amalgamation of the colonizers. So I did my DNA. I took, I took, did my 23 me or something.
And I have Iberian DNA from Spain and Portugal and Italy and the Moors. But I also have native DNA from the Taos and then I have African DNA from the slaves that were brought to the island. We are a mess that we are a mix and we, we, we look all different, all different shades even within my own family. My mom is dark, my sister is dark, my mom's side of the family.
You see a lot of the Afro indigenous. but my dad's side is a little more Spaniard looking even there's even Irish. And so that's where the lighter skin comes from. But it doesn't make us any less Afro indigenous. I could be sitting next to my sister. We both shared the same DNA but she very clearly looks like she's Afro indigenous. She very clearly.
And so I know for her, she experiences life differently than I do. because she doesn't have to say anything. She's gonna be immediately discriminated and I've seen it, I see racism towards my mom and my, and my, my sister, it's not until I open my mouth and I say that I'm Puerto Rican that suddenly, then I receive the discrimination.
Jenn Junod
How does that show up when? because I can only imagine that you say that you're Puerto Rican or you know, you say that you're white or not white like you're, you're just lighter skinned and do people dismiss that when you say it? Like they don't believe you or they question it or like they really dismiss you trying to li like showcase and be proud of your, your background.
Darcy Rosario
Luckily I really haven't, I haven't experienced anyone dismissing me just very curious like, oh, I didn't know I didn't know that existed. I didn't know that, that, that, that oh my God, the words fell out of my head. I'm so sorry. But a lot of people were just like, I didn't know that, that, that was a thing. I didn't my mom when I brought up the fact that my, when I was started dating, my boyfriend started becoming Polly.
I said, oh yeah, he's Afro indigenous, he's Afro Latino. What does that mean? And I was like, that's us. There's clearly African DNA in our blood and he is very dark skinned, he's black, he considers himself, he says he's black and but our DNA is actually pretty similar. We're off by a couple percentages in, in each and that's it. But his, his darker skin, that's what shows, you know, and acknowledging acknowledging that that is representative of our DNA for her was like eye
opening. Like what? Because we're unfortunately, even within our community, the color is the white is better trying to blend in is better using the white privilege. Not acknowledging that you're Latino, my bio, my biological father changed his name from Jorge to George, changed his spelling and everything, tried to sound white. And at the end of the day I code switch too, that's the thing changing the way that I speak to appease the white listener.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
So I don't sound like this normally really quick.
Jenn Junod
And two things that I do really, really want to mention, especially because you've mentioned code switching right now, Darcy is, is we're putting as me asking, as everyone asking you know about MS about all of these different experiences that us asking Darcy about this is putting an intellectual burden on Darcy and stop
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
using the using the like some people are used to it.
Jenn Junod
Like some people really want to share it and change our, you know, the way we ask about it and they want to educate others that is not all people.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
And I want to, I want to educate but it, it is work.
Jenn Junod
And I really, really want to acknowledge this because Darcy is, wants to educate people, not all people do. And when we ask people that don't want to do it and we get upset that is a clear sign of white privilege. The reason I really, really, really want to call this out is because you mentioned code switching and this is something that is, is very, very in the Latino and Black communities. And and like basically anybody that's not white because they have to remove their slang, they
have to because the white literacy is judged on education based on the language that they use, which is bullshit because there are people that are way smarter than I am. And so they use slang. Why is that devaluing their, their intellectual capability? And it's called code switching? Yeah, I mean, sorry.
Darcy Rosario
No, that's OK. So you know, we're talking about intersectional intersectionality. intersectionality is basically the other, the other is, you know, the, the the outsiders, the the not the norm and the norm is expected to be speaking very plainly, very white, maybe even having a twang because if you're Southern and that's ok too. but taking away anything that might sound ghetto, quote, quote, because the moment that you start speaking in a way that highlights the fact that
you are not white, suddenly your intelligence is questioned and who you are as a person, what you have to contribute is questioned. And so, yeah, me speaking to you right now, I'm using the spoons so that way the listeners can not judge me because I have been judged. And it's ok.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
I mean, it's not ok because it's not ok.
Darcy Rosario
But for me, I have fortified myself. I am resilient. And so instead of getting upset about it, I educate and I let them know like I have experience, I have, I have a breath of knowledge that goes beyond the way that I sound. And but, but knowing, knowing that the image I portray, the way that I express myself, the way that I communicate at the end of the day is gonna
dictate how many people are gonna listen to. What I have to say. That's, that's going to influence the way that I sound because I'm like, it's getting me to tear up right now.
Jenn Junod
It's ok.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
I get it from both sides too though.
Darcy Rosario
Girl, I look white. If I started sounding the way that I actually do, people will like, no, you should be sound like that and I'm just like, but this is who I am. This is how I was raised I have an accent. I have, I actually have a La Latin accent. I have a Spanish accent. I was raised in some really rough parts and so like I do have certain mannerisms and way of speaking that isn't quote, quote white, white, privileged.
I love how I sound normally. I love when I am with people that see my core self and I surround myself with people who know that that does not detract from who I am. It just adds to my flavor. It adds to the seasoning of who I am as a person.
Jenn Junod
Would you be opening to switch back now that we have like first off, do you have time to say a little? OK. We have about 1015 minutes left.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
And for the rest of this episode, please talk like you because I wish like I normally do.
Jenn Junod
Yeah, because like why like I, I want this podcast to represent who people really are. Yes, we may have to ask questions to how we got there. But I don't, people, people in general, especially those of white privilege really need to learn that we shouldn't require code switching. And there's a great youtube video which I will tag in here once I look it up that talks about code switching and the the need to do so to put off the image. So society accepts you and it breaks my heart.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
So for the rest of this episode, please just sound like yourself just like, like I sound ok however that shows up.
Darcy Rosario
Ok.
Jenn Junod
But, I do want to ask and this is the, the last question before we close up. how has working on yourself shown up for your kids?
Darcy Rosario
Oh, my God. I, I, honestly my kids, my kids will never have to worry about, the things that I had to worry about. Like, they don't, they don't sit there and then they're not like, oh my God, I'm, I can't eat this because I'm gonna get fat or oh I don't like the way that I look because bla bla I hate myself. I've never heard any one of my kids say I hate myself.
I'm so happy with the fact that I tried to demolish the cyclical, traumatic, like generational trauma that we have experienced. I have demolished that shit. I have annihilated it from this house so that they can then learn better emotional regulation. They can learn healthy coping mechanisms when they're stressed, when even they got triggers, even though they haven't, you know, they, they're still kids but kids still have triggers.
Kids still have things that can set them off and make them feel unsafe. But I have given them, I have given them a space to feel safe. I have given them a sanctuary. I've given them a the ability to be little individuals with voices who can advocate for themselves. They they have resiliency that I didn't have at that age, but they have two people, you know, in, in spite of my ex and, and I having differences and even my ex-husband that all three of us are constantly working on ensuring
that my little people do not have to experience the shit that I did when I was younger or that they, my exes had to experience because they have trauma too. And so when I see them growing up, even my 18 year old, my 18 year old was doing things that I didn't do when I was 18. When I was 18, I was kicked out, I was homeless. And so I was just working and partying.
This boy came out as trans a few years ago, he's now got himself into choirs at different churches. He's going to go to Western University, he's gonna teach music, music education like he, he knows where he wants, he has his passions, he's not flaming about in life. And I, that is the because I have given him a solid foundation from which to build on because I built that within myself.
And so the hope is that we just continue on this journey and that the chil my Children will continue to benefit so that they'll be able to stand up for themselves. They'll be able to cultivate self love and within that cultivation of self love, they can then extend that to others and be kind be compassionate. So
Jenn Junod
it is, it's a ripple effect and I love that you do that with your Children.
Darcy Rosario
I I I look at it like a spider web because it just spreads and it connects and connects and builds and strengthens and then it turns into communities, communities do like spreading it out. And so like my social media community that, that's what I intend. That's my intention for what I do is what the information I give, what I put out there for myself. I want that to help you better yourself so that you can then transfer that up to others, spread it to others.
Jenn Junod
All the warm fuzzies because you did help in the fact that you were one of the first people I reached out to and you believed in the podcast and that it actually happened before we like, you know, super close it up. Is there anything that you wanted to cover that we didn't cover?
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
Oh, no, I think that we, we delve in deep and very all connected and intersectionality I feel, I feel like we really showed it.
Darcy Rosario
Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, maybe just bringing up like if you really want to educate yourself, there are amazing resources with intersectionality just looking up Kimberly Crenshaw, like she's the creator, she's the one that really speaks out. Her videos are amazing. She's also on social media. But at the end of the day, it's awareness bringing about awareness, then acknowledging that that exists and then working on the issues that pertain to that.
Jenn Junod
And for our listeners just, I mean, first off follow Darcy because they do give off a lot of really good content and I will link what was their name again? So I know to put it in the OK? Kimberly, I will be linking those in the show descriptions as well. Also feel free to tweet me and you know, comment and ask questions and you know, like that's what the show is here to do is to be that one that asks those questions that you know, is really hard to answer and share those
Darcy Rosario
follow creators online that make you feel uncomfortable because they speak the truth. So people like modern warrior who is native to Denver, he's, he's a, he's a native American and he's a huge advocate for the native community. Modern Warrior. There are black creators, Porsha Portia Noir is another one. melanated is another one. Then we got crutches and spice who is intersectional female with disabilities and black and she speaks on that.
She's a communications major. So she's able to deconstruct the the experience in a way that helps us learn and really like take it in. But yeah, find, find creators online, find, find content creators that on Instagram, Facebook, tiktok, that tiktok is huge, huge, huge. Chelsea Hart is me, Chelsea Hart is white, but she lifts up indigenous Black Muslim, all the marginalized voices.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
And so finding people and if they make you feel uncomfortable, then you definitely need to be listening and, and analyze why it's making me feel uncomfortable. And a big thing for me that I have found is, is it feeling uncomfortable because it's cringy and like putting other people down or is it uncomfortable because I don't know how to accept the and for highlighting some internalized misogyny or internalized racism, internalized biases, biases.
Darcy Rosario
Yeah, because at the end of the day, like being just being in a society that has systematic racism that has misogyny and patriarchy like we are going to have that just built within us. It's a thread that runs in us that we need to identify and then pull that sucker right out and then start working on rebuilding. Yeah.
Jenn Junod
And having self compassion when you see it, see it work on it, change it.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
If you don't feel guilty, don't beat yourself up about it.
Darcy Rosario
We don't need you to feel oppressed this whole, you know, white people who want to be oppressed, they want to feel oppressed white women tears. Oh God, colonize your tears.
Jenn Junod
If you all could just see my face, like is it about you?
Darcy Rosario
OK, part of life.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
But let me tell you, your life is a lot harder with the more intersections that you have and it is the type of thing that, and I just want to call myself out for it that I have cried in the fact of, I don't know what to do with all this information.
Jenn Junod
I have felt really guilty. I have quote unquote, felt, reverse racism. I say that in air quotes for those can't listen because it's bullshit. Yeah.
Darcy Rosario
Reverse racism doesn't exist. You need, you need to have a system of oppression underlying it to be called racism. Because at the end of the day, it's discrimination if it's towards the group of people that actually hold the power
Jenn Junod
100%. And I feel like we could talk for days and I'm having these conversations and they are shit that you know, no one wants to talk about but you as an individual like no one wants to talk about these things, but they are Shit2TalkAbout such important conversations that need to be had and to leave our audience on a high note, what is some words of encouragement or you know, something that you want to leave our audience with.
Darcy Rosario
We all start somewhere, we all start somewhere and sometimes we start and then we, we keep going and then we have to stop and then we have to restart and that's normal and that's ok. So when it comes to your journey of healing, self, self love, even if you're like even working out movement or spirituality, anything that you wanna do and you wanna better yourself at.
It's ok to start, it's ok to be a beginner. It's ok to stumble. It's ok to take longer than others. But as long as you give yourself grace and compassion throughout this journey, you're going to head in the direction that that will increase your quality of life and then help you be a bit better person for yourself and for others.
Jenn Junod
100%. And thank you. And very last, what are you grateful for Darcy?
Darcy Rosario
What am I grateful for? Oh my God. I, I live in a, in a place of gratitude constantly because I have the most beautiful Children, the most cutest pets. I'm grateful for the fact that I can live in this house and that I have the ability to sleep on a comfortable bed. I'm grateful for the clothes that I'm all I'm able to wear and I'm grateful for the fact that I can express myself.
it, it authentically and actually receive pretty much like 95% positive response from it. So, so many things to be grateful for. But those are definitely the ones that first that come up.
Jenn Junod
Thank you. And I'm grateful for talking about intersectionality because we went through some deep shit today. That is the entire reason this podcast was created and it's shit that I have a hard time talking about. But there's gonna be a future episode where I have to talk about sex.
Darcy Rosario
I love talking about sex. You give me, I will, I'll do the show for you. I love talking about sex.
Jenn Junod
Yeah. That's like super outside of my comfort zone and something I love about and so grateful that there's so many different cultures that can be sexual and, you know, live in their, their truth and feel everything.
Darcy Rosario
Especially the matriarchal ones. You look at matriarchal societies, especially in Asia and in certain parts of Africa. and they're female run and, they are sexually more free. They can have as many partners as they want. They can choose whoever they want to be with. They're not tied by marriage and the nuclear families created the aunts and the uncles and the grandparents.
They're the ones that help run the family. And so they're all tied like that. But it's the matriarchs that, that lead, that just, it's the women that get to decide. And so, looking at the differences between, this Christian patriarchal way of looking at, being a female. You have to be prude and then you can't have sex until you're married and we can talk about this all day.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
But it's such, we'll have you on the show again.
Jenn Junod
It's just gonna happen at some point.
Darcy Rosario
I, I, I, I am very good person. I wanted to be a sexual therapist when I was really young. Like when I was graduating high school, I was going to go to school for that and So I immersed myself. I, I love sex. I love everything that sex, sex can do for a person, their mental, spiritual and emotional health.
Jenn Junod
For our listeners, I'm giving Darcy a lot of really funny faces, shit I need to talk about and get through in my own personal life. And I'm so not looking forward to it, but that's why I'm going to therapy and all that. So we do need to close off today and thank you Darcy for everything and can't wait to have you on the show again.
Darcy Rosario
Thank you for having me. I appreciate it.
Jenn Junod
Ok? That was the end of the show. Thank you. Food for thought things you like, didn't like any feedback.
Darcy Rosario
Oh, no, it was great. Like I think that it flowed really well. We definitely touched on a lot, but it all connected really well and went in one into the other. I like the questions that you had and I like you infusing your own experience and, and your feelings about certain things and I really appreciated the, the code switching thing because it very is automatic to me. Now, I see a white person and, and somebody that I don't really talk to regularly.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
And you're, you're gonna get white me.
Jenn Junod
It makes me like, I'm so glad we talked about it. I wish I realized that early on because I would have had to do the entire episode that way. because I want people to be the truth, then not have to code switch. I don't want to be. It is the true me though.
Darcy Rosario
The part of it is kind of already just it, you know. And so it, it it's gonna be a little jarring for me honestly because I'm not used to hearing myself speak like that on like podcasts or even my videos.
Jenn Junod, Darcy Rosario
I know I, if you look at my tutorials, I'm very like, and then you put your arm out here and then you know, not like put the mother fucking arm out there and then you're gonna just turn into circles and, and, and I see that in myself and the fact that like if I'm around someone like you, I will like fire up my feistiness because this is shit that really matters to me where when it's
somebody that is very mellow and timid and like, I did an interview earlier today about parenting and it's a coach that helps parents through teenage years and that kind of stuff.
Jenn Junod
And she would say even though it was white privilege and even those like, you know, I feel like they haven't gone through a lot and I'm like, it's not going to be the time and place to argue about it yet. It's definitely something that I'm passionate about and I love that we were able to talk about all these items. Like, dude, I just want to be friends with you when you're actually we are friends. What the fuck are you talking about? Girl?
Darcy Rosario
We are friends. You can hit me up in these, make sure that you can see my face, you can hit me up any time like
Jenn Junod
you just individual like you're a cool human like I love what you bring into the world.
Darcy Rosario
Thank you. I, I never, I never set on this path to be like cool or be seen that way. But it, for me, especially having teenagers being cooler than my 18 year old warm with my heart.
Jenn Junod
Yeah, like I feel like when and just for definition too cool to me also means real and you are being your true self.
Darcy Rosario
I'm just grabbing my shoes.
Jenn Junod
You're good, you're good. The last thing that I wanted to ask you was is there anyone that you think would benefit the show would benefit from having on the show that you could introduce me to?
Darcy Rosario
Oh my God. OK.
Jenn Junod
I have a list, think of it like, you know, if you could do email intros Instagram intros, I don't care. I just I do two episodes, do a list.
Darcy Rosario
Can ID, can ID M you on Instagram and just send you all your profiles?
Jenn Junod
Are they people that actually reply?
Darcy Rosario
Yeah. So I will hit them up first and let them know that I suggested them for this podcast. but people like so Randy Patrick, it runs, this wonderful MS group that helps thousands, thousands, like tens of thousands of people. He would be amazing to have on, bitchy hippie, Adriana Noel. she.
